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Song Parodies -> "Totally Glib, Awf'lly Smart (Top 200 AmIWriters = 40+ Song Posts)"

Original Song Title:

"Total Eclipse Of The Heart"

Original Performer:

Bonnie Tyler

Parody Song Title:

"Totally Glib, Awf'lly Smart (Top 200 AmIWriters = 40+ Song Posts)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

How to be fair in doing group tributes? One way: Just take the names off the list, in order. Fair enough?

Sung to this nice OS video, with karaoke lyrics on-screen. ....Since two or more voices overlap. you'll need either two people to sing aloud, or to read one line with each eye ;) ... And a fast tongue (no further comment. ;)

Count 'em down...
John A. Barry, Malcolm Higgins, T. S. Blessranger, Airfarcewon; Pacholek, Mike
Alvin Rhodes
William Tong, Rick Duncan, Guy DiRito: admired; Phil Alexander *and* Johnny D

Write 'em down....
R.I.P. Royce Miller (missed :-( ); Paul Robinson, serve us; Merry'doc & Pippin, Chris Bodil-y
Quite profound:
Are Matthias, Agrimorfee; such Ethan Mawyer pride, and Peter K1; S.T.G., guys!

Bloodied Hound, Green Dogs [1]
Lionel Mer-tens has played his part
Next: Arcade Junkie
Kristof Robert-son and Jack "Red Ant"

Now, Jim A.
Finn: Susanna Viljanen; Tim Mayfield: the *best* list; Michael Flori-o, Tim Hall
Power, Max; Below Av'-rage Dave, Michael McVey, Bob Gomez, *plus* Jack Wilson; Oy, MasonR!
Treasure found:
Pat "Adagio", Fitu Petaia and Arwen, Conquer-or of parodies; Freddie C.
Read on down:
Read them: Wow! Rex Ungericht; McArthur, Stu; Spaff dot com, Jake Ralphing (Luke Brattoni in guise)

Mister Mac - Phisto
lebeiw15; Pollman, Chris; Stan Hall
Kalafut, Steve: wise
Eagle2; Boy, Mikey; Ghetto John

Blackjack Twen-ty-one (Edge, slight)
Abbott Skelding, T-JC, Sir ;)
Jeff Reuben, Tomy Wiseguy (right!)
Barry Mitchel, White Trash (clever!)

Fan: Ann Hammond; rad-dog 2k2
Dylan Ba-ran-ski, Old ... Man Ribber; Car broke down, Phil Nelson? Use Floyd's Garage
DarkJonSix-Four, Insert Coin(s) to Continue barrage (Such entourage!)
Jay Jianoran, Claude Prez, and Lee, Melanie; Dee Range [2]
Anime with Stephen Harrington, then MarthaDTox

Then Alex Zander (not Phil)
Mark Scotti, yoidy, Mikey Squirr'el
Plus Andy Primus; South Park Al

Wolveroses (vine?) LucidLupin Lee-Bee;
Room *Full* Of Monkeys, typing by heart
2nz and John Spoof
Bill Florio, Jan Unwin: smart!

Jim Rotondo's fine; Jere-my, nee Ot-to
Rick Cormier and Dominic L.
Jared, Rocky Mak
Karlando, The Great; ain't they swell?

[Interlude while the author rests his eyes and flippers for a bit -- first draft written straight through in one sitting.]

Keough, Lee; Bill Boyd
Andre-a Huckstep

Jenkins, John
Joey Lawrence, Joe'l Martinez, Michael T. Mondak, Steve Cavanagh, DJ Blaze
El DeRoblo, Jason, Charlie Decker, Michael Hack, 2-Loud; Dunne, Lawrence; Gari J., carly_carlz

Chrenko, Dave
Aaron Dodson, Michael, Silly Willie, B. O'Connor, Josh2, Zak Randall and Adam Bern-stein
Will Agrudis Glover, EmiLoca, Static, Dumb Ass--Kid; Erik "Taz" Makracek; Flash Flood

Timmy One-Thousand
Andria and Mari Aranoff
Daddy, Watt/Rice Cube
Armstrong, Mike; L. Terhune; T. Marie

