Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "The First Time Ever I Wore Your Lace"

Original Song Title:

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Roberta Flack

Parody Song Title:

"The First Time Ever I Wore Your Lace"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Written by TT's third cousin, Manny times removed, Tranny Turtle (but as in "transvestite" not "transsexual'). Doesn't do a thing for moi -- looks *much* better on the female of the species. (well, *some* of them. If you need a thong size XXL, you don't need a thong. ;-)
The first time ever I wore your lace
Slid stockings on; rose on my thi- -i -i -i -i -ighs
And my moon was a star in your garter belt
Spike heels sharp; leather, black, knee-highs, oh yeah!
Lovely lark: Mirror's nice surprise!

The first time I strapped your bra about
With felt, stuffed parts, and posed so fi- -i -i -i -i -ine
The assembling, start: gel, adaptive; furred
Chest: shaved hair, like your smooth hand and glove
Bosom there, with cleavage, stand

And the first time I wore your panties, ooh!
'Bout ripped apart, this bulge of mi- -i -i -i -i -ine
And so blue, my toy, o'erfilled its girth
Bare-a**ed, apprehend my prime, I love
Yes, at last, I pretend: you: I'm, my love

The first time ever I wore your lace; debase;
Replace; no trace!



.... and she never found out. .... not yet, anyway. :) © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Kinky 5's for this one
Mark Scotti - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
I would say, dressed to the nines, but here you can only be dressed to the fives...
Manny's Secret - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Great work, but point in case, shouldn't this brace of 'ace pace' be showcased on My Lace?
Tommy Turtle - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1000, thanks.
Mark Scotti,(lol) thanks. Manny's Secret: Good idea! :) thanks, MS. (lol initials)
AFW - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody should be done by Fred Wearing and the Pantsylvanians...another good use of the original, TT
alvin - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
a perfect fit...uh...i mean for the original lyrics
Tommy Turtle - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
AFW: (lol) thanks.
alvin (hehe) thanks.
carol brown - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment
so good it brought a smile to my face
Tommy Turtle - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
carol brown, long time, no see! nice to have you back, and esp. with a smile on your face! :) thanks for v/c and for surprise visit!
blackjack21 - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
You're killing me softly with this song. (killing me with laughter, that is) Your 3-pack of lace panties are a size 5.
carol - July 06, 2009 - Report this comment
hey Tommy thanks for the welcome back. Csme back to post 3 new parodies and to let you know that during the 4 years I have been gone, I have become an honest to goodness writer of original songs in collaboration with a singer/songwriter of over 30 years experience. We have just finished writing our 9th song together, so if you have the time, please follow the link I am providing and go check out our songs and the ones he has written on his own. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=715577&content=music
Tommy Turtle - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
blackjack21: lol comment! thanks... and while normally it's cheesy to return a compliment with a plug, you're practically begging for it :) :) so here are TT's parodies of "killing me softly"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/robertaflack15.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/robertaflack17.shtml
thanks again -- dealer has three 5's = 15, loses to your 21!

carol: you're welcome, and that's great news. will check them out - have you had any produced or aired on radio? good luck .... have written a few professional parodies myself, plus two in collab with TJC. ... sold to a producer/syndicator of comedy material to indy radio stations. mostly about 08 politics. won't list them here as there are about 7, but leave me a note here if you'd like me to point you to them. will check out your parodies too. thanks for the news!
Lifeliver - February 03, 2013 - Report this comment
555s for the title switch alone. The elongated vowels are a killer, helped by the myopic mood of the song. Lucky your cousin was able to do the 'legwork' ! I agree females definitely do it better (wear the dresses I mean, not write the parodies), but we've got some who do that pretty well too.

I also left v/c at the first of your links for 'killing me softly'. The Arnold one looked formidable too but a little out of my area. I did clock the 'Cheech and Chong' ref, though - brilliant!
Tommy Turtle - February 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Lifeliver, thanks for following along. Yes, the OS has those looooooooong vowels, and I liked using them here. Agree with comment re: look better on females, though the diff is more emphatic on what's underneath the dress. (Loooooongerie? Ouch!)

Assume that "Cheech" was the Michael Phelps tribute/diatribe, but DK the "Arnold" reference, sorry. Thanks for browsing around.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/robertaflack6.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1722