Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Whittle Down That Elm Tree Stem"

Original Song Title:

"Little Town of Bethlehem"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Whittle Down That Elm Tree Stem"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Go whittle down that elm tree stem,
but first sharpen your knife.
Don’t let it leap and then dig deep
into you…end your life.
The blade is sharp and shiny,
in the light very bright.
Don’t open veins—you’ll be in pain
and then be out of sight.

So of the knife be wary
and use it just to cut
the wood you reap; don’t let it creep
astray and carve a rut
in your arm or your nethers;
not for a moment shirk.
Might make a chink, if you should drink,
in your abdomen’s girth.

Now carefully, so carefully
the strips of wood are riven.
Watch them depart as whittling art
is that for which you’ve striven.
Don’t do a van Gogh ear thing;
just focus on that stick
and carve, and carve, and carve until
you’re down to the last nick.

You’ve carved in style that elm tree stem;
sweatily you fileted.
Product’s not thick—it’s a toothpick
I see that you have made.
At least it isn’t angled,
as far as I can tell.
So let’s go crunch upon some lunch,
then molar spaces delve.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/traditional2599.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 638