A cow's more svelte, I fear,
My big belly bulges and burgeons.
I look like in a weir
What I saw once: roe-bloated sturgeons.

I sup till I'm full up;
I've gobbled everything off my plate.
It's more I want, though it's
Increasing my weight.

Omelets, had quite few,
Too much beef stew, with bad intentions.
And squid--ingested a slew,
Now I balloon from fat distentions.

I've planned each multi-course
Menu with thoughts of food in my pate,
Yet more I want, though it's
Increasing my weight.

Fress all the time--not sex, but food,
Partially chewed, which is rather rude.
Gorging gave me gallstones and gout,
But still I kept stuffing my snout.
My face appalls--nose like De Gaulle's:
Two kilos, dry weight.

Supersized fries as sides,
I'm never filled; I'm also boozing.
Into my mouth beer slides,
No exercise. . .always snoozing.

To think I ate all that,
Including all the food of my date.
I filched her fricassee;
She won't share my fate

How big is a man, how great his gut
If he is naught but a nachos slut?
Who even eats potato peels
From the dumpster in which he kneels.
The record's shown: I'm 50 stone
And that's just dry weight.

I can't curb my weight.