I mocked the sheriff; and he was, I cooed, a deb, pretty,
I mocked the sheriff; and he was, I cooed, a deb, pretty.

I expound: "You wear a gown
And tiara on your crown.
You look like Miss Congeniality
In pageant at penitentiary. . .
Wife of plenipotentiary.
Nyah, nyah, nyah!"

CHORUS:
I mocked the sheriff; I told him that he wear's women's vests.
I mocked the sheriff: the vests cover the bra he wears on his chest.

"Sheriff brown-nose never's dated; he
Lives with mom; name's Moe.
And I have heard that he has peed
His bed till it makes mildew grow,
His bed till it makes mildew grow.
Nyah, nyah!"

CHORUS

"See him--he sashays this way,
Gary Cooper in a gown.
Grace Kelly he longs to be, shavin' peach down,
Pancake makeup by the pound,
He's the slut, the slut of town.
Hi, poon!"

CHORUS

"His pecs covered by a sweater; he
Is just like Wood, Edward D.,*
A putz as well as angora-clad 'belle,'
Surrounded by lots of freakish louts,
And when he can't get his way, he pouts.
Nyah, nyah, nyah!"

I mocked the sheriff; and he was, I cooed, a deb, pretty--"Homo!"
I mocked the sheriff; and he was, I cooed, a deb, pretty--'Ho', Moe!"


*Low-budget, cross-dressing auteur of such classics as "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "Glen or Glenda?" Immortalized by director Tim Burton and actor Johnny Depp in "Ed Wood."