He told the youngsters they should be gone…
opportunities rife.
To West he suggests they wend—
but pack a rifle and a knife!

Metaphorical bars
are forcing some folks to stay.
Adventurous ones will flee from
the place they’re living today.

“There’s no boundaries in America—
stuck in East you needn’t be.
You can head off to the other side.”
So says Horace Greely.

“The West just might be the place for you;
you can surely find your way.
OK, I’m a tout,
but here’s the plan:
Go West, young man, today.

“You’ll pass lakes in Minnesota—
huge mosquitoes there to see,
and their bites will be quite vexing,
so you’ll want to quickly flee.

“You’ll be joyous when you lose ’em.
On to Pacific bays.
Though the bite of a mosquito may smart,
don’t let rattlers strike—dismay.

“Get the venom out or you might be done,
or at least face misery.
See a snake—give it a berth that’s wide,
and no bite there will be.
But if you should be filled with snake juice,
heed this warning; stay OK.
Never suck it out,
or you’ll be damned.
Docs say: ‘Do that, you’ll pay!’

If you bound past, no acrid venom;
you’re filled not with juice but glee.
’cause no tourniquet had to be tied…
nixed, exsanguinity!
Then the next place you’ll be coming to:
where there were Donner filets.
They opened their mouths
for luncheon plans.

“‘No fress of man,’ you’ll pray.”