Song Parodies ->Authors -> Tommy Turtle
Tommy Turtle is a green sea turtle, an amphibious reptile with a brain approximately the size of a pea, which explains a lot.Tommy's transcriber (that's moi) has been a professional actor, voice-over, stand-up comedian, and professional writer of comedy and parody, among other things.
Tommy's hero is Gamera, a 200-foot- (60m)-tall, prehistoric rocket-propelled flying Turtle who trashes Tokyo in the incomparable "Gamera The Invincible" (1965). The incredibly cool theme song was shamelessly imitated in the 1966-68 TV series, "Batman". There were numerous sequels, including "Gamera vs. Guiron"; in which Gamera becomes the friend of two boys captured by evil alien women who want to eat their brains. Cinematic art just doesn't get any better than this.
There have been occasional rumors that Tommy himself is a strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with some rather weird abilities. The Pentagon refuses either to confirm or to deny these rumors, claiming that to do so would lend credence to them, while the official position of the United States Air Force is that Tommy is a weather balloon.
Tommy is too bashful to describe himself except through his preferred medium of parody. Accurate self-profiles include "Tommy Turtle" and "T. Turtle". There are some pics of Tommy, a Pacing Guide, and some great OSs exemplifying internal rhyming, puns, etc. at his web site. Check out his web page. Tommy loves reader feedback, there or at his parodies. He and I both hope you enjoy them!
Song Parodies -> Lyrics
P stands for Pacing, F stands for How Funny, and O is for Overall Score.
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| Parody Title | Original Title | Performer | Submitted | P | F | O | H |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Condoleezza | Cara Mia | Jay and the Americans | 3.7 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 296 | |
| Love Handles | Love Child | Diana Ross and the Supremes | 2.8 | 2.0 | 2.2 | 158 | |
| Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (Iraq War version) | Smoke Gets In Your Eyes | The Platters | 3.2 | 2.6 | 2.8 | 149 | |
| Traces (of War) | Traces | Classics IV | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 155 | |
| The Unauthorized Spying Song | Turn Around, Look at Me | The Vogues | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.7 | 149 | |
| O. J. Simpson: Your Debts Are Gonna Grow | Your Nose Is Gonna Grow | Johnny Crawford | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 452 | |
| Wife Stabbers | Back Stabbers | The O'Jays | 2.5 | 1.0 | 2.0 | 167 | |
| Lying King | Dancing Queen | Abba | 3.0 | 2.7 | 2.7 | 427 | |
| Katrina | Maria | Bernstein/Sondheim | 3.2 | 2.6 | 2.6 | 135 | |
| Hillary | Tammy | Debbie Reynolds | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 151 | |
| Aniston | Galveston | Glen Campbell | 3.6 | 3.1 | 3.3 | 137 | |
| Go to Jail, Jack (Abramoff) | Hit the Road, Jack | Ray Charles | 3.9 | 3.6 | 3.6 | 128 | |
| Crazy Together (Bush and Blair) | Happy Together | The Turtles | 3.8 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 138 | |
| State o' th' Union | Western Union | Five Americans | 3.6 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 112 | |
| I Fought the Ex | I Fought the Law | Bobby Fuller Four | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 131 | |
| Superflu-ousparodiesaremadeupfromthisditty | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Mary Poppins | 4.0 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 170 | |
| Make Wars That Break Us | Break Up To Make Up | The Stylistics | 3.2 | 2.6 | 2.6 | 147 | |
| Lab Test | Rawhide | Frankie Laine | 4.1 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 136 | |
| Newcomputercamewithwindowsxphowatrocious | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Julie Andrews (Mary Poppins) | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.8 | 226 | |
| Nu-Cle-ar v2.0 (Bush Speech Therapy cont.) | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey | 3.4 | 3.1 | 3.3 | 148 | |
| 'Nu-Cle-ar' v1.0 (Bush Pronunciation Guide) | Maria | West Side Story/Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.7 | 382 | |
| Fake Knockers | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey | 3.7 | 3.2 | 3.2 | 147 | |
| I Feel Sh--ty | I Feel Pretty | West Side Story/Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.7 | 187 | |
| Threesome | Groovin' | The Rascals | 4.2 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 127 | |
| Strange Folks: AmIRight | Strangers In The Night | Frank Sinatra | 4.2 | 3.9 | 3.9 | 113 | |
| You F*** Too Much | You Talk Too Much | Joe Jones | 4.2 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 163 | |
| Tommy Turtle | Johnny Angel | Shelley Fabares | 4.1 | 3.7 | 3.9 | 345 | |
| Words | Words | Bee Gees | 3.8 | 3.2 | 3.5 | 171 | |
| Monday, No Song | Monday, Monday | The Mamas And The Papas | 3.7 | 3.5 | 3.5 | 188 | |
| Alexander (and others): Vol. III of Turtle Trilogy | Johnny Angel | Shelley Fabares | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 138 | |
| John A. Barry (and others): Vol. II of Turtle Trilogy | Johnny Angel | Shelley Fabares | 4.1 | 3.8 | 3.9 | 141 | |
| Johnny D-man (and others): Vol. I of TurtleTrilogy | Johnny Angel | Shelley Fabares | 4.0 | 3.8 | 3.9 | 124 | |
| Gimme, Gimme Coca Crop | Shimmy, Shimmy, Ko-Ko-Bop | Little Anthony And The Imperials | 3.8 | 3.0 | 3.2 | 145 | |
