Stay stewed when times are sad.
Even bad grog makes you feel better.
Remember to wet yer throat when you're parched;
You'll be unstarched, unstayed from fetters.

Stay stewed on beer you made;
Add limeade to make it taste better,
Or thin it with some dry wonderful gin
And then begin Aztec two-step, sir.

Have any wine or fuel from grain, stay stewed, refrain
From desiccation and gettin' sober.
And don't forget the golden rule on a bar stool:
For urnination, unzip your robe, sir.

Stay stewed, pound some more down
Till you've drowned, sir, the thoughts that pester
The pressure caused by the fermenters' art
And you can fart to make it lesser.

So let it out, a whiff begins; hey, dude, impinge,
Abating the sumped bum to perforce wick.
But don't you know if you must poo, hey, dude: the loo--
The movement need be in the commode, sir.

Hey, dude, you made it, lad,
So your pants pong aerates, won't fester.
In men's room, you let turds in you depart,
Now you can fart and make no mess, sir.