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Song Parodies -> "These Bees Sting"

Original Song Title:

"We Three Kings"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"These Bees Sting"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

These bees sting—they ornery are,
Bearing stickers. . .traversed in far.
Welts are mounting; I’ve stopped counting.
Swallowing now is hard.

Oh, darn my blunder: I walked right
Into the hive—"Oops! Oh shite!!!"
Pests receding leave me grieving,
My skin red, bumpy, and bright.

Bored they into the dermal plane
Of my crown, causing me much pain.
Not too clever, I’ll hurt ever;
Wish I had lidocaine.

Oh, darn my blunder: I walked right
Into the hive—then my plight.
Took a beating, now I’m bleating
And I’m an imperfect sight.

Frankly, dense when walking was I;
Incensed insects commenced to fly.
I was praying they’d stop flaying
My hide. . .felt I would die.

Oh, darn my blunder: I walked right
Into the hive—not too bright!
Took a beating though entreating
Guy on high to end my plight.

Mirth ain’t mine; embittered in gloom
Am I, staggering to bathroom.
Sorrowing, sighing, heaving, crying;
From cab’net I exhume

O-pioids, wondrous pills of white;
I’ll take five and feel just right.
Five I’m eating; not retreating
Is pain; relief less than slight.

Ten I vow will stanch all my sighs—
Down the hatch. . .a haze clouds my eyes.
Palliative palls my eyelids;
“Earth to John!” my wife cries.

Oh, darn my blunder: five was right;
Ten, too much, more than a mite.
Medics leaving, EReceiving. . .
Stomach-pumping starts tonight.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Rob Arndt - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Hive-5s for this parody!!!
wildcard - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
now I'm laughing
Patrick - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
A nice, basic parody. Don't have to worry about bees around here this time of year. Funny imagery.
John Barry - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, all. Your comments are sweet as honey.
Johnny D (a.k.a. The Comedian) - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner called, he wants his nickname back. :-)
LilNickTress - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Captain Jack de Barrel, this is a real Xmas gem, sir ! many congrats ! ! Loved the ER line . . . as well as the 'frankly dense', very apropriate for this traditional carol of thine, where the pain//sorrow meet the road.
LilCooCaress - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
~ Happy St Nichlaus Day ~ . . . Sir ! !
Old Man Ribber - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
JAB - Are they honey bees, bumble bees, killer bees...or esso bees? Either way, some stinging wit here. ;D
Puto - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
You are the great bee tender! - 5s
Phil N - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Just using this opportunity to say that any comments that the Wiser/Woser thought was from me actually weren't, a lot of people have been using this computer lately and I always sign my own name to everything I write. I also do not vote 1's on anything. Among my college acquaintances, amiright's a popular site and we had a lot of visitors over the past two days, some using the computer. A lot of those people don't know me. Sorry about anything anyone else wrote, I will not allow this computer to be used by others again.
Phil N - December 07, 2011 - Report this comment
And all I ask of you authors and readers is to not believe anything the Wiser/Woser says about me. I am a longtime trusted parody author on the site, have nothing but respect for fellow authors, and would never do anything he says I've done. He's just a crazy commenter with an ax to grind.

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