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Song Parodies -> "Gee, Webmaster Chucky"

Original Song Title:

"Gee, Officer Krupke"

Parody Song Title:

"Gee, Webmaster Chucky"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Tells the story of a Webmaster trying to police the antics of a gang of veteran AmIRighters known as "The Vets". The great West Side Story Official Website has all the lyrics of both the Broadway musical and the movie. This parody follows the Broadway OS lyrics. There's a MIDI here. (Search "krupke".)
TOMMY:
Dear kindly Mr. Chucky
You gotta understand
Our parodies are plucky
They're gonna bet us banned
Our fathers all got lucky
They got our mothers drunk
Golly, Moses, natcherly we're sunk!

TOMMY AND VETS:
Gee, Webmaster Chucky, we're very upset
'Cause Angelina Jolie hasn't hit on us yet
We ain't pornographic,
We're misunderstood
We'd write politely if we could

TOMMY:
If we could!

ALL:
If we could, then we would,
And we know we should!
We would write politely if we could!

PHIL-A: (Spoken)
That's a little bit hoary. [1]

TOMMY: (Spoken)
Lemme post it on the web!

PHIL-A:
Just tell it to our Chuck.

TOMMY:
Dear kindly Chuck Grosvenor
The satire game is rough
You write with Eros' pen or
Nobody reads your stuff
It's not that we're all stoners
The rules are iron-clad
Bonehead boners! Can't write of gonad! [2]

RED ANT: (As Judge)
Sad!
Webmaster Chucky, you're really a square;
Precocious ten-year-olds today are much more aware [3]
It isn't our lyrics that you need to curb
By modern standards, we're superb!

TOMMY:
We're superb!

VETS:
We're superb, don't perturb
Though we're all on herb
Like we're graphologic'ly superb

RED ANT: (Spoken, as Judge)
In the opinion of this site, this turtle is depraved on account 'a he ain't got a human brain.

TOMMY: (Spoken)
Hey, I'm insane on account 'a I'm pea-brain!

RED ANT:
So take him to a headsweller.

TOMMY: (Sings)
My father's a rep-tile
My ma's on LSD
My grandpa is senile
My grandma, brain of pea
My sister's hot for Britney
My brother wears a skirt
Goodness, gracious, that's why I write dirt!

AL-VIN: (As Psychiatrist)
squirt!
webmaster chucky, you're really a snob
this boy don't need a censor, just a hottie heart-throb
anatomy's played him a terrible trick
and constantly he flicks his bic!

TOMMY:
I need chick!

ALL:
We are slick, we are quick,
We don't give a frick
Like from parody we get our kick!

AL-VIN: (Spoken)
in my opinion, this turtle don't need to have his head swelled at all. lyrical scatology is purely emotional sleaze!

TOMMY: (Spoken)
Hey, I got emotional sleaze!

AL-VIN:
so take him to a social worker!

TOMMY:
Dear kindly social joker,
They say go earn some bread
Don't be a karaoke-r
Go get a job instead
All day long, Am-I-Writin'
Too bad I don't get paid
Gloryosky! That's why I'm not laid!

AIRFARCEWON: (As Female Social Worker)
Spayed!
Webmaster Chucky, you've done it again!
This boy don't need a website, just a paper and pen!
It ain't just a question of morals too weak
Deep down inside him, he's a freak!

TOMMY:
I'm a freak!

ALL:
We are geek, we're a clique
We are all unique
Like the best of us is really bleak!

RED ANT: (As Judge)
The trouble is we're crazy!

AIRFARCEWON: (As Female Social Worker)
The trouble is we're creeps!

AL-VIN: (As Psychiatrist)
our acid-heads are hazy

RED ANT:
We like to mate with sheeps!

AL-VIN:
the trouble is he's stoning

AIRFARCEWON:
The trouble's he's a clone

ALL:
Chucky, we got troubles of our own!

Gee, Webmaster Chucky,
We're begging you, please
'Cause songs do not get votes unless 'bout girls on their knees
Gee, Webmaster Chucky,
What are we to do?
Gee, Webmaster Chucky,
Chuck you!



