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Song Parodies -> "Please, Mr. Postman"

Original Song Title:

"Please Mr. Please"

Original Performer:

Olivia Newton-John

Parody Song Title:

"Please, Mr. Postman"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

PRESENTING: A *triple smoosh*! (A to B, B to C, C to A) ... Don't remember seeing one before, but with 70,000 songs in the archives, there's no way to check. So if you've done one, or know of one, please point us to it. Otherwise, this author modestly (cough) claims another AmIRight FirsTT! (have always wanted to try a three-way, anyway;)

OS video (heightens the smoosh effect to play while read/sing): "Please Mr. Please".

Song being reworked: "Please, Mr. Postman". the *very first* #1 pop hit for the Motown label, and The Marvelettes were Motown's first successful female vocal group. (later covered by Karen Carpenter)

In the corner of my yard there stands a mailbox
Overstuffed with stuff like bills, most overdue
Lots of junk mail; here's a coupon: "Save a quarter"
Catalog from Sears for outhouse when you're through

See me cryin' ev'ry day that you pass *my* house
I've been standing here, so super-patient-ly
For that letter sayin' he's returnin' home soon
Please check your bag, and find a card for me!

Please, Mailman, please, take a look if you can
Mr. Postman, where's that letter from my bo-o-oyfriend?
Please, Mailman, please; gone so long, is my man
Will I ever hear from guy I love again?

If I had a dime for ev'ry time I've checked it
Looking for that long-lost letter he would write
I could swear I'd be the richest girl on Earth now
Or at least among all folks at AmIRight

But I guess I'm never gonna get that letter
Though since he left, he's been the one thing on my mind
You won't stop to leave some mail to make me better
Ev'ry day: an empty mailbox, I'm resigned

Please, Mailman, please, check your bag one more time
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Must be so -o- -omething
Please, Mailman, please; it would be so sublime
Just to know I'm gonna see that guy again!

What all three had in common, of course; All three titles started with "Please". (What these twoolder smooshes had in common: both were about things that happened "last night".;)

Of course, all of you sharp AIReaders noticed what was *different* abouit them, too: One from the Motown Girl Groups, one from the British Fab Four, and one from Country-Western. ;)

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
A triple header! I don't know whether to be inspired or intimidated. Smooshing two songs is a challenge. Three is really impressive. How's this for an idea, smoosh Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" with Rod Stewart's song of the same name. I heard Garrison Keillor sing "Forever Young" on his show, and when it was over I wasn't sure which one he had performed. Still can't see the parody writer column. Solution would be to move the navigation bar back to the top.
Old Man Ribber - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
(continued from the previous page)...three fives for each song and I wish there was a way to give you another fifteen for the complete larger work. At least this was the most intricate time-consuming comment I've ever! ;D
TJC - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
And now, the site's first Trifecta of Smoosh is complete--and that includes songs, fives and standing O's! Highly inVenntive, highly creative, and most importantly, highly *pleasing*!!
Andy Primus - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL @ top notes - next time you have one of those skanky/manky crack whores, just ask her to bring a friend. $20 the pair.
Mark Scotti - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
"Triple" the postage rate for the third of this prodiatical triumverate!!!
Tommy Turtle - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Patrick: Sorry, DK either song, and Rod Stewart is on my no-fly list (or "must-avoid" list), on radio and elsewhere, but thanks for the suggestion. .... No need to be intimidated. Like everything else, once you get the knack of it, it becomes easier. Only way to do that is to jump in and try! (Or have you, and I missed it?)
          I've already posted your comment for ChuckyG's awareness, as said in reply to you here:
Note that you can post your opinions yourself, without registering. It might have more impact if you did. I'm sure that by now, CG is tired of hearing from moi on this issue, so the more writers and readers who chime in, the better.
          Also, not sure what you mean by "parody writer column" -- the "Latest Entries? ... I see only two "columns": the main content, on the left 2/3 of the home page or any other, and a right-hand column, with navigation links on the home page, and links plus ads on our individual parody pages. Best shot: (pun intended) Take a screenshot of what your computer is showing, and post it at the forum thread in question. If you DK how to take screenshots, let me know. It's not at all complicated -- pretty simple, really. .... Thanks for v/c.

Old Man Ribber: (cont' from previous page) ... Thanks, and actually, uh, there *is* a way, but it would be unethical even to mention it, much less suggest it.;) .... Intricate, time-consuming comments? Look at many of TJC's previous and future - a veritable comment-master. In fact, we Hail He's Comment! (oh, T... ):-D

TJC: Highly thanking! (*musta'* been high, to have come up with this. ;) BR>
Andy Primus: "Next time"? I beg your pardon, Sire, but there has never been a previous time, and there won't be a next time, LOL ... but thanks for the suggestion. (and for the v/c, of course.)

