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Song Parodies -> "Ahmadinejad"

Original Song Title:

"Strangers In The Night"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

(spin-off of yesterday's "Who Put The Prod To Sir Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?", which in turn was a tribute to John A. Barry's "Face-Hair Denier".)

We know this creep'll ---
In his next Jihad,
In-no-cent people:
Kill in name of God
All: Christian, Muslim, Jew [1]

Based on what he said
This dude is rotten
"Holocaust? No dead!
"Should be forgotten"
Surely seems his head
Is filled with camel-pooh!

Middle-east, the start:
Persia's Fertile Crescent, heart:
Of once-proud nation
"Al-gorithm", "al-gebra"
And, perhaps, the pal of all:
The distillation: "al-cohol" ... [2]

Home of men quite bright
Biruni: say, "No, [3]
"Earth: 'round sun" - You're right!
E'er Galileo
Galaxy, they sight; [4]
The finite speed of light [3]

[Interlude: 1000 years of frightful backsliding]

Evolution: Darwin, beat [5]
At parody: had Arwen beat [6]

Ever since that time
Hate: overriding
Deeper in the slime
So surely sliding
Ruled now by this clod
M. Ahmadinejad!


Israel? Ain't real, Jew!
Set it on fire
Holocaust? Fake, too
A firm denier....

[Ahmadinejad fades to Hell]

[1] Mr. A. probably had no part in the attacks of 9/11, but he's been quoted as denying that they, too, ever happened. "A building collapsed..." If IIRC, somehthing like 370-odd self-identified Muslims working in the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were killed along with all the others. It ain't about religion or ideology, folks, just hate and death.

[2] Yep. "al-Most" (hehe) "all" of those "al"-things trace to Persia, not just names like Al-Qaeda and Al Jazeera. “The Compendious Book on Calculation by Completion and Balancing” was written by Muhammad ibn Musa Khwarizmi approximately 830 A.D. The term "algebra" is derived from the name of one of the basic operations with equations ("al-jabr") described in this book.

Even "al-Gore"! Yes, the term "Aryan" referred to languages of the Indo-Iranian language group, and by extension, to speakers of those languages. The term "Caucasian" (for us "white" people) comes from the Caucasus Mountains in northern Iran and the surrounding region. The word "Caucasus" derives from Caucas, the ancestor of the North Caucasians. He was the great-grandson of the Biblical Noah, whose descendants eventually emigrated to Europe, then to the New World. Fun facts!

[3] Abu Rayhan al-Biruni (974-1048) supported the heliocentric (Sun, not earth, is the center of our turf) theories proposed by India's scholars of around 500 A.D. This was over 500 years before Copernicus' theories, and about 600 years before Galileo. He was among the first, along with Ibn al-Haytham, to propose that the speed of light was in fact finite, though it seems instantaneous to our eyes.

[4] Abd al-Rahman al-Sufi (903-986) observed and named the Andromeda galaxy, the first one to be identified outside of our own.

[5] Nasir al-Din Tusi (1201-1274) developed a basic theory of evolution more than 600 years before Charles Darwin.

[6] Couldn't find a source for this (the rest came from Wikipedia; look them up; it's fascinating, esp. the article on "Science and Technology In Iran"), but those guys must have been a bundle of laughs compared to the jerks running the show now.

Why were this knowledge and these scientists ignored or suppressed in European civilization? Guess you'd have to ask the church that was running the Western show during the Dark and Middle Ages.

Why weren't we taught these things in school? Oh, I dunno... maybe a little, uh, "cultural prejudice" on *our* part? What a shame things descended to this. We could have been on the Starship Enterprise by now if all of that progress hadn't been ignored or discarded, which makes the past and current situations even more of a pity.

© 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
NOT ENOUGH FOOTNOTES! (Only kidding....) Really brilliant, TT!!!!!!
Repartee-me-yo-centric - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow! Erudite, incisive, funny and perfectly paced... hell, it even has a Barry on top!

(or should that be al-Barry?)
alvin - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
especially liked the darwin / arwen rhyme
Peter Andersson - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
We have a saying in our country about how foreign politics is always in reality homeland politics. I have no doubt that Mr A:s speech was more intended for his homeland crowd than those in the room, and I have no doubt that the walk-out was more intendend for everyone elses homefront than Mr A. He travelled to talk to the west, and I have no doubt that a lot of talkning between him and the west went on behind the scenes once these two necessary publicity stunts was out of the way. But then again, there's no comedy song material in that reality I guess.
Jim Rotondo - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Absolutely agree with Repartee-me-yo-centric, funny and perfectly paced, Sinatra's voice virtually came out of my speakers with this incredible read.
Timmy1000 - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
I see you are still on a roll with the Mr. A songs - another good one. I think he does have to play to his clerics a little.
Gari J - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
What a classy title for a great parody.
John Jenkins - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Enlightening and entertaining stuff, TT. But I think you owe camels an apology for insulting them.
Tommy Turtle - April 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Sorry -- perhaps this one l will have enough footnotes for you :) thanks for v/c, Mark!

