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Song Parodies -> "I Wanna Hoe Your Land"

Original Song Title:

"I Wanna Hold Your Hand"

Original Performer:

Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"I Wanna Hoe Your Land"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

"Tubes" is short for "tubers." It's actually "ammonium nitrate," but I needed the long "i" sound. . .so, parodic license.
I Wanna Hoe Your Land

Oh when I smell that crumbling
Topsoil that's in my hand.
My stomach starts rumbling.
I wanna hoe your land. (3x)

Oats, peas, hay, tubes,* beets—
Part of my long-term plan.
Grow these, and toute de suite
I'll start to hoe your land.
I wanna hoe your land.
I wanna hoe your land.

When I mulch humus, seeds stay aqueous inside.
When the young seedlings sprout above
They'll abide, they'll abide, they'll abide.

Manure now is dumping
From many bovine cans.
The ordure can be numbing
If your nose isn't clamped
Cover it with your hand.
Cover it with your hand!

I've got enough now; I need no more cowshite.
It's not appealing, ammonium nitrite.
Stank! nitrite, stank! nitrite, stank! nitrite.

To you, I'm just a bumpkin—
A gauche agrarian.
But I can grow a pumpkin,
Once I have hoed your land.
I wanna hoe your land. (3x)


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8
Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
  0
  0
  
 2   0
  0
  0
  
 3   1
  1
  1
  
 4   0
  0
  0
  
 5   12
  12
  12
  

User Comments

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Arwen - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
5s...if only for using "toute de suite!"
Ashkicksass - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL John!
The Thought Police - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
When farming the tubers,be sure to spray every now and then for the ocassional Beatle. I give it three fries,er,I mean fives!
K1chyd - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I gotta admit the title had me fooled. :-)
alvin rhodes - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
hoe hoe hoe...5s
John Barry - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, fellow farmers.
Dee Range - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
15 tubers. Good job, John
Paul Robinson - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, JB...Very clever & well done rhyme scheme + a good bit of "Farm Science" to boot. Ee-yi-ee-yi- "3" five(s)...
Guy - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I hoe you three fives just for the "Oats please" - Well done.
Johnny D - August 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! My wife and I are members of a local organic Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) farm, so I can relate!
Kristof Robertson - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
555 For Farmah Jahn!
Claude Prez - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Great title; well executed

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