| Taxing Time | Twilight Time | The Platters | 4.1 | 3.4 | 3.8 | 129 | |
| If You Don't Want Hepatitis (Wash Your Hands) | 'If You're Happy and You Know It (Clap Your Hands) | Traditional | 4.4 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 171 | |
| A Girl Named Royce | A Boy Named Sue | Johnny Cash | 4.2 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 150 | |
| Jack Fletcher | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey | 3.5 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 108 | |
| You're Sixteen, I'm Forty-Nine, And You're Jail | You're Sixteen | Johnny Burnette (covered by Ringo Starr) | 4.4 | 4.0 | 4.2 | 201 | |
| Royce Miller | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey | 3.6 | 3.1 | 3.4 | 113 | |
| Brokenback Mountain | Wolverton Mountain | Claude King | 4.2 | 3.8 | 3.9 | 431 | |
| Butt-Crack-er (The Plumber's Parody) | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey | 4.2 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 127 | |
| Say A Prayer For Buddy Holly | Deck The Halls | Traditional | 4.4 | 3.8 | 4.2 | 131 | |
| John Barry | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey, John A. Barry, & Anthony Newley | 4.6 | 4.1 | 4.3 | 162 | |
| TV, Or Not TV | To Be, Or Not To Be | William Shakespeare: Hamlet | 4.2 | 4.1 | 4.1 | 663 | |
| Pacholek | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey and The Other John A. Barry | 4.0 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 137 | |
| 'Ones'-Scribers | Back Stabbers | The O'Jays | 3.7 | 3.3 | 3.3 | 146 | |
| All-Ones Guy | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey | 3.7 | 3.0 | 3.2 | 112 | |
| Michelob | Yesterday | The Beatles | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 137 | |
| I'm A Dish Washer | Girl Watcher | The O'Kaysions | 3.8 | 3.3 | 3.5 | 181 | |
| Michelob ('The Pomfret' Revision) | Yesterday | The Beatles | 3.9 | 3.7 | 3.8 | 104 | |
| B/D, Or Not B/D | To Be, Or Not To Be | William Shakespeare: Hamlet | 3.6 | 3.7 | 3.6 | 292 | |
| Negra Modelo (The Mexican Beer Song) | Eleanor Rigby | The Beatles | 3.9 | 3.4 | 3.6 | 280 | |
| Lasagna | Maria | West Side Story/Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.1 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 136 | |
| Tijuana, Know A Secret | Do You Want To Know A Secret? | The Beatles | 4.5 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 146 | |
| Ever-Blasting Steam | Everlasting Love | Robert Knight/Carl Carlton/Gloria Estefan/U2 etc. | 4.0 | 3.6 | 3.8 | 120 | |
| Alvin Rhodes | Yesterday | The Beatles | 3.7 | 3.8 | 3.7 | 138 | |
| Cheney, Dick | Yesterday | The Beatles | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.1 | 132 | |
| Airfarcewon | Yesterday | The Beatles | 4.4 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 172 | |
| T. Turtle | Goldfinger | Shirley Bassey | 3.9 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 180 | |
| The Far-Sighted Fighters | The Star Spangled Banner | Francis Scott Key | 4.2 | 3.9 | 4.0 | 171 | |
| There, Their, They're (Usage Guide) | Turn, Turn, Turn | The Byrds | 4.3 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 246 | |
| Don't Patty-Cake Me, Oh, My Darlin' | High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me) | Frankie Laine / Tex Ritter | 4.1 | 3.8 | 3.9 | 174 | |
| Prudish Little Girl | Foolish Little Girl | The Shirelles | 3.8 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 156 | |
| Gory, Gory: Haul In Moolah (Battle Hymn Of The Movies) | Battle Hymn Of The Republic | Julia Ward Howe | 4.3 | 4.1 | 4.3 | 258 | |
| McArthur's Mark (Is Angelina Jolie) | MacArthur Park | Richard Harris | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 295 | |
| Two Cases Have I | Two Faces Have I | Lou Christie | 3.2 | 2.8 | 3.0 | 153 | |
| The Quite Possible Dream | The Impossible Dream | Man of La Mancha / Richard Kiley | 4.5 | 3.1 | 4.4 | 143 | |
| World Without Pitney | Town Without Pity | Gene Pitney | 3.8 | 3.4 | 3.7 | 188 | |
| When Will I Feel Well Again? | When Will I See You Again? | Three Degrees | 3.1 | 3.0 | 3.1 | 226 | |
| Only Stu Can Break Wind (Fart) | Only Love Can Break A Heart | Gene Pitney | 3.9 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 149 | |
| Rubber Ball | Rubber Ball | Bobby Vee / Gene Pitney | 4.4 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 193 | |
| My Shell | Michelle | The Beatles | 4.7 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 213 | |
| The Man Who Dropped Liberty's Ballots (Pitney Part IV) | The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance | Gene Pitney | 4.1 | 4.0 | 3.9 | 188 | |
| He's A Turtle (Gene Pitney Tribute Part V) | He's A Rebel | The Crystals / Gene Pitney | 3.5 | 3.2 | 3.5 | 139 | |
| Got A Tampon, Please? | Take A Chance On Me | Abba | 4.2 | 3.9 | 4.0 | 1016 | |
| I'm Gonna Write My Life Away (Pitney Part VI) | (I Wanna) Love My Life Away | Gene Pitney | 2.5 | 1.0 | 1.5 | 130 | |
| Crazy Together (Personal Version) | Happy Together | The Turtles | 4.8 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 145 | |
| Footnotes (This Song Has None) | Footsteps | Steve Lawrence | 4.2 | 4.0 | 3.9 | 134 | |
| My SBD's Strong (Fart VI of Gene Pitney Tribute) | I'm Gonna Be Strong | Gene Pitney | 4.3 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 124 | |
