Ditzy girl is just out-and-out barmy;
Smiling with her eyes is not her style.
Though she ain’t an Eire-head, she’s full of blarney;
When she speaks she’ll miss the facts by a mile.

“Crazy eyes” effects the women mostly;
It is seen less frequently in the guys.
Here I talk about the technical term only*—
There’s a type for those who win the booby prize.

She’ll tell you that the trigger that was squeezin’
For the shot heard ’round the world was in a town
In New Hampshire, with its glorious fall season.
The orbs in her head spin wildly around.

She can’t hide her crazy eyes;
She might try, but can’t disguise
She’s unsound; we realize
It every time we spy her crazy eyes.

She’s a motherlode of clownishness; the waiting
Period ain’t long for her to spill some spiel
That’s way of the mark; the latest is conflating
The “Duke” and John Wayne Gacy—this chick’s unreal!

A nutcase lacking charm, she’s untethered
In her run for president, so for a while
We must listen to her blather till we’ve weathered
Random rants of cant unbacked by facts file.

She can’t hide her crazy eyes;
She might try, but can’t disguise
She’s unwound; we realize
It every time we hear her crazy lies.

Opens mouth and pours out one more wrong one;
Now it seems only fair to question, why
Did voters in her district get this wrong done?
Though hyperborean, brains might be fried.

I wonder if maybe they too aren’t crazy
To have as their choice one who’s such a fool.
There must be some who ain’t loons but just lazy. . .
Stayed home Tuesday, thinking voting ain’t cool.

Why oh why do some people do such strange things?
At least I’m quite sure that we shan’t yet see
Her make it to the White House—that would change things. . .
Minne. madness to mass insanity.

She can’t hide her crazy eyes;
She might try, but when she pries
Open her mouth, out fly lies
There ain’t no way to hide her crazy eyes.


* Typically found in women, but also in men, crazy eyes are detectable when an afflicted person is at a normal restful state and the white part of the eye (the sclera) is clearly visible above and below the iris. This person appears to be glaring wide eyed when in fact s/he is just looking as s/he normally would.