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Song Parodies -> "Must--a Kosher Wok for Meat"

Original Song Title:

"Just a Closer Walk with Thee"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Must--a Kosher Wok for Meat"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

This resulted from an exchange I had with AFW after he'd done "Just a Kosher Walk with Thee."
If there's meat in it, it's wrong
Cheeses to add, weak or strong.
Bring another one along.
In your wok with dairy, throw no meat.

Must--a kosher wok for meat.
Milk and cheeses, please retreat.
Dairy woking separately.
That is what the rabbi said to me.

Threw some kosher oil in there.
Kosher salt gives it some flair.
Don't let your deep cooker share
Meat and dairy; dairy and meat.

Must--a kosher wok for meat,
But make sure none of it's pig's feet.
That's something you must not eat--
No pork, no bacon, no ham treats.

If seafood with shells you score
When you shopped at the food store.
Not kosher--I can't say more.
Take it back, or leave it on shore.

Must a kosher wok for meat,
Dairy, pork, shellfish, retreat.
If you've started, you must cease,
Even if you're Jewish-Chinese.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
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 4   0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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AFW - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done....perfectly stirred...a diplomatic deli-cacy...
Johnny D - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
In Brookline, Massachusetts (home of Michael Dukakis, former Democratic Presidential candidate), there's a kosher Chinese restaurant called "Shalom Hunan".
Kristof Robertson - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Kosher Chinese....what a ca-razee country you live in....555
Dee Range - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Wok this way towards so fives, John.
Royce Miller - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
another funny one, John--I also learned some things from this-
John Barry - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
To thank you I should, AFW, JD, Kristof, Dee, Royce.
Alyssa - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
That was spectacular, John....even though i don't know the original 555
Michael Pacholek - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
In Highland Park, New Jersey, right next door to each other -- I swear, I am not making this up, they're at 231 and 229 Raritan Avenue (Route 27) -- are Jerusalem Pizza and Kosher Chinese.
Rick Cormier - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one, John...5's
MasonR - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but very well oriented. 555! Mazel Tov, John. Michael Pacholek--small world...I'm usually at Jerusalem Pizza in HP on Thursday evenings with my kids! It's good pizza. They need a bigger place. There's a much better Kosher Chinese restaurant in (of all places) Manville, about 20 minutes away.
alvin rhodes - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
delightfully goofy
Steve K. - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Kosher Chinese is not as unusual as you might think. In DC there was a place called "Moshe Dragon", where the pork dishes were replaced by lamb.
Schlomo Wu-Li Chang - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Mazel-Tov, '的朋友 !!!!!
crimsonandclover - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
hey, I know the Shalom Hunan in Brookline....and Ta'am China (Ta'am means taste). I've never heard the song this parodies, but it was funny anyway!
thor throat - January 19, 2009 - Report this comment
has anyone heard 'just a plate of chicken meat'?

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