| 24 Hours Of Bushwah (Pitney Tribute Part VIII) | 24 Hours From Tulsa | Gene Pitney | 3.7 | 3.4 | 3.4 | 234 | |
| Whip-Chained Melody | Unchained Melody | The Righteous Brothers | 4.4 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 159 | |
| Peckah (Aussie Pronunciation) | Mecca | Gene Pitney | 4.8 | 4.6 | 4.4 | 194 | |
| Bats In His Belfry | Cat's In The Cradle | Harry Chapin | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 137 | |
| Nighters In The Strange | Strangers In The Night | Frank Sinatra | 4.8 | 4.5 | 4.7 | 123 | |
| Pat Adagio's Cream | The Impossible Dream | Man of La Mancha / Richard Kiley | 5.0 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 119 | |
| Hyperlink | Yesterday | The Beatles | 4.9 | 4.7 | 4.8 | 137 | |
| All Alone: Let Fly | All Alone Am I | Brenda Lee | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.7 | 143 | |
| Burn A Debt | Bernadette | The Four Tops | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 164 | |
| Pishing and Moping | Wishing And Hoping | Dusty Springfield | 4.9 | 4.8 | 4.9 | 306 | |
| Wasting Away Again In Tommyturtleville | Margaritaville | Jimmy Buffet | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 196 | |
| I'll Always Be A Fan Of Rand (WARNING: Very Geeky) | I'll Never Fall In Love Again | Dionne Warwick | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 168 | |
| Dee Range, Well... | Teen Angel | Mark Dinning | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 157 | |
| A Bio, Please | Beyond the Sea | Bobby Darin | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 139 | |
| Lipstick On Your Zipper | Lipstick On Your Collar | Connie Francis | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 280 | |
| Laugh, Laugh (Instead Of Cry) | Laugh Laugh | The Beau Brummels | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 151 | |
| Shriek Softly, Love (We're In A Public Place) | The Godfather Love Theme (Speak Softly, Love) | Al Martino / Andy Williams | 4.9 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 441 | |
| Rip One In My Sleep | Strangers In The Night | Frank Sinatra | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 157 | |
| My Sister | Maria | West Side Story/Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.8 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 169 | |
| My Son, He Fights Over The Ocean | My Bonnie | The Beatles / Traditional | 4.7 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 176 | |
| Parody 100 | Some Enchanted Evening | South Pacific/Rogers and Hammerstein | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 157 | |
| PMS (The Author, Not The Syndrome) | Do Re Mi | Julie Andrews / Sound of Music | 5.0 | 5.0 | 4.9 | 242 | |
| Let's Fight (AmIRight-Site Story) | Tonight (West Side Story) | Bernstein / Sondheim | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 154 | |
| (I Can't Work This) Da*n Contraption | (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction | The Rolling Stones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 151 | |
| Shi'ite Christmas | White Christmas | Bing Crosby | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 160 | |
| Try to Remember (Duke University Assault Case) | Try To Remember | Tom Jones/The Fantasticks | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 163 | |
| I Believe (But I'm A Cynic) | I Believe | Frankie Laine | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 169 | |
| Old Lays Mined | Auld Lang Syne | Traditional | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 142 | |
| My Fave Risque' Things | My Favorite Things | Julie Andrews | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 277 | |
| All You Need Is Cash | All You Need Is Love | The Beatles | 5.0 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 359 | |
| Punctuate | Yesterday | The Beatles | 5.0 | 4.9 | 5.0 | 233 | |
| To Agrimorfee | The Sound Of Silence | Simon and Garfunkel | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 134 | |
| Spidermanlovesmarijuanaeverybodyknowsit | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Julie Andrews | 4.8 | 5.0 | 4.9 | 170 | |
| Goose Her On The Sly In Thigh Mound | Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 166 | |
| Spider-Man And Marijuana: Better Explanation | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Julie Andrews | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 175 | |
| Copping A Feel On Heather | Strawberry Fields Forever | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 129 | |
| Smears On My Pillow | Tears On My Pillow | Little Anthony And The Imperials | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 142 | |
| The Star-Spangled Banner | (Last Night) I Didn't Get To Sleep At All | The Fifth Dimension | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 162 | |
| (Last Night) I Didn't Get To Sleep At All | The Star-Spangled Banner | Francis Scott Key | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 185 | |
| Gee, Webmaster Chucky | Gee, Officer Krupke | West Side Story/Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 182 | |
| Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind? (S&M) | Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind? | The Lovin' Spoonful | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 193 | |
| You Don't Blow Me | You Don't Know Me | Eddy Arnold / Ray Charles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 726 | |