Mark Scotti: Shhh, don't give the US Postal Service any ideas! :) Thanks for triumve-ratings and comments!
Mise en Please - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL @ "bo-o-oyfriend"... and the line about being the richest among AmIRighters. Now, if *I* had a dime for every time I'd given you 5s... :)
Tommy Turtle - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Me-So Soupy: LOL @ trio of nicks.... and if 5s only cost a dime, I'll gladly pay you for (checks bank account) .... uh, 32 more.... thanks for v/c; now, when is the food coming? ;)
Christie Marie M - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Olivia goes Marvelette! Great take on a triple-play smoosh. Love to do another one of those soon. Pleasing you with 5's! Keep on writin' on, Turtle!
Tommy Turtle - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: And pleased I be! "Love to do another" -- does that mean, *you*? Go for it, Girl! .... or me? ... in which case, might be a while, but who knows? Thanks for v/c!
Patrick - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
What I mean by four columns is Original Song, Original Author, Parody Title, Parody Author. The Parody Authors' names are covered by the Navigation Bar. When I heard Rod Stewart singing "Forever Young" (a song I really like) I thought I had heard it somewhere before, even though the melody was faster and more upbeat. Bob Dylan's "Forever Young", definitive version by Joan Baez was the obvious source. In fact, I would compare them by saying it was as though two translators had encountered the same song in another language and came up with close, but not identical renditions. Thanks for going back and looking at my "Garryowen" (The Fungus That Ate Kansas City). The original lyrics don't fit the melody all that well, and the song is rarely sung. It is one of the great instrumentals of all time, but I have yet to find a really satisfactory recording. I hope to be inspired by your three-way. I have at least one idea that actually precedes amiright.
ChuckyG - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Patrick I still don't know which page you are talking about. I know the parody author pages have some issues with overlapping, especially if the author has done Superfragelicious... the other index pages should be ok though. If you could copy the web address out of the browser and paste it here so I know EXACTLY which page it is, that'll help me find the issue. That and tell me the size of your desktop (800x600, 1024x768, etc). The side navigation has been there for years, and has been it's current size for the past six months. I also dropped the font size on a couple of the indexes to the old size, so I don't know what else could be the issue at this point.
Patrick - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
I am not a computer geek. I use one for specific functions at work and to watch this site during lunch break. Before the last week or so, when I clicked on "New Entries" I saw a display of four columns: Original Title, Original Artist, Parody Title, Parody Artist. The navigation bar was at the top of the page. This is what I call the front page or the opening page, from which I can select which parody to explore. Or, before last week, which author to click on. Now I still get the first three columns, but the parody author's names are covered by the navigation bar. I can see them slip through where there is a gap between the bar and an advertisement, so I know the information is there, just covered, or if we were on paper, pasted over. The other functions I use: search for author, title, original song, or Add a Parody still work just fine. The type is larger, easier to read, and nothing is blanked out. I don't speak computerese, I hope my explanation will let you know what I am encountering. This not being my machine, I am not allowed to alter it, even if I knew how.
Patrick - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
The "page" I'm referring to is Is this what you were asking. By the way, the overlap only occurs on today's new entries. Yesterday's page looks just fine, no overlap.
ChuckyG - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Thank you. I totally overlooked that page, and yes it's pretty dorked at the moment. I'll make it match the majority of the other index pages where the author and title names are in the same table field. That should bring it more inline with the rest of the site and have less scroll issues. I also added a show/hide navigation link at the top of every page of the site so people can more easily view the big table sections of the site.
Tommy Turtle @ ChuckyG - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
ChuckyG: I wasn't even aware that that page existed. I always just go from the home page,, and click the desired new entries. That's why I couldn't understand Patrick's issue, and suggested that he make a screenshot, discover resolution through Display Properties, (at another parody of mine where he complained), etc.

Glad that the issue was pinpointed. I did *not* notice the Show-Hide bar, from force of habit. I just don't look at much else besides the Latest Entries. *Excellent* idea. :) :) :) ... is it posted at inthe00s for those who follow that site regularly? (I don't, usually, unless I have something specific to discuss there.)
Oops - TT @ CG again - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
I *do* use that page a lot, actually, but I have it bookmarked as "Last two weeks' songs" (title of bookmark created), so DK to what Patrick was referring. Just noticed Patrick's issue, and yeah, it's very messed up -- *There are no hyperlnks in the parodies themselves*!!!

the old version of *that* page was definitely not broken, IMHO.
ChuckyG - October 14, 2010 - Report this comment
The links are/were there. I just had them on the original song instead of the parody song. Didn't even notice the originals were listed in the left most column. I've changed it around, which is sure to annoy people, but it's more inline with the front page of the site now.
Tommy Turtle - October 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Don't care about the order; just preferred that the links be on the parody - like they are on the home page, as you said. Thanks for fixing.

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