O is for, Oh, why must it be me?
Y’s for yentah[1], messhuge[2] is she,
V’s for “vetch”: it’s K-free,
E is for eppes[3]—enough, already!
Y’s for Yiddish; more I should learn, but still on I forge.

Can’t gargle some sounds in my gorge.

OY VEY! What’s a poor person to do?
OY VEY! For this line’s rhyme I’ll use Jew.
With K I’m kvetchin’ while words to this site I’m schleppin’
to concoct this tune for you.

O’s for osvorf[4]—that is I, some say,
Y’s for Yom Kippur, atonement day,
V’s very few Y words in this dictionary,[5]
E’s for ecce homo. . .throw some Latin your way.
Y’s for yentz, to fornicate, ’cause what are mayses[6] for?!

Genitalia never bore!

OY VEY! On my moyl[7] there is a moue.
OY VEY! Cuts the mohel[8]—to tip, “Adieu!”
Males, females gets Mitzvahs, chance for Manischewitz abuse
OY VEY! Gornisht[9] there but juice!

OY VEY! Gotta go to schul,
another reason to pule.
I’m waiting for some good news: the arrival of Shabbat.
Yentz! Neyn[10] vey! It’s time for poon—
like Shabbat: can’t come too soon.

It’s time to get in the groove:
me and shiksa[11] start to spoon—
I am singing the “Hava Nagila” tune.


[1] gossipy woman
[2] crazy
[3] unsatisfactory
[4] scoundrel, bum
[5] The Joy of Yiddish
[6] genitals
[7] mouth
[8] circumciser, often a Rabbi
[9] nothing
[10] no
[11] young non-Jewish woman