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Song Parodies -> "Cloak Those Fatty Thighs"

Original Song Title:

"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"

Original Performer:

The Platters

Parody Song Title:

"Cloak Those Fatty Thighs"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Asked them how they knew:
Ate junk all day through
(Chew, chew Jujubees™)

They, of course, replied
"Mini-skirt: high, ride
"Thighs you cannot hide"

Said "Some day you'll find
"Thighs merge with behind"
("Ew, ew-ew-ew-ew")

"When your diet's dire
"You must realize
"Goes straight to your thighs"

True: I heft
A ton each: right and left
But choc'latey smell: de-light

Hence, today:
Four hundred pounds, I weigh
Dwell gel: swell, cell-u-lite

Closet, full, supplied:
Dresses long and wide
(For-ty-six plus plus)

Some good taste, require
Their advice was quite wise:
Cloak those fatty thighs!

Choke - those - cat-ty - guys!

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   8

User Comments

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TJC - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
'TTwas TTotally Phatte! Choke those catty-guys--then come get yer fives!
mark Scotti - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
You got a "Wide" range of laughs out of me for this one, 555 to be exact!
Old Man Ribber - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
TT - Even your daily "off-number" (the lesser work of each day) is a feast! It's making my funny bone morbidly obese. ;D
Patrick - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson, "a decent respect for the opinions of mankind compels" that I do not wear shorts in public. Perhaps the only advantage of winter is that the short skirts on unqualified to wear them women go back into the closet.
John Barry - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Stokin' you some fives.
Fiddlegirl - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
She-turtles in mini-skirts... now *there's* an interesting thought. Right up there with He-turtles in Speedos, I guess! ;) 555
AFW - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Fatty Thighs, sounds like the name of the cooking instructor in high school home-ec class
Christie Marie M - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
That sounds like my thighs. Yeah, every time I eat those fried chicken thighs, it usually goes through my thighs. But ever heard of Chicken! This one equals to 555 tons of laughter!
Tommy Turtle - September 15, 2010 - Report this comment
TJC: Not a bad follow-up: "Write, Then Get Your Fives". ( © 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved.) Going into the "ideas" folder for future fabrication - thanks for v/c/i (idea)!

mark Scotti: Wow, that *is* one "heavy" sucker! Thanks, Mark!

Old Man Ribber: I prefer to think of them as in old 45-rpm records: the "B" side, or in old double-features (only us old farts remember those), where the cheaper flic was the "B" flic, generating a whole new genre name: "B-movies". Glad you're enjoying the flip side, but there *may* be a funny-bone diet coming (i. e. breaktime) -- we'll see. Thanks for v/c the B! :-D

Patrick: You oughta try it here, on the beach: Why, exactly, do they make thong bikinis in XXXL? "Moon" landing, indeed! Thanks for v/c.

John Barry: Another good title switch, but that one's yours to keep. Thanks for v/c. (This OS *soooo* lends itself to title switching.)

Fiddlegirl: Or teen-age mutant ninja turtles in leotards or superhero costumes ... thanks for v/c. .. and, uh, isn't "Turtle Speed-o" an oxymoron? :-D

AFW: DK you took Home Ec, but make me dinner some time :) Thanks for v/c!

Christie Marie M: TMI... :-) Sure, at times I like to Thai Won On -- thanks for v/c!

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