[Intro, to the opening bars of "La Marseillaise" (French National Anthem)]
I just turned thirteen; now, I can date
But I also .... menstruate
Blood, blood, blood
Crud, crud, crud
Fudd, fudd, fudd
There's nothing you can do about "those days"
Wear your Maxi-Pad™ and hope it stays
Grown-ups always claim that you must learn how to be a dame
Nothing you can wear that can't be stained
No way you can know when you'll be pained
Bad when you feel damp, but even worse getting a cramp, that "time"
All you bleed is blood
Didn't breed, so: blood
I don't need this blood, Bud
Blood from fall of seed
Ova feed to blood
Yes, indeed, much blood
Pregnancied? No; blood, stud!
Something girls must know when they are grown
Guys don't get it, see? It's ours alone
Bad enough: can't pee just anywhere, like guys, by tree
Half your life: bleed blood
Become wife: bleed blood
Laundry rife with blood, blood
'Cause of Eve-il deed
All you bleed is blood (Legs together, now!)
Yes, indeed, now, blood (Ov'ry body!)
Days, must heed for blood flood
Blood is all you bleed ("Is that all?", I plead)
(Look at bloody ooze)
(Got the monthly blues)
(Dripping on my shoes)
Make love: you? Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Disgust: you? No, no, no!
Love is more than bleed
Love is woman's need
On that, all agreed?
Oh, yeah, yes, indeed!
Have a toke of weed 
To the bed, I lead
Making all due speed
Have a ball, proceed
That is Tommy's creed
Thank you all for read!
 Queen Victoria, longest-ever reigning Monarch of the UK (1837-1901), was reported to have used cannabis to ease her menstrual cramps. Can't get a higher endorsement than that, even if you *do* win eight Olympic gold medals, as in yesterday's