Repartee-me-yo-centric: Nice pun on AIR's berry, bery good writer, but *somehow*, not sure he'd like the "al-Barry" app-al-(ing)-ation (whoa, ran out of pun levels there!) ... thanks for v/c, Rmyo.

alvin, thanks... too bad she (apparently) hasn't seen it. Good think her nick didn't rhyme with "Bryan" lol. (prosecutor in the Scopes trial defended by Clarence Darrow)

Peter Andersson: I have no doubt that you are entitled to your opinion. I believe the facts are that Mr. A. has spoken this line numerous times, and that the "UN World Conference Against Racism, Racial Discrimination, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance" was going to end up as a diatribe against a single country. Regardless of which country, and regardless of whether that country is "right" or "wrong", clearly the titled goals of the Conference were going to be impeded, not furthered, by Mr. A. and those supporting his views. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to relate yours.

Jim Rotondo, thanks.. too bad I have these tinny litle laptop speakers :)

Timmy1000, thanks. No question about that. Our pols play to us also. My comments to Peter A. apply here. Thanks for v/c, and this is the last time I'll dignify that individual with my time and effort, I promise.

Gari J, thanks.

John Jenkins, ROFLMAO! You're right: To all camels everywhere, please forgive me for associating you with this rabble. Thanks for (superb) c/v, John..

Three-One-One Voter: Please be kind enough to point out the pacing errors that prevented this from getting a 5-1-1, so I can avoid such mistakes in the future. Thanks for the 1-1s -- it's quite a compliment to know that I've touched someone's nerves and pushed their buttons successfully. Thanks for stopping by, and looking forward to the detailed pacing analysis.
Peter Andersson - April 25, 2009 - Report this comment
So he's spoken the line before and it was a conference set up like the one last week "outlawing" criticism against religion, so what, it's not like the UN matters to the US or the rest of the Free World anymore anyway since the millenium shift, at least not in any other aspect as a super-duper discussion club where the good guys at least can pretend to listen to the bad guys in public and actually talk to them behind closed doors and accomplish something (even if minimal) the wouldn't be able to if they staid at home. Don't you know the the saying about diplomacy being the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick? ;-)
malcolmhiggins - April 25, 2009 - Report this comment
pisses one off when some good work is voted low for either subject or political views huh Tommy? Welcome to the world of nameless, faceless spineless attacks on your work by idiots who pretend to be holier than thou and tell you what to do..They want to slience us by shouting louder as we fight for their very right to speak. I'm not a fan of the song, but if I could give "Author Effort" I'd give it a five for your work. Good pacing, and subject, but not a fan, so no vote. Great work though
Andy Primus - April 25, 2009 - Report this comment
I like it - Another very funny bash at the very unfunny dude
TT - April 25, 2009 - Report this comment
malcolm higgins: Not pissed at all. I thought my replies to Peter and to 3-1-1 were spoken in a reasonable tone of voice. Thanks for the "welcome" , but I'm waaay a veteran of the Triple-Ones Club (check my page if ya doubt it), and meant what I said -- it's a compliment to know you've hit a nerve so accurately. Thanks for the kind words.

Andy Primus, thanks.
Patrick - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Impressive parody along with a lesson in history. Today I have learned something. Wonder how Nasir al-Din Tusi's theory of evolution was received in his time. Something new to research.
Michael Pacholek - April 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Anybody who can take "Ahmadinejad" and make it a readable, recitable parody deserves a five. I tried a couple but ended up not using his name in the title. The closest I could come was "Aqualung my friend," and that didn't work, either.
Tommy Turtle - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Patrick: That *is* an interesting question, isn't it... was it better received than Darwin was in the US? .... thanks for v/c, Patrick.

Michael Pacholek: As a turtle who dives under for half an hour or an hour at a time, an aqualung is "definitely" my friend! And thanks for the kind words and vote, my friend.

ANYONE who sees this: Working on a follow-up, hopefully to be up Wed. 29 April.

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