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Song Parodies -> "Lie, Cheat, Gore'd (Al)"

Original Song Title:

"My Sweet Lord"

Original Performer:

George Harrison

Parody Song Title:

"Lie, Cheat, Gore'd (Al)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Let's see -- former Vice-POTUS Al Gore flies around the world in a private jet to give speeches urging us to use less energy, while owning a number of huge mansions, one of which uses more electricity in a month than the average US home uses in a year. And a British court found nine factual errors in his documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth", and so much political bias that any school using the film as a teaching aid must discuss both the errors and the bias.

Meanwhile, Gore's own "renewable energy" seems to be going into sexually harassing several massage therapists, as he divorces the wife on whom he planted a ridiculously sloppy kiss at the 2000 Democratic National Convention. One masseuse claimed that the stood up from the massage table, dropped his towel, exposing an aroused condition, and said, "Take care of *this*!"

Why cheat, Gore?
Tipper snore?
Or, just bore?

You really want to save us?
"Global Warm" spiel, gave to us
Very bad: behave; was poor
When you shaked your dong, Al Gore

Lie: masseuse
Let hang loose
Try: seduce

Such sloppy kiss to Tipper
Now, you no more un-zip her
Gore wood, wouldn't slip her; hoard
Bad moves, prone, make; wrong; untoward (Ball me, will ya?)

"Miss, treat 'sword'! " (Gal, will do ya?)
Mistreat horde (She'll not screw ya)
Missed, not scored (Pal, you're through, yeah)

She'd rather she'd not seen this:
Makes a fervent plea: Miss, toward
Really ugly scene; is floored
"Will you take my schlong? Reward!" (maul masseuse, huh?)

Obs'lete: Gore (want to play, you?)
Best ignore (who would lay you?)
Bye, bye, bye, Gore (go away, you)

You really don't know sh*t, Sir! (movie, flawed much)
Quite a hypocrite, Sir! (Left, applaud much)
Private jet, could quit, Sir (Arrghh!)
In coach class, we sit; afford (awed, but fraud, such)

Blehhh (so untrue; err)
E-lite: Gore (meanings: two, there)
De-ceit: Gore (play not, you, fair)

Ugh, Al Gore (saw young dish, huh?)
My, my, my, Gore (scared poor Tricia?)
Oh, no, in heat, Gore? (icky wish, d'oh)
Uh-oh, oh, (very scary!)

Face it: no one wants to see you (phony drama)
Many don't agree with you (up yo' mama)
It must suck to be you, Gore (eeeh)
You'll be soon long gone, Lord Gore (Hallelujah!)

Hmm, Al Gore (balls are blue, huh?)
Why thy lie, Gore? (have your wish? naah)
Con-ceit, Gore (cat's pajama?)
Re-treat, Gore (no Obama)
Go "beat", Gore (hairy palm-a)

[repeat-edly, endless nonsense pours out; lame excuses produce so much hot air as to make Gore's prophecies self-fulfilling]

OS would be painful to TT's ears, if turtles had ears. So worked from Red Ant's historical parody of Harrison's plagiarism of TOS melody (for which RA kindly credited some reptile for the inspiration - sorry the karma wasn't "instant", but here it is, Jack :). Therefore, if any pacing issues, blame RA, not TT (heh heh!) .... used the contraction of "Gore Would" for a better title match to OS than just "Gore" ... and hey, wasn't it Gore's (tiger) woods that got him into all this trouble? ;-)

No footnotes due to a complaint about them, but did anyone find a double-meaning in "prone", "Vice", or "untrue"? Just curious, and trying to kick the footnote habit....