| Tokusou Blessranger | Away in a Manger | Traditional | 4.0 | 4.0 | 4.0 | 159 | |
| Say A Prayer For Buddy Holly (2007) | Deck The Halls | Traditional | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 167 | |
| Erections In Old Men Imperiled | The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald | Gordon Lightfoot | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 248 | |
| Annie Hammond Peas | Bette Davis Eyes | Jackie DeShannon / Kim Carnes | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 124 | |
| I'm Britain, Britain Great, I Am | I'm Henry, The Eighth, I Am | Herman's Hermits | 4.6 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 408 | |
| Itty Bitty Ti**y One | Little Bitty Pretty One | Thurston Harris | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 255 | |
| I Should Have Known Better | I Should Have Known Better | The Beatles | 4.4 | 3.8 | 3.8 | 135 | |
| Gonna Be Sick Till It's Through (POTUS Campaign) | I Get A Kick Out Of You | Cole Porter | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 201 | |
| GOP's Sickening, Too | I Get A Kick Out Of You | Cole Porter | 3.0 | 3.0 | 3.0 | 213 | |
| Hello, '08, Good-bye Bush | Hello, Heartache, Good-bye Love | Little Peggy March | 2.1 | 2.1 | 2.1 | 233 | |
| Barry, Barry (John, Not Bonds) | Cherry, Cherry | Neil Diamond | 5.0 | 4.9 | 5.0 | 222 | |
| A Shepherd Am I | American Pie | Don McLean | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 298 | |
| Bust Op | Bus Stop | The Hollies | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 215 | |
| Sheep: Care, Ovine | Sweet Caroline | Neil Diamond | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 228 | |
| Let T*t Be | Let It Be | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 194 | |
| Mary Jane | Penny Lane | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 192 | |
| Cherry Will Part | Cherry Hill Park | Billy Joe Royal | 4.6 | 4.4 | 4.4 | 220 | |
| The Ten Commandments | My Favorite Things | Julie Andrews | 3.2 | 3.1 | 3.1 | 367 | |
| Sheep Love You | She Loves You | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 238 | |
| I Fought The Dogs (But The Law Won) | I Fought The Law | Bobby Fuller Four | 4.4 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 252 | |
| You've Got To Hide Your Muff Away | You've Got To Hide Your Love Away | The Beatles | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 196 | |
| Where Did Man Begin? (Creation / Evolution) | Where Do I Begin? (Theme from "Love Story") | Andy Williams | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 205 | |
| Get A Life | Lone Ranger Theme / William Tell Overture | Gioacchino Rossini | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 447 | |
| The Wonderbra | The Wanderer | Dion | 5.0 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 299 | |
| Art And Pole | Heart And Soul | The Cleftones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 177 | |
| Juice The Knife | Mac The Knife | Bobby Darin | 4.6 | 4.8 | 4.7 | 264 | |
| I Lie With Sheeps Tonight | The Lion Sleeps Tonight | The Tokens | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 329 | |
| Fartin' Hole | Heart And Soul | The Cleftones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 173 | |
| Don't Hang Down | Don't Hang Up | The Orlons | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 226 | |
| Who Put The "Blam" In The Ramadan Of Islam? | Who Put The Bomp? | Barry Mann | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 485 | |
| Math-y Man | Handy Man | Jimmie Jones / James Taylor | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 205 | |
| Wart On Soul (OJ, Vick, Cheney, Craig, Etc.) | Heart And Soul | The Cleftones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 163 | |
| Techno-Mire (Re-Do of Tenacious Lee 'Tech Studies' | Ring Of Fire | Johnny Cash | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 173 | |
| Those Dudes Were Tased (Campus Cop Drinking Song) | Those Were The Days | Mary Hopkin | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 434 | |
| Back In The Ewe A*s, Us Are | Back In The U.S.S.R. | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 216 | |
| (Kristof) Robertson | Galveston | Glen Campbell | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 238 | |
| Muff, No Access: Rag On | Puff, The Magic Dragon | Peter, Paul, and Mary | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 253 | |
| Shock-A-Guy, Maybe | Rock-A-Bye, Baby | Traditional | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 179 | |
| This Girl Is A Human Cow | This Girl Is A Woman Now | Gary Puckett & The Union Gap | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 586 | |
| Where Have All The Writers Gone? | Where Have All The Flowers Gone? | Pete Seeger | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 275 | |
| Have You Got Bleating On Your Mind? | Woman, Woman | Gary Puckett & The Union Gap | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 191 | |
| Is AmIRight The Model Of A Boomer Humor URL? | The Major-General's Song | Gilbert & Sullivan | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 455 | |
| Girl On Girl | White On White | Danny Williams | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 192 | |
| The Wonder Of Me | The Wonder Of You | Ray Peterson / Elvis Presley | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 183 | |
