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Song Parodies -> "B'rack's Nuts Roasting: Jackson Opens Fire"

Original Song Title:

"Xmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)"

Original Performer:

Nat King Cole

Parody Song Title:

"B'rack's Nuts Roasting: Jackson Opens Fire"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Another one that didn't make it onto the airwaves.

B'rack's nuts roasting, as he opens fire
Jesse Jackson's envy shows
Flaming insults sounding like Richard Pryor
A little jealous, I suppose

Everybody knows...
A turkey with an open mike
Says some things that ain't too bright
Fox and Friends with their eyes all aglow
Love to replay it day and night

They know Obama's on his way
There's nothing Reverend Wright or Hillary can say
And all you whining brats should grow up instead
And say that you don't really mean what you said

And so I'm offering some free advice
To preachers, and the networks too:
We're all sick of mud, so if you can't play nice
Jesse Jackson, scr*w you!


© 2008 Tommy Turtle.. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com (OS title abbreviated due to space limit.)

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

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User Comments

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Jason - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Welcome back TT! Where have you been all this time? I feel privilaged at being the first to comment on this! Great parody as well. 555s.
McKludge - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Let me guess, TT. Your radio syndicate is owned by Clear Channel?

I think maybe Jesse is worried he will start losing influence if Barack wins.
Meriadoc - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Is it just me, or does anyone else think that Jesse looks constantly constipated?
John Barry - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
I'd like to cut his mic off. Nice job on a loathsome opportunist scam artist.
alvin - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
especially liked "turkey with an open mike"...i agree with merry...well, what can one expect from someone who is always full of....uh....anger
Tim Hall - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Remember the Hymietown quote from Jesse in 1984? History repeats itself when people do not learn their lessons. Yes, Meriadoc, he does look like he could use a daily allotment of prunes and a bowl of FiberOne Cereal
Phil Alexander - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Jessie's just a big... well, Jessie... maybe he thought the first black president would be him.. who knows. Not sure he sounded quite like Richard Pryor... didn't hear the "N" word ;-)
2Eagle - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Good message. You should mail that to every political candidate.
Max Power - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Jackson's a cracked nut
Agrimorfee - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Woo woo...that goes for Rev.s Wright & Fleger, too!
Tommy Turtle - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Jason: Thanks -- been concentrating on professional writing, as per note here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/thetemptations17.shtml, but you know what? The good stuff at AIR is better than a lot of what gets on the air (lower caise). See note to McKludge below -- and thanks for the welcome and v/c.

McKludge: The opposite, actually. Huge chains like CC do all their stuff in-house. Independent stations can't afford this, and so often subscribe to wholesale suppliers. However, the similar criteria apply - has to appeal to mass audience (read "dumbed down"), not too edgy, hot topic that will last a long time (so they get the most bang for their parody buck). And as one rejection notice said, Jackson is already history, so I don't blame them for turning it down. Agree with your comment -- and think it's already happening. Thanks for v/c.

Meriadoc: I think alvin answered that, very well :-) Glad to hear from you, and hope you're feeling better (yes, it's been a long time and I've been MIA). Thanks for v/c, Merry.

John Barry: Amen. Thanks, John.

alvin: very delicately put, my friend! (lol) glad you liked one of tt's fave lines also. thanks for v/c.

Tim Hall: Bigots are bigots, aren't they? - regardless of race, creed, color, etc. Thanks for v/c.

Phil Alexander: In his dreams.... well, "Pryor" seemed an apropos match/sub for "choir" -- and I'll bet if we tap his mic enough, we'll hear the N-word too, no? Thanks for v/c.

2Eagle: Thanks -- will do :-) lol. Thanks for v/c.

Max Power: LOL! Thanks for v/c..

Agrimforfee: Definitely agree! Thanks for v/c.
John Jenkins - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
TT, good to see your return and very good to see a spoof of another JJ that the left and right and center can all enjoy.
TT - July 16, 2008 - Report this comment
John Jenkins: Thanks, and that's a good point: for once, there's bipartisan agreement! (Maybe it's Jesse Jackson who's the "uniter" lol!)
The Thought Police - July 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Been a while since I've been here,just wanted to say-nice! 3 pairs of-um,fives!
TT - July 17, 2008 - Report this comment
The Thought Police: I haven't been here much either. Thanks for giving me those nice "pairs"!
TJC - July 18, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent egotist bashing (I consider this masterfully *a*political)! Great syllable / meter and rhyme matching... particularly loved Pryor/choir...and most definitely, this should'a been rampantly spamming the airwaves from Tallahasse to, er... Temecula!
TT - July 20, 2008 - Report this comment
TJC: Thanks! ... and a cute "inside" joke there :)

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