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Song Parodies -> "Please Please Me"

Original Song Title:

"Please Mr. Postman"

Original Performer:

The Marvelettes

Parody Song Title:

"Please Please Me"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

PRESENTING: A *triple smoosh*! (A to B, B to C, C to A) ... Don't remember seeing one before, but with 70,000 songs in the archives, there's no way to check. So if you've done one, or know of one, please point us to it. Otherwise, this author modestly (cough) claims another AmIRight FirsTT! (have always wanted to try a three-way, anyway;)

Nice HQ OS video (heightens the smoosh effect to play while read/sing): "Please, Mr. Postman". the *very first* #1 pop hit for the Motown label, and The Marvelettes were Motown's first successful female vocal group.

(The overlaps and flip-flops between the lead singer and the backups made this difficult to write, and probably difficult to follow. Dropped the echoes completely in the last verse and in the fades, for that reason. Also why Web lyrics are way off, and had to transcribe HQ-OS from scratch. Have mercy! :)

Song being reworked: "Please Please Me".
Oh, please, listen to me, my sweet honey
No-o-o-ot - being funny

Last night, I said to - girl, no lie
Oh, Hon
A little better, I wish *you* would try
Please, please, my dear girlfriend
Always know, I try to please you
I do!
Works both ways, - so Dear, *you* must try, too!

Don't need me - to show the way
So, why must I - still have to say?
My lovey-dovey, look at me
I'm so unhappy; please bring me some glee!

We've been couple years datin', you're my best girl
I-I-I'm faithful: thee
So please try hard; there's nothin' better:
Bringin' all your lovin' home to me!

Please listen, Honey
I'm not complainin'; that's not me
Oh, no
But always rainin', cardi'log-ic'lly   [1]
Please, be my umbrella
You could make - me feel so dang good
Oh, Yeeeeeahhhhh!
If you'd sit - in my lap, as you should!

So many nights, a half-a**ed try
You saw my leers, glarin' at your thighs
If I could cop a make-out feel, Baby
Be raisin' my - regard; don't mean "maybe"!

Girl I do all the - pleasin, gee
But still, you're actin' - oh, yeah - so unreason'bly
Don't show no skin or thong
You - make me blue; drive me out of - my mind!

Just like I said it last night, don't you get it?
Oh, you gotta pet it just right
Tease? Sleaze! That's so gross, man!
Let's neck and see just how sublime, could be!
Not m*str*rb*t*! Let's begin it!
Love: in-fin-ite; Not a sin, it! Jump right in it!
'Cause you're the mo-ost, Girl!
Deliver the goodies; some poon for my woodies!

How to spin it? - Bare and grin it!
No chagrin; appease, ere I'm toast-man!
Your love: win it. Yay! I'm in it! .......

[we discretely fade away and leave them to themselves]

[1] A thousand lashes with a wet noodle. (That's why turtles have shells, heh heh! ;) But looking at OS line, "But you know there's always rain in my heart", and needing to rhyme "me", the temptation to go with "cardiologically" was irresistible. (The Debbil made me do it! The Debbil made me do it!) .... Hey, if writing isn't *fun*, what's the point? ;)

What all three had in common, of course; All three titles started with "Please". (What these twoolder smooshes had in common: both were about things that happened "last night".;)

Of course, all of you sharp AIReaders noticed what was *different* about them, too: One from the Motown Girl Groups, one from the British Fab Four, and one from Country-Western. ;)

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
(continued from previous page) of your entry. This splendid submission is like a concerto, sonata, or suite of dances - each song (or movement) is nicely complete by itself and yet part of a larger whole. Because of this, I feel compelled to give you the score of...(continued on the next page) ;D
TJC - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey! Who *but The Turtle* knew you could put Venn diagrams to music! Clearly, the intersection of *these* three 'sets' is genius--coded in base 5!
Andy Primus - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
I see you're pushing that envelope again. Quite the undertaking. Fave line = Tease? Sleaze! That's so gross, man!
Mark Scotti - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
555 Woodies!!!
Tommy Turtle - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: (cont' from previous page) ... over all three songs. (cont' in next song) :-D

TJC: Since Venn did somebody say ve couldn't? ;)

Andy Primus: TT first "pushed the envelope" in a parody called "Manila" ;) which is sooo not worth plugging. Thanks for v/c. Mark Scotti: Of course, you were using the Jan and Dean "Surf City" meaning of "woodie", right? ;-D Thanks for v/c!

Oops, left out the line break.... - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Your reply is there; it's just that the effort of keeping three songs in one pea-brain left the latter devoid of available neurons for things like line breaks. (See reply to Andy P. ) Sorry!
O Sole Trio - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Moe Towne... I think I may have gone to school with him... ["please bring me some glee"?] I *did* like the "cardiological" line, I must say. :)
Tommy Turtle - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Enrica Carusa: (LOL @ nick! :-) Only if you went to school in Detroit, you poor thing.... Thanks for "having a heart", and for the v/c. Gotta enjoy things in the moment -- "It's now or never", you know. ;-D
Christie Marie M - October 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Beatles goes Marvelettes! I also found out on YT that Beatles did a cover for this Postman OS as well. Loved both versions of the song. Mailing you 5's for this one.
Tommy Turtle - October 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: Yep, the Beatles did it, too -- decided to omit that fact for smooshing purposes, but glad you pointed it out! Thanks for v/c!
Ann Hammond - October 14, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
Tommy Turtle - October 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Ann Hammond, always a pleasure to have you stop by and v/c - thanks.

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