| Fart Saves A Man Expensive Ring | Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing | The Four Aces | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 185 | |
| I'm On the Outside (Looking In) | I'm On the Outside (Looking In) | Little Anthony and the Imperials | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 780 | |
| Parody On The Brain | Rhapsody In The Rain | Lou Christie | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 176 | |
| Mart And Bowl | Heart And Soul | The Cleftones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 180 | |
| The Wonderful Jew | The Wonder Of You | Ray Peterson / Elvis Presley | 5.0 | 4.8 | 5.0 | 219 | |
| Who And Whom (Usage Guide) | Yesterday | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 310 | |
| The Wonder Of Ewe | The Wonder Of You | Ray Peterson / Elvis Presley | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 170 | |
| Fewer / Less (Usage Guide) | Yesterday | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 258 | |
| The Blunder In Loo (Sen. Larry Craig) | The Wonder Of You | Ray Peterson / Elvis Presley | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 206 | |
| All I Foul Is The Air That You Breathe | The Air That I Breathe | The Hollies | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 319 | |
| Larry Craig Knowing Ewe | Knowing Me, Knowing You | ABBA | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 234 | |
| Is Your Purse A Gun Holder (Or On Your Period?) | Put Your Head On My Shoulder | Paul Anka | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 395 | |
| 404 | Yesterday | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 189 | |
| Bind And Tie Her Tight | Blinded By The Light | Manfred Mann's Earth Band | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 595 | |
| AmIRighters | Little Children | Billy J. Kramer with The Dakotas | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 196 | |
| Tuna Taco | Desperado | Eagles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 531 | |
| My Song Was Banned | Stand By Your Man | Tammy Wynette | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 236 | |
| DiRito | Maria | West Side Story / Bernstein/Sondheim | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 195 | |
| There's Intercourse In Southern Pennsylvania | It Never Rains In Southern California | Albert Hammond | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 243 | |
| Soprano Man | Piano Man | Billy Joel | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 376 | |
| Almost Heaven, South Australia | Take Me Home, Country Roads | John Denver | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 427 | |
| Down Under, Love You (Australia Salute, Part II) | The Wonder Of You | Ray Peterson / Elvis Presley | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 414 | |
| Losing (Don't Know Why) Your Hymen? | Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds | The Beatles | 4.8 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 572 | |
| Woman In Mall | Woman In Love | Barbra Streisand | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 261 | |
| Corleone's Guy Is Hyman (Roth) | Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 309 | |
| Uruguay | Yesterday | The Beatles | 5.0 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 205 | |
| Just Assassination (Winning The Race For Me) | Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) | The Temptations | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 319 | |
| B'rack's Nuts Roasting: Jackson Opens Fire | Xmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire) | Nat King Cole | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 241 | |
| Palin, Palin | Sailing, Sailing (Over The Bounding Main) | Traditional | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.2 | 434 | |
| Palin's Melody | Unchained Melody | The Righteous Brothers | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 236 | |
| God Bless The Governor | God Bless America | Irving Berlin / Kate Smith | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 157 | |
| Palin, I'm Impalin' | Rawhide | Frankie Laine | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 183 | |
| New Star, Palin: Fan, Her | The Star-Spangled Banner | Francis Scott Key | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 189 | |
| Ms. Sarah P. The Beautiful (The *Last* One, I Promise) | America The Beautiful | Katharine Lee Bates | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 179 | |
| Parody 200 | Torn Between Two Lovers | Mary McGregor | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 204 | |
| If I Gave My Vote To You (Non-Partisan Song) | If I Fell | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 157 | |
| VP: A Hot VP, Or Indigestion? | To Be, Or Not To Be | William Shakespeare: Hamlet | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 194 | |
| I Am Barack | I Am A Rock | Simon & Garfunkel | 4.9 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 811 | |
| Love To Bend Her | Love Me Tender | Elvis Presley | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 163 | |
| Bush, We Will Miss | Sealed With A Kiss | Brian Hyland | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 203 | |
| Release Me (Scooter Libby) | Release Me | Engelbert Humperdinck | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 201 | |