[1] "Hoary": Tedious or stale.
[2] "Boner": An embarrassing mistake or blunder.
[3] Submission guidelines: "If you can't say it to someone 10 or older, don't submit it." Anyone here eavesdropped on the IMs of ten-year-olds lately? lol :-)
This is the perverse Turtilian way of paying tribute to our beloved host for all he does for us in running the best website on the planet. © 2007 Tommy Turtle.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   15
 15
 15
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Brilliant! Brilliant! Brillant!!!! (Need I say more?)
Michael Pacholek - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Not an easy song to do -- I know, I tried it, "Dear Master Yoda" -- and you might get your shell handed to you for this, but I loved it!
alvin rhodes - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
i'd call this a full fledged masterpiece even if i wasn't included... thanks for the nod, you rock
Michael E Cormier - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but that's some masterful word weaving going on there. Good Job. 555
Phil Alexander - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
:Grin:
Gee, Tommy the Turtle, that's really quite good
But knowing who the author is, I knew that it would
Well-woven and witty, and wonderful, but
You just talk about it: there's no smut!
There's no smut, there's no smut
Usually a glut
But surprisingly, there's no damn smut ;-)
AFW - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the inclusion in your terrific production number..even if you did make me a female...
Adagio - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS, if it looks smooshed I can't vote because you never did tell me what that was, and I don't know what tune to follow.
PMS - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
TTremendous work!
Rex - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
This really had me Chuckling. 555
Red Ant - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
That's quite a bit of excellent writing there, Tommy Turtle. Super idea and execution, and many thanks for the inclusion (who said turtles and ants can't be friends? No one? That's what I thought...). I sentence you to write 555 parodies.

I try to avoid 10 year olds as much a possible. =)

I think the site is more PG-13 than G rated nowadays, and it'll probably stay that way. I don't know if whatfreaks was still around when you first started, but that's where all the NC-17 and X rated parodies went. ChuckyG doesn't allow them here for numerous reasons, but I believe the big one is that if AmiRight is flagged as an adult site the advertising dollars go away.

No doubt sex sells, but IMHO anyone can rhyme "suck" and f***" and get a few cheap laughs. By forcing authors into vagueness and double entendre (or a crapload of asterisks) to post here, I think the adult themed parodies here are much better than what was on whatfreaks anyway (with few exceptions).
Below Average Dave - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice job on this one, don't have a lot to say, bored and just checking out a few parodies today.
Johnny D - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
As someone who knows how tough that OS is to parody, let me say that you did a GREAT job here, TT!
Tommy Turtle - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Matthias: That'll do very nicely, thanks! :)

Michael Pacholek: Thanks!

alvin rhodes: thanks, but what did i do to deserve you calling me a rock?.... oh wait, you meant i do rock, not i am a rock.... duh (lol j/k!!! thanks alvin :)

Michael E. Cormier: The movie is well worth renting, even though the lyrics aren't as good as on the Broadway sound track... check out the WSS website through the link at the top.... Thanks Michael.

Phil Alexander: About what I'd expect in a spin-off comment from you, namely: excellent (and as Alexanderly alliterative as always)... Check tomorrow and next week - will go back to double-entendre, while duly trying to avoid outright smut :)

AFW: You're welcome, and the casting was done because your nick paces perfectly and (almost) rhymes with OS character Baby John.

Baby John
Airfarcewon

Adagio: This isn't a smoosh. It's a straight parody of the OS, whose lyrics and MIDI (digital simulation of OS melody) are linked in the intro (click the underlined blue "Broadway OS lyrics" to read the OS lyrics; and to hear the tune, click the underlined blue "here" in "There's a MIDI here". Click that, do ctrl+F, type "krupke" (without the quotes), hit "enter", then click on the title "Officer Krupke". The sing-along tune will play. Hope that helps, and thanks for stopping by.

PMS: TThanks! :-)

Rex: Good one (lol).. thanks.

Below Average Dave: thanks - hope to have helped relieve the boredom.

Judge Red Ant: (see casting note to AFW) Can't say your nick rhymed with OS character "Diesel", although at least it paces to it. (similarly, "Snowboy" and "Phil-A", and "A-Rab" with " al-vin"... and making him the psychiatrist somehow seemed, I dunno, right lol)... I know you don't "judge" the parodies before submission, but since you are on staff, it seemed natural to cast you as the Judge.

