The guy ain’t grieving. . .made his day.
The caucus results—what a surprise, he won!
He ain’t exactly the Hawkeye state’s favorite son;
Some voters had a change of heart.

Mitty, whoa! dude’s that number:
Right now he’s sitting on the top shelf.
“Couldn’t do any better, what the hell?!”
Kibitzed enough to jump him
To the top spot. . .nearly blown
Was the win; did just eight votes better
Than Rick the Gnome.

Mitt had some friends around, so he gained
Just enough votes to barely beat the schmoe
Whose name means what from hind can flow.
Some voters had a change of heart

Mitty, whoa! dude’s that number:
For the moment, he’s on the top shelf.
“Couldn’t do any better, what the hell?!”
Kibitzed enough to jump him
To number 1. . .nearly blown
Was the win; did just eight votes better
Than Rick the Gnome.

So many say he ain’t their kind,
But they want the White House next time. . .
Held nose as with a rank fart.

Mitty, whoa! cruised to number 1
Now, at least, he’s on the top shelf.
“Couldn’t do any better, what the hell?!”
Kibitzed some who’d not dump him,
Though with their votes came a groan.
There were several that they liked better. . .
Those chances blown.

Ms. B. is gone, but bum-spurt
Eponym had close numbers.