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Song Parodies -> "Face-Hair Denier"

Original Song Title:

"Hey There, Delilah"

Original Performer:

Plain White T's

Parody Song Title:

"Face-Hair Denier"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

Face-hair denier--
Out they hiked in New York City
When madman started to bray;
He railed that Israel is sh!tty. . .
Hates each Jew.
He’s rather fond of Hitler too
In World War II.

Face-hair denier,
Wants missiles that go the distance
To exterminate Israelis
Who have put up strong resistance. . .
Rule the skies,
Otherwise they know their country dies.
He can’t abide.

Oh, you are a dude hairy,
Oh, you are a dude scary,
Oh, you are a dupe hairy,
Oh, you are a dupe scary.

Face-hair denier,
Life for you is getting hard
Because most of the world
Ain’t too fond of you and retard pards--
Make girls wear hoods.
Let’s face it: females only good
To serve man’s woods.

Madman denier,
More isolated each day
Because the simpleton clerics love you;
The feeling goes both ways.
You write that all
History is just a smokescreen pall.
You do appall.

Oh, you are a douche hairy,
Oh, you are a douche scary,
Dude who’d never do Mary,
Dude’d do Mary’s pal fleecy.

A thousand AD’s where you are
In thought, though you ride in a car.
A crock is everything you have got to say.
Your friends, like you, completely nuts,
A laughingstock, in case you didn’t know,
You, nutcase that won’t go away.
Denier, pompadour your ’do,
Then put a bullet through
That cranium with rotted brain.
Your thoughts, insane!

Madman denier,
It’s certain that few would miss you,
Just neo-Nazis who kiss you
And who also shove in goats their tool.
You’d like to rewrite history from your view
Even though you are loose a screw.
Your land not free till they’re rid of you,
Bad-hair denier, and your crew.
Need your adieu.

Euw! you are a dude scary,
Euw! you’ve got a do’ scary,
You have a worldview scary,
Ewe--you’d never do Mary.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Great commentary, John! Very inventive use of the song...
alvin - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
nice bit o' bashin'
Fuhrer - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Take a goot look at zem. Zey are your new masters!
MadameDeNay - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Captain Jack, alias Sir sweaty, just who art thou referring to in this churlish ditty ? ?
John Barry - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mark, Alvin, Fuehrer (sag es ist nicht so!), Madame (Badmood Madmandigsjihad, president of Iran).
MadameDeNay - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Yes, of course, Captain Jack, Armed &Did-A Job, the Caliph of Persia !
Andy Primus - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Very funny way of describing a very unfunny dude
Tommy Turtle - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Hereby salute the guy who wrote the song
That spayed this crazy Hitler wanna-be
Who put the stomp on this clump of righteous pomp?
Who put the slam on Sir Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?
Who took a chop at this crop of piggy-slop?
Who spit his wit at this dipped-in-camel-sh*t?

JB's the man! I'd like to shake his hand!
Portrayed cry-baby's maul of history!
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
You spew your lying Zionist racist lines at me? Ha! I shoot my 111 missiles at you! There is no escaping the wrath of the Allah-Ones-God!

(admins: in case it wasn't clear, this was a joke at the expense of the unabomber, not a flame at the author or the song.)
TT - April 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Hmmm, TT's comment could be expanded into a full parody.... done. Should be up Thursday 22 April.
Geography Cop - April 23, 2009 - Report this comment
"Out they hiked in New York City" . conference was in geneva, not ny.
Cody Slusher - June 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Good job

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