We see your picture
On TV each night, mugging.
This is your big debut;
You hope your dream comes true.
And when you smile for the camera,
The Stoli I start chuggin’, Meg

You were a big shot,
The chief of Internet scourge[1]
When it was under you. . .
Hosted a thieving crew.
Now when you smile for the camera
I get my whistle wetter.

Meg,
I can’t be backin’ you,
Meg,
Hope we’ll be lacking you. . .
Utterly appall
You’ve got all of the money,
Which you’ll pay for upward moving.

To be the big shot
We need someone who’s better—
Yeah, anyone but you;
If you should win, I’ll rue
If I had my druthers, Campbell,[2]
But he’s going for sen’tor.

Meg,
I can’t be backin’ you,
Meg,
Hope we’ll be lacking you,
Full of dough and gall. . .
Hope you’ll be hauling, honey
Far away after you’re losing.


[1]Whitman was CEO of eBay during its fraud-facilitation heyday; amusingly, rival billionaire Dbag Steve Poizner is running ads claiming Meg was a porn purveyor, as eBay had/has an adult section.
[2]Tom Campbell is the only republication candidate qualified to serve as governor, IMO. He has done time in the U.S. House and has taught and held deanships at Stanford and Berkeley. Having essentially no money, however, he gave up on the republican buy-the-governorship gambit and is instead challenging Carly (“Wrecked HP”) Fiorina for the republican nomination for U.S. Senate. The other republican gubernatorial contender, Chuck Devore, is a Socal troglodyte currently helping further destroy the state as a member of the ASSembly.