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Song Parodies -> "Drunken Tipple Freak"

Original Song Title:

"Up On Cripple Creek"

Original Performer:

The Band

Parody Song Title:

"Drunken Tipple Freak"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

MESCAL: Tequila-like beverage made from maguey plants. CHARTREUSE: green or yellow French liqueur. GLAUCOUS: greenish-yellow. BLACK HORSE: brand of beer. BROTHERS: Christian Brothers, low-quality jug wine. SLOE: sloe gin, sweet liqueur made from sloe (Blackthorn) berries. ARAK: Middle Eastern anise-flavored spirit. NUN: Blue Nun, sweet German white wine. PHYLLOXERA (Daktulosphaira vitifoliae, family Phylloxeridae, superfamily Aphidoidea): a pest of commercial grapevines worldwide, originally native to eastern North America. These tiny, pale yellow sap-sucking insects, related to aphids, attack the roots of grape vines. The insects and secondary fungal infections can girdle roots, gradually cutting off the flow of nutrients and water to the vine.
If wine jets popped from a fountain,
You know where it all would go--
Straight down to mingle with my liver,
Booze I gulp up. . .Mescal flow.
I'll take Chartreuse, be hammered.
Little messy hurl, a glaucous hue.
Creep rolled me when drunk, so I
Will snare everything when I rob you.

Drunken tipple freak, ingestin'
Junk that's triple sweet; investin'
In pumpin' this treat to my intestine--
A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one.

Good punch for my tummy,
To package store I did go;
I'd get some Black Horse and gin
And I'd get me some Brothers and Sloe.
The odds were that I'd savor
It all; by 5:00 be done.
Some might nag that gin takes you down the track
Sure enough leads to rum.

Drunken tipple freak, ingestin'
Junk that's triple sweet; investin'
In pumpin' this treat to my intestine--
A drunkard's dream if I ever did seize rum.

I took a cup and dripped in it
Beaujolais that's best to quaff
Before it get tannined and it tastes
Of cork--prime's past.
Pumped many drinks down piehole wide, whirled
Because I sure had to pee.
I piddled on my girl; she whined. . .
Zipped my pole up and did flee.

Drunken tipple freak, ingestin'
Junk that's triple sweet; investin'
In pumpin' this treat to my intestine--
A drunkard's dream if I ever did bleed tuns.

Ow! Me and my mate blacked out on Arak;
We had spiked Rhône from a box.
She says, "I can't stand those flavored drinks--
It's like gluggin' beer with pox."
Now that crud made her start to sob;
She was bobbin' on her feet.
And I swore (actually, just pure bull):
"That bevy crap is sweet!"

Drunken tipple freak, ingestin'
Junk that's triple sweet; investin'
In pumpin' this treat to my intestine--
A drunkard's dream if I ever sipped sweet Nun.

Now I have chugged stout in California,
And up north the beer is cold,
But I'm swiggin' on a Rhône
That's messed up with a mold.
So I'll express, cough up Phylloxera,
Return to extollin' gin.
I now can't keep down red wines, exceptin'
That gloriously peppery Zin.

Drunken tipple freak, ingestin'
Junk that's triple sweet; investin'
In pumpin' this treat to my intestine--
A drunk's bad dream; wish I never had begun.

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Total Votes: 3

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alvin rhodes - September 06, 2006 - Report this comment
quite eloquent
TJC - September 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Another verbal masterpiece! By the by.... what do you get when you cross a wine maker with one who pens parodies... a penologist?
John Barry - September 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin, TJC. . .what do you get when you cross a wine-lover with a fan of Roxy Music? An Enophile.
AFW - September 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Tricky rhyming and phrasing...

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