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Song Parodies -> "'Bama's Little Helper (Joe Biden)"

Original Song Title:

"Mother's Little Helper"

Original Performer:

The Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"'Bama's Little Helper (Joe Biden)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Trivia: OS was said by some to be about the tranquilizer Valium™, the most (over-)prescribed drug in the US from 1969 to 1982. Some others claimed OS was about Nembutal, a barbiturate sedative, which was also yellow, and much more toxic - the ref at the end of TOS to "overdose". TT votes Valium (alliteration aside): TOS line: "Outside the door/She took four more". Four Nembutals wouldn't "calm you down", they'd knock you out cold. The parody works either way, though. :)

OS lyrics here. Original performance video here. The interview finishes, and the song starts, at 0:46.

What a drag it is, he picked Joe!

WTF did Biden say?
Made another gaffe today
'Bama needs something to help to calm this clown
Maybe mentally, Joe's ill
In his drink, they slip a pill
And Obama feels some shelter
Thanks to yellow Biden helper
And it gets him through his day
Sweating not, "What will Joe say?"

Lets his ignorance display
Shouldn't let his mouth go play
Speaking fresh words, though his brain, behind, does lag
So he makes a big mistake;
How Obama's head must ache!
They should weld mouth closed wtih smelter,
Wallop whopping whopper whelper
And two pills in Joe's café
Help Obama's fears, allay

Biden, please! Take more of these!
You're such a bore! You talk; we snore!:

How I wish that Joe'd catch a cold!

Cable news reruns all day
E'vry misstep, they replay
As his brains depreciate, he should be fired
Since Joe Biden's in this bind,
They should tranquilize his mind
And turn off that pesky yelper
With Obama's little helper
Four should shut him up real tight
Help to minimzie O's plight

Biden, please! Your tongue should seize
Your speech: abhor; Your wisdom: poor

Hits a snag eact time he gets bold!

As Obama's hair turns gray:
"NOW what did that mother say?!"
"Joe,' implores: Ignores, pours hardcore roars galore
Take a dozen or a gross
And we'll all be less morose
In '12: running, not; don't swelter
To be Bama's little helper
"STFU; go away!":
Hear O, dizzy, sighing, pray


café = coffee (Sp.) Valium® F. Hoffmann-La Roche Ltd. Nembutal (pentobarbital), invented in 1928, now apparently in the public domain. All else © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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alvin - July 01, 2009 - Report this comment
hilarious the OS too..pills ?....really ?...always thought the OS was about mom's MAID....heh heh heh
Mark Scotti - July 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Great one, Tom!! Always "shell shocked" at what comes out of that man's mouth. Man, is he food fo fodder, and i have fed on it before...
L.D. Obblo - July 01, 2009 - Report this comment
If you've ever seen the "Stand up, Joe!" videotape, you know that Biden can be an absolute moron. Excellent flow and wording!
Timmy1000 - July 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Nicely written TT - echoes thoughts a lot of have about Joe. Maybe Obama picked him, so that he would look so much better to constituents compared to Joe.
Biden-Thyme - July 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderful lyrics and OS selection.., aBsOlutely perfect for the BOcassion--this one practically sings itself!
Tommy Turtle - July 01, 2009 - Report this comment
alvin: four more maids? lol :) thanks for v/c, alvin.

Mark Scotti: Thanks for v/c, and will trade ya plugs:
in which TT lamented the loss of comedic material from W's departure, but reassured us all that Biden would compensate. How propheTTic, huh? :-)

L. D. Obblo: Missed it! Where can one find it -- and do they still make videotapes these days? Good thing I never threw away the ol' VCR. :) Thanks for v/c, and devilish nick you have there!

Timmy1000: I think a lot of peeps thought the same thing about George H (the First) picking Dan Quayle.... also, it safeguards Obama more than the Secret Service ever could. Who would harm O, knowing that Joe would be President? (and San Fran Nan right behind?) LOL. ... thanks for v/c, T1K.

Biden-Thyme: Heavenly shades of night are falling at your kind comments!
blackjack21 - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Wallop whopping whopper whelper? Now that's a line! 555
Tommy Turtle - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
blackjack21: thanks for catching that! ... and for vote and comment!
Fiddlegirl - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Inspired! And seconding BJ21's comment above... "whew"! BTW... how 'bout a take on Carl Smith's "Hey Joe"?
Tommy Turtle - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl: Always reluctant to do an OS I DK. Saw the lyrics, and could prob. find a video, but it's not the same as actually grokking the OS. Great idea, but I've had enough of Biden, both listening to him and writing about him :) (not gonna plug the other parodies with refs to him). So it's all yours -- do your wurst, as they say in Germany. :)

Thanks for following the link and for the nice v/c. Oh, hell, one more plug, but no obligation (unlike the grammarodies), OK?
John Jenkins - December 05, 2011 - Report this comment
As Joe Biden defined the #1 issue facing the middle class - a 3-letter word - JOBS, I will us a 4-letter word to describe your parody - GREAT!
Tommy Turtle - December 06, 2011 - Report this comment
John Jenkins: I will use two 5-letter words in response: ROFL! -- and TUVM!

Peregrin - August 09, 2012 - Report this comment
5s for simply parodying what is probably my fave Stones song :)

To quote Craig Ferguson (I like him, funny guy): "Sir Paul McCartney played at the White House last night. He dedicated the Beatles song 'Michelle' to the First Lady. Isn't that lovely? And then for Joe Biden, he played 'Fool on the Hill.'" LOL
Tommy Turtle - August 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Always loved TOS, too, but alas, now finding out indeed "What a drag it is getting old". ;-(

ROFLMAO!!! @ Biden theme song!!!
... and dang, you had to go and mention "Michelle", which took the noob Turtle almost three months to find the obvious title switch (for him), as well as to start a self-trend that spurred Johnny D.'s,
    "I think you just passed John A. Barry to take the lead in scholarly supplementary parody exposition" and Stu to exclaim,
    "holy toledo - I've never seen footnotes to footnotes before!" -- a habit that stuck forever, to the dismay of many. ;)

Thanks for following the link here, and since you and I can pretend that you never saw this reply; I can take no offense if you've had more than your fill of link-following already. ;-D ... Thanks for v/c!
Brock O'Brahma - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
WiTTicisms galore! Also, this parody stands the test of time as Joe is still out there, really out there.
Tommy Turtle - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Brock O'Brahma: "really out there", indeed! ;) Thanks for catching that this was written three years ago.
There had been some speculation that Joe might be dumped from the 2012 ticket, with equal speculation that he had succeeded overwhelmingly in his sole purpose: to make BO look smarter by comparison. ;-D Thanks for the visit, read, v/c!

p.s. No obligation, "ever", but there's more Biden-bashing, including his admiration for "President" FDR supposedly addressing the nation on TV in 1929, when FDR wasn't yet POTUS, and the US public did not have television sets, plus external links to more collections of Biden's Gaffe-arama, here:
Patrick - February 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Four years haven't changed Biden very much. i hadn't heard about Roosevelt's 1929 TV fireside chat. If Obama doesn't decide to issue an executive order declaring himself President for Life, Biden has an excellent future as a public school history teacher. Obama probably has enough pull with the teacher's union to get him a position in Chicago. The first TV broadcast in 1929 was a low resolution image of a statue of Felix the Cat. A creature of somewhat higher resolution than the current VP.
Tommy Turtle - April 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick, sorry I missed your comment. Funny, and (sadly) true. Loved the last line!

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