Like so many other parodies, the "complaint" here was a good bit tongue-in-cheek facetious. Yes, whatfreaks was here when I started. I visited it once or twice and didn't really care for it. I like a dirty limerick or joke as much as the next ant or turtle, but as you point out, much of it was juvenile or cheap rather than clever. In fact, I agree completely with your opinion and with ChuckyG's policy, even though I never thought about the advertising implications (not being in the website business myself). Innuendo, double entendre, puns, and vague suggestiveness that rely on the reader's imagination take much more creativity and wit, and come out funnier and more appealing, than outright obscenity. I expressed the same opinion in response to your comment at "Copping A Feel On Heather"... don't believe you've seen that response.
www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles1735.shtml

IMHO, dancing on the edge is more fun than jumping off. I'm sure that sometimes I accidentally go over the line, but the line does indeed get blurry at times. I submitted one this past Monday that had nothing ribald other than the common expression for the breast, "t***y", and it didn't post, but that might have been related to the new-server issues - a couple of comments I submitted that day didn't appear, either. I'm going to try submitting that one again next week, and another that will show that it can be all in the reader's mind rather than on paper (so to speak). I already submitted for tomorrow Friday (19 Jan. OMG, that's today!) 14 hours ago (before noon on Thursday), before seeing any of these comments (long, break-free work day - yuk!), and it's somewhat adult-themed, but in a joking way and without a single nasty word. Hope it's OK.

Thanks for the votes and "sentence", Your Honor. Will try to serve it obediently :D
TT - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
JohnnyD, your comment came in while I was composing the encyclical above... thanks, and where TF have you been??? missed ya, especially at www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews88.shtml and its sequel, www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews89.shtml...not trying a cheap plug, just thought when composing those that JD of all people might enjoy... if ya do visit, check out the first one first... and nice to see ya again!
John Lomain - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Very well written stuff here!
TT - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
John Lomain, thanks!
Peter Andersson - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
There's a grin on my face that won't go away, not faster than turtle speed anyway. :-)
Adagio - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Got that one, TT, thanks. I really liked it 5's
Parodist - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
This does explain a LOT.
Agrimorfee - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
A bit on the weirder side with you, TT, you must have toked some of that weed, too. :) (j/k)
I recommend the movie too, even though Natalie Wood and Richard Beymer have no business whatsoever starring it. They don't even sing their parts!
And as I kind of said in "Amphigorian Pie" (shameless plug): "I could make the lyrics suck/ And make the words all rhyme with 'duck' / But then someone would give a darn."
Tommy Turtle - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Peter Andersson, thankss! :-)... Adagio, thanks, glad you liked it... Parodist, yeah, I guess it does :)...

Agrimorfee, yeah, Natalie Wood is sooo Puerto Rican, right?... And street gangsters are all trained ballet dancers, and spontaneously break into song-and-dance numbers.. still, a great flick. Thanks for VC. ;)
TT - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Red Ant: Meant to mention that the "I'm a freak" portion was indeed an allusion to whatfreaks.com. I didn't even know it had shut down. I'm so relieved to know that while we're still vulnerable to te**or*sts, bogged badly in Iraq, facing ever-growing budget deficits, etc., at least we're protected from seeing the word f*** on the Internet, because seeing that word is much more harmful than all of those other things combined. (apparently). Way to go, US Govt.!!!
The Founding Fathers - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
"Congress shall make no law ... abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press;..."
Did you people not read that, or did you not think we were serious when we said it? And exactly what part of "no law" wasn't clear?
Tommy Turtle - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
The Founding Fathers: You guys tried, really, you did, and a good job... but what you said has been pretty much ignored since... some people (governments) just can't handle the idea of "freedom". Thanks for stopping by, guys.
Stan Hall - December 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job with a fun song put, as I'm learning is your habit, to ironically apt use ... a sort of parodistic metapun, if you will. FWIW, I played about with this OS awhlie back, whacking it with some reverse spin.
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/bernsteinsondheim5.shtml
Tommy Turtle - December 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Stan Hall, thanks, and thanks for catching the meta-metaphor of Chucky/Krupke both being "cops" of a sort.... yes, OS was chosen not only because the title and character names pace properly, but because of the analogous situation.
I'm getting *way* behind you in reading your work -- doesn't it s*k to have a Real Job? -- but will look at your comments that are in my pending list, and try to carch up on yours later on. Thanks again for v/c.
TT - December 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Tyrone the Terrible, thanks. Great set of initials, by the way!
Mark Scotti - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderful statement on G#d Da#ned censorship! Gee Tommy Turtle, deep down inside me here come fives!!!
Tommy Turtle - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Thanks... although as the commentary discussed, the admin (ChuckyG) *needs* to exercise discretion, so as not to drive away mainstream advertisers, who make the site possible for him and for all of us. But the fact that WhatFreaks was shut down for a while was really Nazi-scary... Deep down inside me come the thanks!

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