| It's About Crime (Lisa Nowak) | It's About Time (TV theme song) | Gerald Fried and Sherwood Schwartz | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 183 | |
| Shoes Fly; Don't Bother Me | Shoo Fly (Don't Bother Me) | Traditional | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 260 | |
| Shy And Tight | Silent Night | Joseph Mohr and Franz Xavier Gruber | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 172 | |
| Shouldn't It Be Hillary? | Wouldn't It Be Loverly? | My Fair Lady: Lerner/Lowe | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 125 | |
| Smoke Gets In Your Thighs | Smoke Gets In Your Eyes | The Platters | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 133 | |
| Hillary (2008 Presidential Primary Race) | Tammy | Debbie Reynolds | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 133 | |
| I Picked A Girl (John McCain) | I Kissed A Girl | Katie Perry | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 223 | |
| Jiggle Sells | Jingle Bells | James Lord Pierpont | 5.0 | 4.9 | 5.0 | 157 | |
| I'm Not Gay | Yesterday | The Beatles | 4.7 | 4.8 | 4.8 | 240 | |
| Wouldn't Peace Be Brotherly? | Wouldn't It Be Loverly? | My Fair Lady | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 128 | |
| 'Bama's Guy | Bobby's Girl | Marcie Blaine | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 130 | |
| Born To Be Styled (John Edwards) | Born To Be Wild | Steppenwolf | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 160 | |
| Music All Died (Buddy Holly 50th Anniversary Tribute) | Ticket To Ride | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 244 | |
| When The Bailout Starts Pouring From Those Guys | When The Lovelight Starts Shining Through His Eyes | The Supremes | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 143 | |
| H-M-O(y)-Vay | Y.M.C.A | Village People | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 201 | |
| Trillion Granted; Heaving | Some Enchanted Evening | South Pacific / Rogers and Hammerstein | 4.9 | 5.0 | 4.9 | 121 | |
| I Am The Lay | Y.M.C.A. | Village People | 4.6 | 5.0 | 4.8 | 237 | |
| Ewe: "Don't Clone Me!" | You Don't Own Me | Lesley Gore | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 165 | |
| Grok Me, Or Disagree With My Sub-Jest-ion? | To Be, Or Not To Be | William Shakespeare: Hamlet | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 135 | |
| Poon Giver | Moon River | Andy Williams | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 156 | |
| Stranger In The Light | Strangers In The Night | Frank Sinatra | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 182 | |
| Burnout! | Rawhide! | Frankie Laine | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 98 | |
| TJC | Yesterday | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 119 | |
| I Say, To H*ll With You | I Put a Spell on You | Screamin' Jay Hawkins | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 112 | |
| I'd Not Do Well v. You (JAB) | I Put A Spell On You | Screamin' Jay Hawkins | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 108 | |
| A Juvie Kind Of Love | A Groovy Kind Of Love | The Mindbenders | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 147 | |
| Fart-break Hotel, Peeh-Yew! | I Put a Spell on You | Screamin' Jay Hawkins | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 128 | |
| I Had Too Much Ice Cream (Last Night) | I Had Too Much to Dream (Last Night) | The Electric Prunes | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 102 | |
| Who Put The Prod To Sir Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? | Who Put the Bomp? | Barry Mann | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 179 | |
| Ahmadinejad | Strangers In The Night | Frank Sinatra | 4.8 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 178 | |
| Iran's The Very Model Of 'Salaam' Islamic Tolerance | I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General | Gilbert & Sullivan | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 248 | |
| The End Of The World (Swine-Flu Style) | The End Of The World | Skeeter Davis | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 242 | |
| Double Shot Of Amphetamine | Double Shot Of My Baby's Love | The Swingin' Medallions | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 173 | |
| That's Mark Scotti | That's Amore | Dean Martin | 4.2 | 4.2 | 4.2 | 124 | |
| Life Ain't Easy With A High IQ | A Boy Named Sue | Johnny Cash | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.7 | 212 | |
| Thank God It's Friday | My Way | Frank Sinatra | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 153 | |
| Do Not Forsake Us, B. Obama (Politically Neutral) | High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin') | Tex Ritter / Frankie Laine | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 134 | |
| A Blighter Maid To Nail | A Whiter Shade Of Pale | Procol Harum | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 149 | |
| Patches (Microsoft® Version) | Patches | Dickey Lee | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 205 | |
| Snatches | Patches | Dickey Lee | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 129 | |
| No Bra, Eh? | Volare (Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu) | Domenico Modugno | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 182 | |
| Scratches | Patches | Dickey Lee | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 114 | |
