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Song Parodies -> "Annie Hammond Peas"

Original Song Title:

"Bette Davis Eyes"

Original Performer:

Jackie DeShannon / Kim Carnes

Parody Song Title:

"Annie Hammond Peas"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Inspired by Ann Hammond's "Pea Eyed Black" and many others -- check them out by clicking the links. And, uh, Ann -- sorry for tweaking the name to the OS -- hope that was OK. OS lyrics here.
She finds the soup obscene
It's complete surprise
She doesn't like 'em green
Annie Hammond's peas: black eyes
She tells the waiter, "No dice
"I'd like a new bowl, please"
"To go with gumbo rice"
Black-eyed: Annie Hammond's peas

She's on fire --
Full of ire --
Mom nags, "Put Bounce™ in the dryer"
She's bleeeeahocious
And she thinks Walt Disney's "Small World"™ is atrocious
She wants snappy service: Lamb of Rack
Annie Hammond's peas are black

She hates s*** in her yard
She gets it on her shoe
Despises leather marred:
"Cowpeas", not "cowpies, P U!"
"Ick-ity -Yuckity-Euw!
Salad bar: not a fan
Only one food will do:
Black-eyed peas for Hammond, Ann

And she'll scold you
But uphold you
In the trib-ute in which she scrolled you
Garden: Ants reigned
And we wonder what she did to get her pants stained
"AmIRight: Wonderful Site"
Watch as Annie Hammond peas!

She writes farce-ly
"Cloves of parsley"
And I'm laughing off my arse-ly
Her mind's fertile
And she knows just what it takes to blush a Turtle
"Syl-la-bly" paces with ease
I love how Ann Hammond peas!

Gas station
Like a Penguin, Annie pees
Roaches bug her
But I plug her
And hug her
Ann and I in pod, like peas!

All Ann Hammond songs linked, excerpted, or referenced © Ann Hammond. "It's A Small World After All" ® The Walt Disney Company. Bounce ® Procter and Gamble. All else © 2007 Tommy Turtle.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
yep, count me in as an ann fan
Ann Hammond - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
You even got links to my parodies. You ever had a time where you felt saying thank you wasn't enough?
John Barry - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
A paean to "Pea"in' and others--nice job.
Red Ant - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Another fine tribute from the King of Tributes. "And I'm laughing off my arse-ly", "I love how Ann Hammond peas!"; lol.
Tommy Turtle - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
alvin rhodes, thanks.

Ann Hammond: Yes, and reading "What A Wonderful Site" yesterday was one of them.

John Barry, thaeanks much :)

Red Ant: Thanks... WTF you been?? :-) :-)
Below Average Dave - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Terrific, Annie Annie, well, looks like I don't have to surprise you, turtle beat me to it.
Meriadoc - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Uh oh! Competition. Hee hee.
Tommy Turtle - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Below Average Dave, thanks.

Meriadoc, thanks... Competition for what? ;-)
Red Ant - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
I've been around a bit, mostly editing. The "real" world has cut into my time here, but I hope that is temporary.

As we have had fun in the past discussing grammar (usually you teaching me), I must inform you that "WTF you been??" is grammatically incorrect for several reasons: 1) WTF is "what the f***", not "where the f***". 2) even if the W meant "where", the sentence is only correct as "WTF have you been??" 3) Using two question marks is redundant. =)

All in good fun, TT, and if you used "WTF U BIN, D00D??!?!??!" in a chatroom, everyone would know about what you are talking (oops, I mean "what you are talking about" ;)). You have to do better in learning chatroom grammar. =)

On an aside, my last parody was set to this OS. I'm not going to plug it since this is a tribute to Ann: you know how to find it if you're so inclined.
TT - February 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Red Ant: Thanks for the lesson in human chatroom grammar. In undersea rooms, "W" is any of the Dubyas learned in journalism class (not that Dubya; he wasn't even born then lol): Who, What, When , Where, Why, Whow. And "F", in this sentence, stands for the famous Russian lexicologist, Fakkav. So the complete translation is "Where the Fakkav you been??"

Truth: All four of your comments are 100% correct (the three numbered ones and the "about what ...)"; the ellipsis of "have" was a deliberate solecism; I thought, "Ahh, he'll never notice; and you have no idea how proud I am that you did :) :) :)
Susanna Viljanen - February 07, 2007 - Report this comment
What a nice tribute to Ann. Fives.
Tommy Turtle - February 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Susanna Viljanen, thanks.

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