[Hal, Val, Sal, Cal, and Dick walk into Al's Café]

Yum, nibble, nibble, nibble Bundt, nibble, cake,
Yum, nibble, nibble, nibble much, nibble, cake.

Sit. . .
"SoupOrSaladSandwichBiscuits?Let'sEat"Hal'sProposin'.
At Al's café you will find
Lot's of things to be chosen.
Lasagna is freshly stuffed,
Not like those dinners frozen.

"SoupOrCalcium-RichDishesLet'sEat"Val'sProposin'.
Yum, nibble, nibble, nibble, yum, nibble, hake,
Yum, nibble, nibble, nibble much, nibble, hake.

The five go there six times a week;
Al's their surrogate dad.
At the menu they take a peek:
Today's special is shad.

There's also a roasted game bird;
Aromas fill their nose.
With all they eat, they may get GERD,
But down the hatch it goes. Go. . .

"SuperbCattleFranks'N'BrisketLet'sEat"Sal'sProposin'.
Sal must be a red-meat man,
The others are supposin'.
He just cannot get enough,
Though arteries are closin'.

SoupNorSaladFrappedGinInMitts"Prosit"CalIsToastin'.
Drunk, tipple, tipple, tipple, drunk, tipple, baked.
Drunk, lips'll slip until he'll mispronounce sake.

He makes toasts from around the world,
A special one is sent
To Al, who wipes a tear away
Then in a bow is bent.

They do lots of marsala,
Negating sobriety.
The hours pass; it's half past ten;
They've reached satiety. Then:

"SuperbCalculateTheTipDickLet'sLeaveAl'sIsClosin'"
"Let's go to the gallery,"
What Richard is proposin'.
An art buff, he'd rendered ruff
While paintin' Alice posin'.

"SuperbCraftedFranklTriptychLet'sLeaveGall'ry'sClosing."
Hunt, diddle, diddle, diddle, hunt, diddle, make
It with a chick who'll slip out on sleeping mate.

It's Hal who says, "The night is young,
So, hey, let's make our way
To summon up some 'birds,'
As the lads in Britain might say."

A bar--they drink dog-hairfully;
With alcohol they're rife.
Then--all five in bed with one girl,
And that girl is Al's wife.