Harry, Scathe, Invis'ble Boy
Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle
Sloatead, Sarcas-tic Paranoid
Rebel, Red; and T.J. Spindler

Edward Genereaux; Aussie BullDog
And Ned Riley; Pat-rick ... McWilliams, Poli-tickly Incorrect; PMS
Plus Terrance Tucker, Bob O'Mara, Dubya-D-H (geez, what a mess!)
There's Lucy Branston's kin; dennis; Starlett Victory
Offender, Leo, Charnstar; and Tomario sparks

The Rooster: Drewster; McKludge
Chris Kilo, BLO-TOWN, Coral Snake
Joe'y Dearing, Ravyn Rant, Wozz'honk

wannabemustang-jockey, Warren Ba-ker
McDaniel, Christy; mac 1-9-5
Cat, Adam Essleshall [3]
Piano Min-strel, Jonathan

Bubba, Brady Twins; Alvin Dover/Bill Tong
And Metaphorsbwithu, I say
Mr. Washable
And neminem 'n Leo Jay ,

A 666-Nec-rotox-en
Offenders, Josh Bain, Ryan Quinn
Andrew D. La-Croix
Gary Main, Ragdoll
Joseph Hayes...

[reprise from "Once upon a time, there was light in my life" @ 5:36 in the video]

Kenny is my name; Cait Sith, Indigo, Sweet
auroralast, the; YouKnowItsJoe
Second Braden, Ten;
Spoof-man; Kyle B, and Stray Pooch

All totally glib, awf'lly smart....
(Let's not forget ChuckyG's part!)

Tommy's list ends now
(Takes a bow....)

[1] Sorry about the mangling, but it worked *so* well to "Turn around, bright eyes"....

[2] DK the correct pronunciation, but used three syllables for "Jianoran", as in "Jan-or-an" or "Jyan-or-an."

[3] Video sings "Nothing I can do..."
Both the karaoke lyrics on it and the copyrighted sheet music I have show the line as "THERE"S nothing I can do.... " ... hence, snuck Cat in *there* (so to speak, heh heh).
(Thank you, Adam, for scanning perfectly to the rest of the line. ;)

Names based on the "author" list as of February 16, 2010. (A few places were swapped for pacing purposes.)
This was everyone with 40 or more songs. (And as you can easily see, there are actually 201 writers/teams named, and the author did not include himself, except as a member of a team.)
The other "subtle" point, which TT has always maintained:
You can make *anything* pace to *anything* if you really want to.

Originally intended to link each author's name to their page, but have had reader complaints about too many links -- in a song with "only" 51 links. So, no links.

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Max Power - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
WOW! Leave it to you, TT, to come up with the tribute to all tributes. I feel very blessed to share the stage with everyone. All great and talented writers, under one "shell", with parody, with humor for all!!
Old Man Ribber - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
You stand alone (ok, sometimes with Fiddlegirl, but I digress)! NOBODY else has the skill to pull off this shellacious undertaking! Once again, I am shell shocked. ;D
Christie Marie M - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
You sure got all those names right under your shell, Turtle! Great take on a group tribute to AIR's alumni! 555!
McKludge - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Timmy1000 - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks and a good choice for getting in all the writers. I have to find some time for more writing, so I can move up in your song.
Fiddlegirl - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Now, wouldn't that make a great group photo? [And they all *just* fit into the phone booth! ;) ] 555, and LOL @ McKludge :)
TJC - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Holy Moses, TT! A regular rhymin' wry'centenial of epic prose'portions, a categorically masterful concatenatin' 'condensate on 'crew's control'... Totally deserving of phrase: "Tour de Farce!"
DJ Blaze - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm in the Top 200? Great! Thanks! 555
AFW - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
For a parody like this, you should receive at least 200 votes
Warren Baker - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm somebody! How much do we owe you for the mentions?
Emily Dickinson @ Warren Baker - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
You were somebody before. I'm the only one who's nobody.
Warren Baker - February 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Are you nobody too? There's a pair of us, don't tell!
Emily @ Warren - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Isn't that ten of us, according to your previous discussion with my friend, Marian?
Tommy Turtle - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
EVERYONE: Sorry I'm late. Was watching the Olympics *and* working with FG on our "Olympics" series for this week.

