-> "America (Sotomayor)"
Original Song Title:
"America"
Parody Song Title:
"America (Sotomayor)"
The Lyrics
SONIA SOTOMAYOR:
Puerto Rico
You lovely island
Island my ancestors flee from
Always the US, we're going
Always, my racist Judge robes, flowing
TOMMY TURTLE:
Sotomayor
Welcome to my land
A land where we should be free from --
-- Government meddling growing
Judges with biased speeches, blowing!
Bad direction, going
Right and Left wing, crying
And my freedoms, dying
I like promotion on merit
Stuff up your pipe and just bear it!
EVERYONE:
Why not just be an American?
"Latina", she, not "American"
But Tommy T., he's American
Heritage, oui, but American [1]
SOTOMAYOR:
I am much smarter than white men
TOMMY T:
I have a butt you can bite, then
SOTOMAYOR:
Giving minorities big zoom
TOMMY T:
Merit-less country, our sure doom
EVERYONE:
Pro-motions steal, in America
Cutting a deal in America
'Bama's appeal in America?
Wounds, hardly heal in America
SOTOMAYOR:
I'll ride Mercedes to D. C.
TOMMY T.:
I'll try to stop it, so help me!
SOTOMAYOR:
I give minorities "free ride"
TOMMY T.:
'Ffirmative Med School? We've all died [2]
EVERYONE:
Immigrant goes to America
Daughter's job grows in America
Spouts biased prose in America
Bill Of Rights foes in America
SOTOMAYOR:
I'll be a big hit on TV
TOMMY T.:
Only on MSNBC
SOTOMAYOR:
Ev'ryone, my appoint-ment, hails
TOMMY T.:
Ev'ryone, 'cept us poor white males
EVERYONE:
Media roars in America
Taking what's yours in America
Give to dumb boors in America
Justice, restores not: America
SOTOMAYOR:
When I will get on Supreme Court?
TOMMY T.:
Why did your mother not a-bort?
SOTOMAYOR:
Everyone there will give big cheer
TOMMY T.:
Everyone here live in big fear
[1] Tommy's immigrant ancestors, no matter where they came from, were so grateful to find a home and a better life in the USA that they wanted very strongly to be known as "Americans", not as (fill in the blank), or "(fill in the blank)-Americans" ("hyphenated Americans). Like many others of that era, they even Anglicized their family names. No one's saying you need to do that now, or should do it, but if this country is where you make your citizenship, your home, and your career, why do you persist in identifying as being something else, or hypenated-something else? If "American" isn't good enough for you, go back to that culture of which you're so much prouder and fonder. No one will stop you, Tommy promises. ............... (The "oui" was for rhyme purposes only. Lots of countries in the family tree, but no French.)
[2] Think about it: You're being wheeled into the operating room. Would you feel comfortable knowing that the surgeon wasn't necesarily well-qualified, but got into college, medical school, internship, and residency, so that numerical quotas could be filled -- and couldn't be washed out for failure, for fear of the ensuing lawsuit? Rest easy, now...
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 11 |
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