| Thrilling Me Hard-ly With Her Thong | Killing Me Softly With His Song | Roberta Flack | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 186 | |
| My Disfavored Things (U.S. Left / Right Wings) | My Favorite Things | Julie Andrews | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 279 | |
| Both Sides Now (US Left- And Right-Wing Follow-Up) | Both Sides Now | Judy Collins | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 129 | |
| (Jim) Rotondo | White Rabbit | Jefferson Airplane | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 102 | |
| Cherries | Cherish | The Association | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 113 | |
| TT To TJC: What Fine Skull Session! | To Be, Or Not To Be | William Shakespeare / Hamlet | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 151 | |
| Sotomayor (English Version) (US Supreme Court) | Cara Mia | Jay and The Americans | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 164 | |
| Sotomayor (In Spanish, with translation) (US Supreme Court) | Cara Mia | Jay and The Americans | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 188 | |
| I Only Want To Sleep With You | I Only Want To Be With You | Dusty Springfield | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 184 | |
| Not Sick! Good News Spread, And It's Caroled | The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald | Gordon Lightfoot | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 118 | |
| Hey, Bong Swimmer (Michael Phelps) | Big Spender | Peggy Lee | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 165 | |
| Swimmer Wins Oftly, Hitting Bong (Michael Phelps) | Killing Me Softly With His Song | Roberta Flack | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 159 | |
| All You Bleed Is Blood (Monthly Version) | All You Need Is Love | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 134 | |
| America (Sotomayor) | America | West Side Story/Bernstein/Sondheim | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 126 | |
| Hey, Left-Winger (Sotomayor / Obama) | Big Spender | Peggy Lee | 4.7 | 4.7 | 4.8 | 128 | |
| The First Time Ever I Saw Your Place | The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face | Roberta Flack | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 92 | |
| Porn On My Puter | Tears On My Pillow | Little Anthony and the Imperials | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 106 | |
| 'Bama's Little Helper (Joe Biden) | Mother's Little Helper | The Rolling Stones | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 100 | |
| Please Vista™ Please (Microsoft®) | Please Mr. Please | Olivia Newton-John | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 104 | |
| The First Time Ever I Saw Your Lace | The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face | Roberta Flack | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 94 | |
| The First Time Ever I Wore Your Lace | The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face | Roberta Flack | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 118 | |
| (Chump) Change You Will Be-Leavin' (Us) [health care plan] | I Believe | Frankie Laine | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 118 | |
| Dr. Seuss Replies To TJC | Multiple Books by Dr. Seuss | Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Giesel) | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 131 | |
| Imagine | Imagine | John Lennon | 4.5 | 4.5 | 4.5 | 108 | |
| God Only Knows What I'd Be Without Ewe | God Only Knows | The Beach Boys | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 102 | |
| Pelagic | Imagine | John Lennon | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 87 | |
| In Vagin' | Imagine | John Lennon | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 112 | |
| Riff Three Times (On The Same Song, 'Cause It's Fun To) | Knock Three Times | Tony Orlando and Dawn | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 94 | |
| Schtuppin' Ewe All Day | Surfin' USA | The Beach Boys | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 104 | |
| I'm Badgin' (Henry Louis Gates) | Imagine | John Lennon | 5.0 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 107 | |
| I'm Henry Louis Gates, I Am | I'm Henry, The Eighth, I Am | Herman's Hermits | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 117 | |
| I Lamb... I Said (a/k/a) A Lamb In Bed | I Am... I Said | Neil Diamond | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 87 | |
| I Had Too Much Caffeine (Last Night) | I Had Too Much To Dream (Last Night) | The Electric Prunes | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 118 | |
| What Child Is This? (WARNING: Highly Irreverent) | What Child Is This? | William Chatterton Dix | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 107 | |
| I Am A Merry Maiden And An English-Major Fiddlegirl | I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General | Gilbert & Sullivan | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 146 | |
| Draggin' Behind | Draggin' The Line | Tommy James | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 94 | |
| Anyone Who Smelled A Fart | Anyone Who Had A Heart | Dionne Warwick | 4.3 | 4.3 | 4.3 | 78 | |
| It's Statutory Time I'm Servin' | High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin') | Frankie Laine / Tex Ritter | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 73 | |
| Budweiser Rapacity | Bohemian Rhapsody | Queen | 4.4 | 5.0 | 4.8 | 130 | |