Max Power: Thanks.

Mark Scotti: The Pledge of All-AIR-ance? Thanks for v/c, and for "taking the pledge!

Old Man Ribber: You do me great honor once again, Sir. Thanks for understanding and appreciating what was involved. (But should you still be shocked? -- n/m, best STFU here while I'm *possibly* still ahead! :-D) Thanks for v/c!

Christie Marie M: Thanks!

McKludge: I join with FG (as often as I can -- j/k!) in LOLing!

Timmy1000: My song, but not my list -- the site's list, which is based only on quantity, not quality. You're way up there in *my* list. Thanks for v/c.

Fiddlegirl: You might want to double-check the ref to Royce Miller before suggesting the photo-op... just sayin'.... ;)

TJC: ... which was almost outdone by your comment, as usual! Gracias for grokking!

DJ Blaze: Don't thank me, thank yourself -- it was taken right off the "authors" page, . Thanks for v/c!

AFW: Maybe 191 more will show up during the week .... Olympics on, and all -- but thanks for the sentiment and vote.

Warren Baker: I think AFW answered your question -- and Emily is correct: you were definitely "somebody" here before this was posted. Thanks for v/c.

Emily Dickinson: Go back to teaching English, and leave the math to Marian ;) .. but yes, you're definitely correct -- on all counts. Thanks for v/c.
Phil Nelson - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
The ultimate tribute parody. Thanks for the mention. 5's
Tommy Turtle - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Phil Nelson, thanks.
Edward Genereux - February 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks again for mentioning me. I saw my name and was quite pleasantly flattered.
Below Average Dave - February 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow that is a big list. . .very big list. . .I wouldn't have thought this OS had room for that many names.
Tommy Turtle - February 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Edward Genereux: You're quite welcome. Thanks for visiting.

Below Average Dave: It's a long OS (D you K it? -- check the video link) -- over six minutes, getting toward "American Pie" territory, and the author "cheated" by reprising the last stanza and chorus to fit all 200 in -- but yeah, it was a bit of a jigsaw puzzle. :-) Thanks for stopping by.
John Barry - February 25, 2010 - Report this comment
TT, you are amazing!!
Tommy Turtle - February 25, 2010 - Report this comment
John Barry, I learned from the best -- that guy who leads off the song. Thanks.
Warren Baker - February 26, 2010 - Report this comment
@Emily- Yes, 10 is quite correct and sounds much better than 00110010.
Flash Flood - February 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Sudenly I feel so accepted
Tommy Turtle - February 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Flash Flood: I'm sorry you didn't feel accepted before, because it looks like your catalog has a lot of clever stuff. but glad to have helped. I liked your recent parody, and will have to keep an eye out for future songs that catch moi's fancy. Thanks for v/c.
TW - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey Tommy, it must have taken you forever to write this! Nice to keep such good company.
Tommy Turtle - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
TW = Tony Wiseguy??? Well, whoever, thanks for the vote and comment! Yep, great crowd here! (about 12 hours to write, altogether.)
Andy Primus - June 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow, that was a massive undertaking to include so many. Can't believe I missed it back in Feb.
Tommy Turtle - June 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Andy Primus: Sorry you missed it, too, since you were included. (About 170 or so others haven't commented, either. ;) Better late than never, eh? ... thanks for stopping by and for v/c.
Guy - June 30, 2010 - Report this comment
TT - This had to be a whole bunch of work. I've been on and off this site since June 2003 and a lot of the names who haven't written in years really brought back some memories. Thanks for providing me the means to remember a lot of stuff on the site that I had forgotten about. This is one epic write - Well done. I do not think that anyone has ever attempted this before. You get fives for that alone.
Tommy Turtle - July 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Guy: Thanks for the kind words. It was indeed a challenge - no ten-minute quickie here, you may rest assured - but one that I set for myself, and enjoyed feeling that I accomplished it. I'm glad that you thought so, too. Thanks for reading and v/c.
Michael Pacholek - August 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Every now and then I get look at a parody I should have seen when it first came out. Turn around, here's fives.
Tommy Turtle - August 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek: Well stated, and thanks much.
Andria - August 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Just saw this, and it must have been one h*ll of a lot of work. And I thought my parody of the Macarena about minced oaths that isn't anywhere near finished was hard enough! :-) Saw my name there, thanks for the plug. 5s.
Tommy Turtle - August 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Andria: See reply to Guy, a few above. No, not easy, but fun. Thanks for the v/c, and you're quite welcome. Thanks for taking the time to stop by.
Peter Andersson - September 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for pointing this out, though I'm not entirely sure I'm proud of being that high up on the quantity list, sometimes that makes me feel I've spent faaaar to much time on this hobby...
Tommy Turtle - September 04, 2010 - Report this comment
Haven't we *all*? :) Hey, it keeps us off the streets and out of trouble...; Thanks for stopping by and for v/c.
Patrick - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm trying to think back to 10 Feb 2010 to remember why I didn't catch this tribute. I'm working out a technique which will allow me to listen to the melody while scanning the lyrics. I've heard the original song, but it's not really familiar. Seems I'm always a bit behind the times.
Bruno - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Awesome work. Patrick - I open the song on youtube and have it playing in the background whilst I'm reading the lyrics on another tab
Tommy Turtle - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick: If the actual lyrics on YouTube are distracting, look for a MIDI. (melody only). For this particular one, I found it helpful to sing it to myself while the YT lyrics played, to make sure that it overlaid properly: because of its complexity, and because I DK it very well - rarely hear it or listen to it. Thanks for reading, and did you *like* it?

