It’s the most slumberful time when you’re here.
Because you’re always yelling
and no one is quelling your voice, so I veer
off to bed to slumber when you are near.

It’s the nap-nappiest season of all.
Away from you I’m creeping so I can be sleeping
when you start to squall.
First a nap, then into deep sleep I fall.

As you’re artlessly boasting,
REM sleep I am hosting,
oblivious to smoke you blow.
You are so loud and boring
that I’m out and snoring
to well beyond morning cock’s crow.

It’s the most slumberful time when you’re here.
To hibernation going
am I, thus not knowing
that you shout and jeer.
It’s the most slumberful time when you’re near.

As you’re farting and boasting,
ZZ’s I am hosting,
oblivious to your lame show.
I am so glad I’m snoring;
I’ll sleep to late morning,
hoping before then you will go.

It’s the most wonderful time when I hear:
You’re about to be going;
and then I am knowing:
not until next year
will you boast, grumble, and jeer;
You’re a ghost for a whole year!
Then I’ll host slumberful time without peer.