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Song Parodies -> "(Jim) Rotondo"

Original Song Title:

"White Rabbit"

Original Performer:

Jefferson Airplane

Parody Song Title:

"(Jim) Rotondo"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Jim is one of my favorites among the newer crop of writers here, but we had a slight disagreement over the pacing of his parody of TOS. Doesn't change the first statement, so to show it wasn't personal, Jim, here is the same OS as a tribute "back at ya"! OS lyrics here.

One in-testine larger
And one in-testine small
Novocain the dentist gives you:
Won't feel anything at all
Read Rotondo
And you'll have a ball

And if you go ocean-diving
And too quickly, buddy ascends
Using a hookah, joking patter-killer [1] [2]
Has gotten case of bends
Compression tank, mends

When girls at Lowe's™ Hardware
Supply a foot of wood, or so
And you're sporting four-hour erection [3]
With a dozen broads in tow
Magic phallus!
Just watch it grow!

When cheesesteak and salami
Have gone straight to your duff
Philadelph'ya is ranked bass-ackwards
Eating pig's feet (Cough!) -- Tha's enough!
Remember, 'spite of Turtle's guff:
"Read Jim's stuff!"
"Read Jim's stuff!"

[1] "hookah" = In addition to what fellow alumnus Grace (and probably you) were thinking of, is also a surface air compressor with a long hose, enabling a diver to dispense with the SCUBA (Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) backpack. The Turtle (aside from having a large natural breath capacity, of course) prefers the latter for the freedom and deeper descents it allows for non-commercial or -military divers (140' / 42m). Go down, stay down, go deep!

Oddity for us word-loving geeks: This use of "hookah" wasn't in either the online dictionary or Wikipedia, which is very strange, since Googling "hookah"+"dive" (or "diver") gives over 200,000 hits. (no pun intended -- sorry!)

[2] "joking patter-killer" = his line of jokes, or patter, "kills" his audience. ("kill" = top compliment to comedian.)

[3] pace note: "hour", per dictionary, is one of the many "fielder's choice" words -- both one- and two-syllable pronunciations are correct. Using one syllable here. (Such words very handy for parodists!)

All Jim Rotondo songs linked, referenced, or excerpted © Jim Rotondo. Lowe's ® Lowe's. All else © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mark Scotti - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Last line says it all! Jim is a very creative writer who has already written some all out classics during the short time he has been a member. A VERY well deserved tribute and I'm sure Jim would like to hear a twenty one flatulent salute!!
Jim Rotondo - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
I am turtally honored by your tribute kind sir! Whilst toilet humor has dominated my contributions the past 3 months, I do appreciate your parodic wisdom and thru our bantering, better things will arise (not for 4 hours though...) My fingers are now calloused from counting syllables. My 90-day probationary period is now complete, I thank you kindly for your evaluation. Do I get a raise now?
TT - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Yes, Jim, you do. Your pay is doubled! (I've been here for three years, off and on, and my pay is, like, 4 or 5x what it was when I started!
TJC - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
An Uber-Prolific Brainiac's tribute to a fellow Uber-Prolific Brainiac... what more can mere mortals say... it's like watching Zeus high five Thor with lightning bolts (of inspiration and thunder (-ous applause)!
alvin - May 18, 2009 - Report this comment
jim's stuff is one of my automatic "go-tos"...nice tribute
Andria - May 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Jim's parodies are always one of the first ones I look at when I visit the new parody entries, along with AFW's, Alvin's, Mark Scotti's, Gari J.'s, and 2Eagle's (as well as mine, when I have one up). Excellent tribute, and here are some 5s.
Tommy Turtle - May 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Will be happy to do the salute! ... thanks Mark!

Jim Rotondo: If I'd realized the handicap of trying to type with that 4-hr thing going on, I wouldna' been so harsh :-) But you have an advantage over the rest of us: You can count 11 syllables! :) :) ;)

TJC: Nice comment from Jove! ... thanks for v/c, o thou of parody Olympus as well.

alvin: thanks... I too.

Andria: Thanks for making an exception to your list by reading one of TT's works ... very honored. ... you read your *own* works, huh? Do you v/c at them, too? (lol j/k!) thanks for v/c, Andria.
Andria - May 19, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL at your response, TT, and I don't *read* my parodies persay, nor do I vote on them. I only comment on my own work as thanks for votes and comments, when someone has something to say about the parody or anything else (I'm probably too nice and accommodating to off-topic commenters and spammers, LOL) and when I need to clarify something along the lines of an error in the lyrics or an explanation that I forgot to put into the prelude.
TT - May 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Andria, glad you took the reply in the LOL manner in which it was intended :) ... thanks again for v/c.

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