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Song Parodies -> "I Believe (But I'm A Cynic)"

Original Song Title:

"I Believe"

Original Performer:

Frankie Laine

Parody Song Title:

"I Believe (But I'm A Cynic)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

OS lyrics here. Pretty fair midi here (search "I Believe"). Wait for the intro -- the lyrics start at 00:15. The trumpets are the main lyric melody and the rest is accompaniment. Parody repeats the two verses.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls
Some place will flood
I believe that though we pray for peace on Earth
We still shed blood
I believe for everyone who goes astray
Someone will add
To their dismay
I believe...
I believe...

I believe above the storm no FEMA call
Is ever heard
I believe the worst computer tool of all
Is MS Word® [1]
Every time one more unwanted baby cries
For welfare Mom
My taxes rise
The whole world lies!
I believe!

I believe for every drop of rain that falls
Flood death toll grows
I believe that somewhere on a peaceful night
Explosion glows
I believe that wealthy folks who go astray
Don't go to jail
Small fine, they pay
I believe...
I believe...

I believe, though "Desert Storm" was great success,
And George One won,
I believe the whole Mid-East was made a mess
By George's son
Every time I hear a politician lie
Flames light the sky
And people die
And I know why
I believe!

[1] Actually, it's probably only about the third worst. The worst is Internet Exploder, but that's a topic for another parody some day heh heh heh heh heh. But now, Word® itself has become a tool for bad people to hack or otherwise damage computers, with three such flaws being reported in a recent ten-day period. Luckily, I haven't used MS Word® for the past year, ever since the free trial that came with the new computer expired, and they wanted two hundred bucks or so for the permanent license. Fortunately, the very nice folks at Sun Microsystems, Inc.® have sponsored a global volunteer effort to build a free suite of better office tools, including a word processing program, called Open Office. It's all I use; you can get it here; and this isn't a spam link because it really truly is free -- no ads, no nag screens, no spyware, and if you offer to donate money, they'll tell you that they'd really rather that you contribute your time -- for example, by telling others about it. (Hey! I just did that!!)

Microsoft® and Microsoft Word® are registered trademarks of Microsoft Corporation. All else © 2006 Tommy Turtle, and sorry if I might have gotten a little confused putting in so many links -- hope they all work ok.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
i believe...that you're right
Tommy Turtle - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin.
AFW - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
So very well said, and sadly, so true..
Tommy Turtle - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW.
Below Average Dave - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Hello Tommy Turtle, this is B.A.D., I just wanted to thank you again for your very encouraging words on my parody, I really appreciated what you posted. . .and figured I'd return the favor on your song. . .
Below Average Dave - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Sometimes I don't think before I type, B.A.D. are my initials, not my opinion of the parody--LOL, it's a good parody.
PMS - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
I be-leaving you some fives
Tommy Turtle - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Below Average Dave, thanks; I was hoping so... PMS, I be-thanking you.
TT - December 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Darn it, all that work, and nobody liked the "Microsoft Corporation link". Oh, well.
Red Ant - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Great work, Tommy Pessimistic Turtle! (that would make a great TMNT theme song parody...). A parody with some bite always makes my day, and I loved your links to Apple and Bozo the Clown! 5s

To answer your question, the word I [censored] in my parody was "killed", which was the rhyme for "Il" you were looking for... for which you were looking! ;)
Tommy Turtle - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Red Ant, thanks much... I'm still rusty; what is TMNT? .. Also, thanks for clarifying the "Il" rhyme.

"for which you were looking! ;)" -- Our discussions of grammar were so long ago, and yet, you remembered??? :) :) :) :) hope you've taken over as AIR's resident pedantic in my absence!
Red Ant - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
TMNT = Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (a good cartoon, at one time...). I remember our discussions, and your parodies about grammer quite well, though I'm afraid I still mutilate the usage of semicolons, colons, and parentheses (and probably commas, too). Looks like you need to make a parody about those, heh heh.
Tommy Turtle - December 28, 2006 - Report this comment
I DK the TMNT theme song, so you can do it - you can reference this song as the basis. No offense would be taken!.... Your usage is looking pretty good so far, and I missed an easy pun: You could be the Red Ant Ped Ant, or RedAnt Pedant, or the Redantic Pedantic etc. Your edits could be tagged, "redant redact" (redact = edit).

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