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Song Parodies -> "I'll Always Be A Fan Of Rand (WARNING: Very Geeky)"

Original Song Title:

"I'll Never Fall In Love Again"

Original Performer:

Dionne Warwick

Parody Song Title:

"I'll Always Be A Fan Of Rand (WARNING: Very Geeky)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

There aren't any links, footnotes, or other explanations of references to the author in question. I figured if there happened to be any other Rand fans here, they wouldn't need them, and perhaps one or two non-fans might become interested in checking out her work. OS lyrics here. Midi here. =Pacing note: in each of the first two lines of the OS third verse, the end word that is one syllable is sung/carried as two.
What do you get reading "Atlas Shrugged"?
A thousand-page book: library, loan ya [1]
Worth it: Francis-co D' - Anconia
I'll always think that Rand is grand
I'll always be a fan of Rand

What do you get reading "Fountainhead"?
A "Roark-itecht", designs uni- -ique
Intellect's sex with Dominique (geek)
Here: Controversy: sex, demand?
Don'tcha know that I'll always be a fan of Rand?

Don't tell me I'm a geeky braggart
'Cause I'm in love with Miss Dagny Taggart
Running those trains with brains; such mind, screw --
-- "Women's Lib"; at top of mankind: you!

What do you get when you read Ayn Rand?
The man who called world to grinding ha- -alt
Reason, exalt: "Who is John Ga- -lt?"
Though socialists won't understand
Yes, yes, I'll always be a fan of Rand

(Instrumental interlude on Rand's preferred organ, her brain)

Af- -fair, "man of steel" tycoon: Hank Rearden
Know by now... you think that I'm weirdin'!

What do you get watching Sally Rand?
A stripper with bod so hot it's fa- -anned
Remington; Sper-ry: Former "bRa- -a- -and"
E- -conomy is free, not planned
Don'tcha know that I'll always be a fan: Ayn Rand!

I'll always be a fan of..... Rand!

[1] One footnote for the sake of accuracy: Paperback, 1084 pages; hardcover, 1168 pages. I've read favorite passages hundreds of times, though I doubt I've read it through cover-to-cover more than a dozen or so. Sort of "geek porn", but only stimulating to the intellect. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
only rand i've read was "atlas"....a very difficult book to get through but the mind blowing ending was a supreme pay-off...i'll get around to "the fountainhead" before i die...unique parody here
TT - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin. I think "Atlas" was the better, more evolved work -- her magnum opus, but 'Fountain" streams good stuff too.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I haven't read any of her (his?) books but heard of them somewhere, possibly in conjunction with Robert A Heinlein's "Starship Troopers" (which is a book NOT to be judged/avoided because of the movie - which is to be avoided if possible).
AFW - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
The only Atlas I read is one full a' maps, when I travel..5's from a non-geek
TT - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter, I think Heinlein was a fan of Rand, and vice versa...check her out... AFW, reading and voting when you DKTO novels or author is a true friend... thanks :)
Rod Worden - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Can you imagine what she would think of the scope of today's central planning?? Superb work, TT!
LucidLupin - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment Charles Atlas Shimmies? The things one can learn on this site ;-P 555
Larry Hensley - April 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Also Don't know the author or books, but still was a good parody
TT - April 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Rod Worden, I'm just sorry that she didn't quite live to see the downfall of the Soviet Union, since she had escaped from Russia herself... or to see the freedom that we're all enjoying on the Internet as we speak... thanks :) ...LucidLupin, lol... thanks! ... Larry Hensley, thanks, and thanks for reading this without knowing the refs.
John Jenkins - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I am dismayed at her atheism; but I, too, am a big fan of the powerful ways that she portrays the virtues of freedom. A lot of good lines here, particularly "Roark-itecht."
TT - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
John Jenkins, thanks... I think in the truly free world that Rand portrays, all people would be free to practice any religion of their choice, even though she doesn't. Unfortunately, that freedom doesn't exist in much of today's world... Thanks for reading and commenting.
Turtocrates @ FG - August 23, 2009 - Report this comment
It is not advisable, Fiddlegirl, to venture unsolicited opinions.

But is it solicitous to opine on advisable ventures? Or adventurous solicitations?

I'm off to the library... :)
TT @ Turtocrates - August 23, 2009 - Report this comment
But FG's opinions are *always* solicited! Considering that the quote in question was directed at that wimpy, spineless Leftist (but I repeat myself .... sorry), James Taggart, to class FG with JT is a logical fallacy absurdum maximum.... Turtocrates had too much wine this weekend?

btw, what does James do most of the time? Lobby Washington for bailouts -- and that was written in *1957*. Did she see where the country was going, or what? (Rand with a positive alternate vision, Orwell with only the negative, but both negatives happening as we speak.)

And while it's *none of your business", wise and great philosopher that you be, Turtoc, "adventurous solicitations" from FG are welcomed, with, well, ... open arms!
Patrick - July 07, 2011 - Report this comment
AIR is still a mine of undiscovered gems. Sometimes it just takes a few years to find them. My first copy of AS was a beat-up paperback found in a thrift store for 35 cents. It went through me to my brother to my cousin to a sister-in-law before it finally fell apart. Fountainhead and other novels came later for me. Belonged to an Ayn Rand discussion group for a time. Having seen the recent movie, I could only wish Albert Ruddy (The Godfather) had been given the chance to film it 30 years ago. With a good budget and the skills he brought to Mario Puzo's novel, it could have been a masterpiece with the sort of positive influence that the TV series "Roots" had. The AS movie web site says to watch for Part 2 in the fall of 2012. Sure! But maybe they'll start filming next September.
Tommy Turtle - July 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick: My first copy was a new paperback, but it quickly became so dog-eared, covers falling off, then pages falling off, binding coming apart, that I bought the hardcover, at what would have been considered a very high price back then.

I've been afraid to see what Hollywood did with Atlas. Wasn't too thrilled with what they did with "The Fountainhead", and that was back when better quality standards prevailed for some.

I submitted my pic and resume for a proposed filming of Atlas back when I was still in the business, but that project fell through, not that they would have cast me anyway. Thanks for read/v/c.

btw, there are other undiscovered gems ;-D (click the author name at the top, lol)
Patrick, You Apparently Already Read This... - July 08, 2011 - Report this comment
... according to your comment from Dec 2009 at: But with 70,000+ parodies on site, it's easy enough to forget one.

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