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Song Parodies -> "The Elves, Dazed, off Cliff Pushed"
Original Song Title:
"The Twelve Days of Christmas"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"The Elves, Dazed, off Cliff Pushed"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
On the curse daze of Cliff mess, vile stooge lugs gave to me
the two parties: [pachy]derm and donkey.
Bullshit-fecund daze of Cliff mess, vile stooge punks gave to me
few words to love
from the parties ’derm and donkey.
On the turds bray of Cliff mess, lying thugs gave to me
screaming men’s
few words to love
from the parties ’derm and donkey.
On-wrong-course daze of Cliff mess, lying lugs gave to me
more galling words,
screeching men,
doom-flirting dunces
from parties ’derm and donkey.
On-the-filch ways of Cliff mess, vile louche nuts gave to me
jive-spoken kings,
bore galling words,
leeching men,
doom-flirting skunks,
both the parties ’derm and donkey.
On-the-grift ways of Cliff mess, vile louche sluts gave to me
thick-feces braying,
jive-bloated kings,
sore galling words,
creepy men,
rule-shirking skunks,
both the parties ’derm and donkey.
On the feckless daze of Cliff mess, screw loose nuts gave to me
plenty cons a-grifting,
“thrift” theses braying,
jive-boasting kings,
roared galling words,
sleazy men,
tools of big bucks,
both the parties ’derm and donkey.
Awful-waste daze of Cliff mess, loose, louche skunks gave to me
state nay-nays milking,
plenty cons o’ filching,
dickweeds a-braying,
jive-gloating kings,
whores squalling words,
beastly men,
tool-spurting sucks
on the part where their patrons pee.
On the “neinth” daze of Cliff mess, I’m-screwed skunks gave to me
high priests romancing:
they whose play’s swindling,
bent on money filching,
pickings big taking,
high-finance kings;
more bawling words,
D.C. fen;
rule-skirting skunks
of merged party: Pachydonkey.
Hogs-at-trench ways of Cliff mess, I’m-blew funk gave to me
stench o’ whores reaping
piles of our taxes;
great, they, at swindling,
gents and honeys filching,
pigs fleecing, taking,
piling up bling’;
more offal scourge,
creep henchmen,
fool blurting drunk
whose eyes part and shed shamelessly.
On the real senseless daze of Cliff mess, guy who’s drunk gave to me
real senseless tripe that’s rip’ning,
feckless bore weeping—
ninth round of brandy
tasting and sipping,
then to gonzo swigging;
drinking’s his main thing,
high bonehead king;
bore mauling words,
he’s drenched then
spews burble flubs.
That’s his party; and the donkey:
Awful-smell ways of Cliff mess, guy who won gave to me. . .
well, not much coming
relative to belt-tight’ning;
lemmings more creeping;
time shortened vastly;
way strays to slipping;
sense is gone or dwindling;
16* is braying.
I stroll to rim,
corralling scourge.
Flee, henchmen!
Crew spurned, all shoved—
then depart, pricks and chicks scary.
the two parties: [pachy]derm and donkey.
Bullshit-fecund daze of Cliff mess, vile stooge punks gave to me
few words to love
from the parties ’derm and donkey.
On the turds bray of Cliff mess, lying thugs gave to me
screaming men’s
few words to love
from the parties ’derm and donkey.
On-wrong-course daze of Cliff mess, lying lugs gave to me
more galling words,
screeching men,
doom-flirting dunces
from parties ’derm and donkey.
On-the-filch ways of Cliff mess, vile louche nuts gave to me
jive-spoken kings,
bore galling words,
leeching men,
doom-flirting skunks,
both the parties ’derm and donkey.
On-the-grift ways of Cliff mess, vile louche sluts gave to me
thick-feces braying,
jive-bloated kings,
sore galling words,
creepy men,
rule-shirking skunks,
both the parties ’derm and donkey.
On the feckless daze of Cliff mess, screw loose nuts gave to me
plenty cons a-grifting,
“thrift” theses braying,
jive-boasting kings,
roared galling words,
sleazy men,
tools of big bucks,
both the parties ’derm and donkey.
Awful-waste daze of Cliff mess, loose, louche skunks gave to me
state nay-nays milking,
plenty cons o’ filching,
dickweeds a-braying,
jive-gloating kings,
whores squalling words,
beastly men,
tool-spurting sucks
on the part where their patrons pee.
On the “neinth” daze of Cliff mess, I’m-screwed skunks gave to me
high priests romancing:
they whose play’s swindling,
bent on money filching,
pickings big taking,
high-finance kings;
more bawling words,
D.C. fen;
rule-skirting skunks
of merged party: Pachydonkey.
Hogs-at-trench ways of Cliff mess, I’m-blew funk gave to me
stench o’ whores reaping
piles of our taxes;
great, they, at swindling,
gents and honeys filching,
pigs fleecing, taking,
piling up bling’;
more offal scourge,
creep henchmen,
fool blurting drunk
whose eyes part and shed shamelessly.
On the real senseless daze of Cliff mess, guy who’s drunk gave to me
real senseless tripe that’s rip’ning,
feckless bore weeping—
ninth round of brandy
tasting and sipping,
then to gonzo swigging;
drinking’s his main thing,
high bonehead king;
bore mauling words,
he’s drenched then
spews burble flubs.
That’s his party; and the donkey:
Awful-smell ways of Cliff mess, guy who won gave to me. . .
well, not much coming
relative to belt-tight’ning;
lemmings more creeping;
time shortened vastly;
way strays to slipping;
sense is gone or dwindling;
16* is braying.
I stroll to rim,
corralling scourge.
Flee, henchmen!
Crew spurned, all shoved—
then depart, pricks and chicks scary.
*as in 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
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Here's to USA Titanic! And the band played on...!!!
Such a vocabulary of wonderfully descriptive terms.
Fitting and well done
Outstanding vocab and subs! I learned a new word today - louche (successful day). JAB, I thought I was a little obsessed with idiots in DC, but I see you're there too. Well done - they getting close, so they'll be taking their bows soon for saving the country.
"applauds" well done! ...even if I had to look up some of the words used here LOL! 5's!
Many thanks, all!
For the most part I've gotten pretty tired of cliffmess parodies, but this was a gem supreme! Loved how you varied each stanza, when you could have just as easily repeated the lines. Favorite line: "I stroll to rim..."
As Merry, the variation of each stanza was a humbing showcase for all of us. Is there any end to your ability to calve new lines from old?
The work that obviously went into this... I feel like a right slacker now! So, so many killer lines, with smart barbs that hit right on target; it should be mailed to every one of them as a Christmas card from the nation. A resounding 555 - with interest :^)
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