Bruno: Have we met? Anyway, my pleasure, and thanks for the kind words..
Max Power - June 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Gotta catch'em all!
Tommy Turtle - June 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Max Power: Huh? ... sorry, this reptile with a brain the size of a pea didn't quite get your latest comment, while the first one (first of all comments) was clear. Looking forward to enlightenment, and thanks for stopping by again.
Max Power - June 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Just a Pokemon reference I threw in.
Tommy Turtle - June 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Max Power: Sorry, I DK Pokemon. The salt water of the ocean really does a number on video games... ;-D
Patrick - July 08, 2011 - Report this comment
You were the one who said there is an extended version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart". I'll have to look for that one some time. I recognize many of the names who are here and I can think of a couple who "aren't".
Tommy Turtle - July 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick: Ha, ha! ... as noted at the end of the footnotes, this was everyone with 40 or more parody posts as of February 16 of *2010*. - almost a year and a half ago.

Didn't include myself, but if done today with self included, I'd be a lot higher up than when this was written -- jockeying back and forth with Peter Andersson. for #19 or #20. Thanks for the revisit.
Peregrin - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Late as usual! But worth the wait, a volume of work here TT!
Tommy Turtle - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Better late than never! ... and glad you finally saw yourselves up there in the top bunch, as you belong -- hope Merry sees it too, even if she doesn't v/c or even read the whole thing. (You guys are lucky. Don't have to read very far to get to your plug, than can quit -- j/k!
Meriadoc - August 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Quite late at night, but tomorrow I will go dig up the song and go thru this to give it the attention it deserves.
Tommy Turtle - August 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Meriadoc, please don't feel obligated or rushed. Just trying to advocate that anything can be paced with a little creativity (of which there is a dearth here lately, as per Peregrin's PM rant to me, with which I wholeheartedly agree). Just *if* and *when* you have time, and only if you think it's worth it. Appreciate your taking the time even to scan quickly. Cheers!
Meriadoc - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
I tried but I got lost a third of the way thru... :(
Tommy Turtle: - August 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Meriadoc: Ya think it was easy *writing* this suckah? xD ... maybe read/sing to slow-motion video? Written OS lyrics vs. video? .... n/m, not worth it. Thanks for taking the time and effort to make a stab -- and I noticed that you *did* get far enough to see your (well-earned) plug. :) :) :) j/k!!!

It was still a fun self-challenge. Cheers!

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