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Song Parodies -> "Ever-Blasting Steam"

Original Song Title:

"Everlasting Love"

Original Performer:

Robert Knight/Carl Carlton/Gloria Estefan/U2 etc.

Parody Song Title:

"Ever-Blasting Steam"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Seeing the reference to steam baths in John Barry's"It's on Meat Fare I'll Live" reminded me of the following, written years ago. Perspired -- I mean, inspired -- by the first visit to a gym after having driven across the US. Early, un-evolved Turtle.
"Bods" go astray;
Toxins ac-cum-u-late
Causing disease;
Better: please, to ventilate
Go to the gym
And increase your pulse rate
Sit in the steam
And emerge feeling great!

Opens up your pores
Purges all your sores
Cleans you to the cores:
Ever-blasting steam!

Once you step inside
Pores will open wide
The germs will all be fried
In ever-blasting steam!

From the very start
Pry your pores apart
Stimulate your heart
With ever-blasting steam!

Need a steam bath or a sauna
Take one each week, yes, I wanna!

(instrumental)

Sinuses and nose
Send their scummy flows
Out your skin it goes
In ever-blasting steam!

When you're feeling punk
Blood is clogged with gunk
Get rid of the junk
With ever-blasting steam!

Once the junk is gone
You will feel so strong
Your thanks, they will belong
To ever-blasting steam!

Need a steam bath or a sauna
Take one each week, yes, I'm gonna!

(repeat verses and fade)


Many others have covered this classic OS. The Web is full of garbled versions of OS lyrics. A close approximation is here. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 1
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
steamy !
John Barry - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
In the shvitz, all departed/They were blitzed by me, who farted. Steamy indeedy. 555
AFW - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
I feel like I just been steam cleaned...good rhymes
TT - March 29, 2006 - Report this comment
alvin, thanks... John B., so that was you??? Thought so.... actually have a parody on that topic under construction... (23 under construciton, at last count).... AFW, thanks.
Larry Hensley - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Perfect parody for this song
TT - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Larry Hensley, thanks.
Peregrin - September 09, 2012 - Report this comment
This song got me all hot!
Tommy Turtle - September 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin, if that's the case, would you mind sitting in another booth? ;-D
Peregrin - September 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Sure. Exploding turtles are a health hazard.
Tommy Turtle @ Peregrin - September 10, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm sure you knew this, but I was more concerned about your getting "in heat" with TT in the same booth... ;-D -- good change of meaning there, and a nice poikilothermic ref as well. :)
Peregrin - September 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Yes, i avoided the whole concept!!!
Rudyard Turtling - September 11, 2012 - Report this comment
You're a better man than I am, Pera-Grin!

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