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Song Parodies -> "‘God’ Rendered as an Anagram"

Original Song Title:

"Got Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"‘God’ Rendered as an Anagram"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

“God” rendered as an anagram
is a type of wordplay.
It’s bent to reveal a canine
that at the moon might bay.
When gone beyond a bay and glower…
your skin might start to fray
owed to biting discomfort that annoys,
really annoys.
Fie on hide-biting discomfort that annoys!

Then a rent leg is what you’ll feel
or a butt roughly torn.
Such canines can cause much danger
if a muzzle’s not borne.
Yes, this mutt scourge ain’t rare…scary.
Is it this way they’re born—
for sore biting discomfort that annoys,
really annoys?
Knife-like thigh-biting discomfort that annoys.

Fear-wrought you’ll be when a danger
of this type is in sight.
Hope that it at least ain’t mangy
as it homes in to bite.
The question: Is it nurture? Is
it nature…a birthright,
oh that biting discomfort that annoys,
really annoys?
Might be signs of each when chomper tines deploy.

Dog-rendered skin and gashèd gams
go well beyond mere play.
Dismemberment by bad canines
means a hospital stay.
Or it could mean your final hour
before you pass away
from bold bitings that cause to be deployed
makeup-mask ploys
like plies from Thanatogenous-tries Joyboy.*


*Chief Cosmetician, Mr. Joyboy (played by Rod Steiger) at Whispering Glades in the 1965 film “The Loved One”; he craves one of his grave employees, Aimee Thanatogenous (Anjanette Comer) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvMafuhs578

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Patrick - December 16, 2022 - Report this comment
A classic, well-crafted parody by one of the masters of wordsmithing. You have to pay attention when you read and imagine hearing it. A couple nights ago I encountered such a situation. I was leaving the library when a dog barked at me from the window of a car. The owner had just stepped out and saw me as I retreated to the building and closed the door. She assured me all was well. They always do. She stood by her car as I returned to mine. Turns out there were three large animals in the vehicle. I've had a fear of such a mauling from my earliest childhood. I may have to start carrying a gun again. Though I shudder to think what might happen if I had to defend myself. Vicious dogs have a higher social status than people in most places.
JAB - December 16, 2022 - Report this comment
Thanks, Patrick. I share your sentiments about bad canines.
CML - December 17, 2022 - Report this comment
My daughter was jumped by a neighbor's Dalmation and nipped in the ear at a very young age. These morons didnt understand that a Dalmation is a very high strung reed and should NOT be kept in a house with no back yard. She got over it to the point where she has two dogs now, including a German Shepherd "tri pawed" .. which is a dog that lost a limb early in life due to the negligence of its first owner. I even wrote a ditty about it to the tune of "Blackbird"
CML - December 17, 2022 - Report this comment
I can even joke about the incident now as in ... I always worried about the after effects on her mind. But apparently the only odd behavior it caused was that she cries at the end of "100 Dalmations" and laughs at the end of "Old Yeller" ... Oh, and then there was the time she was suspended for a week from school when she carved "You go Kruella" on the top of her desk.
Rick Duncan - December 22, 2022 - Report this comment
You deserve the fives for this one, but I notice when I write an anti dog song I get all ones. Thank you for this public service message.

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