| Of Lovers: Compare Two | A Lover's Concerto / Minuet In G Major | The Toys / Johann Sebastian Bach/Christian Petzold | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 95 | |
| Tell Laura I Dunked Her | Tell Laura I Love Her | Ray Peterson | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 113 | |
| B'rack Me Gently | Rock Me Gently | Andy Kim | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 103 | |
| Snaggin' What's Mine (The Current Administration) | Draggin' The Line | Tommy James | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 95 | |
| I Am Binary-Modal, Sexa-Octal Hexadecimal | I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General | Gilbert & Sullivan | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 171 | |
| Out Of Vodka | Frère Jacques | Traditional (French) | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 161 | |
| The Blight From Hell: Reign From Last November | It Might As Well Rain Until September | Carole King | 4.9 | 4.4 | 4.6 | 66 | |
| Music To Watch Girls Strip | Music to Watch Girls By | Andy Williams | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 96 | |
| Norma Jeane | Maybellene | Chuck Berry | 4.8 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 70 | |
| Guess I'm An Old Fogey (The "F-Word" Song) | On Top Of Old Smokey | Traditional | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 113 | |
| Mrs. Brown, She's Underage, Your Daughter | Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Daughter | Herman's Hermits | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 82 | |
| Turtle | Ringo | Lorne Greene | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 85 | |
| What Word Through Yonder Comment Makes? | Romeo and Juliet: The Balcony Scene | William Shakespeare | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 155 | |
| (Three) Hundred Songs | Sixteen Tons | Tennessee Ernie Ford | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 115 | |
| The Launch Of Space Shuttle Discovery | Romeo and Juliet: The Balcony Scene | William Shakespeare | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 85 | |
| FG, Or Not FG: Ask Her Suggestion? | To Be, Or Not To Be | William Shakespeare: Hamlet | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 105 | |
| Manila | Maria | West Side Story: Bernstein / Sondheim | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 106 | |
| Safe Chat, Please (*Serious*) | Please Please Me | The Beatles | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 90 | |
| I'd Love To Write With Each Of You | I Only Want To Be With You | Dusty Springfield | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 108 | |
| You're Filled Up With Menses | Annie's Song | John Denver | 4.6 | 4.6 | 4.6 | 90 | |
| Men, I'm Just A Horny Little Girl | In My Little Corner Of The World | Anita Bryant | 4.8 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 182 | |
| Save The Last Draft For Me | Save The Last Dance For Me | The Drifters | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 88 | |
| Savvy, Very, Man (Blackjack21 theme song) | Solitary Man | Neil Diamond | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 89 | |
| Collaboration | Anticipation | Carly Simon | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 85 | |
| Metaphorsbwithu | Some Enchanted Evening | South Pacific: Rogers and Hammerstein | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 68 | |
| My Way | My Way | Frank Sinatra | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 127 | |
| Nan-cy, What Rot: Nan-Cy (Pelosi) | To Be, Or Not To Be | William Shakespeare: Hamlet | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 105 | |
| Tommy's Song | Annie's Song | John Denver | 4.9 | 4.9 | 4.9 | 101 | |
| Till There Was You | Till There Was You | The Music Man: Meredith Wilson | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 84 | |
| Wonderdong | 'Underdog' Theme Song | C. Stover, W. Biggers, T. Covington, J. Harris | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 69 | |
| Seizin' Love: First One (Teasin's Just Begun) | Seasons In The Sun | Terry Jacks | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 80 | |
| Don't Miss Our Post, Man! | Please, Mr. Postman | The Marvelletes | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 94 | |
| Microsoftâ„¢ Is Suing Me Because I Dissed On Vistaâ„¢ | Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious | Julie Andrews | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 190 | |
| Orgy Girl (Not What You Think -- SFW) | Georgy Girl | The Seekers | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 94 | |
| Anticipation | Anticipation | Carly Simon | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 72 | |
| Overture! (Fiddlegirl-Tommy Turtle Big Project) | The Bugs Bunny Overture (This Is It!) | Jerry Livingston and Mack David | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 91 | |
| You're My Girl | You're My World | Cilla Black | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 91 | |
| Baby, I'm Yours | Baby, I'm Yours | Barbara Lewis | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 86 | |
| Strange Words Come To Light (Ahmadinejad Is Jewish!) | Strangers In The Night | Frank Sinatra | 5.0 | 5.0 | 5.0 | 102 | |
| ACORN's The Borrower, Screwing Lenders, See? | Neither A Borrower, Nor A Lender Be | William Shakespeare: Hamlet (Lord Polonius) | 5.0 | 4.4 | 4.8 | 98 |