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   8

User Comments

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TJC - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
So,dropping divorce papers on him served as his 'global warning'? Really nicely done with many fine iterations of the endless OS repetitive greifrains.You have a labyrinthine mind indeed. And interesting factoid/link about the lifted melody (He's so fined?)!
Michael Pacholek - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Yes, we all know the esteem in which British courts are held these days, don't we? And as for the investigation against Gore, it was dropped for the same reason the investigations against his former boss were dropped: There wasn't enough evidence. Meanwhile, Bush nearly destroyed this country, and it will take Obama probably the entire 8 years just to get us back to where we were in the glorious Clinton-Gore years, when America was better off than ever before. And you know what? The parody was barely average -- which is still an improvement on every GOP President in my lifetime and probably yours.
Old Man Ribber - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Shake not thy Gore-y locks at me! Thou can'st say I did it! (Or words to that effect!) Your skills could make us all Go Green...with envy.
John Barry - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
To paraphrase David Letterman: He felt global warming. . .in his pants!
Horton Foote notes - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Another spot on parody. 555. And bring back the footnotes! Those info-nuggets were highly appreciated on your Mineral Management Service/Potus/BP parodies from 6/25/10 and 6/29/10.
Tommy Turtle - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
TJC: Yep, about half a mil, IIRC, to The Chiffons. Thanks for v/c from ewer labiarinthine mined!

Old Man Ribber: How much "greener" can one get than a Turtle, eh? ;) Thanks for v/c!

John Barry: LOL! ... have heard of "the hero with feet of clay", but in this case, it seems that the clay hardened ... Thanks for v/c.

Horton Foote notes: So, you don't think that Mr. Anti-Footnotes should "Kill a Mocking Turtle"? Appreciate that input, and welcome same from other readers (pro/con footnotes). Thanks for v/c, and comment duly, uh, "noted', heh heh! ;-)
Mr. Spock @ Michael Pacholek - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
That is illogical, Captain (of the Enterfitzgerald, no doubt.)

What on Earth has Bush, or his administration, got to do with whether Gore did or did not sexually harass women? Or to the truth or falsity of Gore's movie? Utterly irrelevant to the parody.

Regardless of whether Gore's term as VP was Paradise on Earth, would that excuse any of the behavior that has been alleged? You must think that it does, because you've already said that the good things that you think that Teddy Kennedy did excuse his driving drunk off of a bridge and deliberately letting a young girl drown, merely to save his reputation and political career. In fact, you blasted FG and me for even bringing it up.

This is known as the "ad hominem" fallacy of logic: "It must be true, or OK, because a good person said or did it; it must be wrong, because a bad person said or did it". Also knows as "playing the Hitler card". ... Arguments stand on their own, and not on who said them, or the other qualities or achievements of the person who is being criticized.

The US courts haven't always been so hot, either. The esteem, or lack of same, of the British courts -- yet *another* ad hominem attack -- does not automatically invalidate their findings. Courts that have made many poor decisions can make some correct ones, and vice versa. Judges, especially, must not allow public opinion to sway their findings. If you wish to dispute the findings of that British court, please provide factual documentation to contradict each of their findings. Otherwise, their reputation is irrelevant.
          A very famous person once said, "I'd rather be right than be President". So should any Judge. Fight the findings with fact if you can; else, attacking the British Court's reputation is meaningless.

*One* investigation was dropped. Several came forward. It's a "he said, she said" situation, with no witnesses (guess massagers should start videotaping their sessions, at least with Gore, heh!), but where there's this much smoke, there's usually some fire - probably, as JAB said, in Gore's pants.

Of course, Gore is presumed *legally* innocent unless/until found guilty, as was his boss, despite the irrefutable evidence of the infamous semen-soaked dress. These things get very political: Clinton, Kennedy, Gore - it's hard to prosecute the rich and powerful, and in EMK's case, they paid off the family - and that's a FACT. Like Tiger Woods, one person could be telling stories, but when several....

I'm not going to debate you on which party has screwed up the least, partly because it's irrelevant, and mostly because, as you'd know if you read more of my stuff, I think they both suck. Try
for an elucidation of that -- and again, the historical quality of GOPOTUS's is irrelevant to the issues discussed here.

I notice that you "conveniently" (heh!) ignored "the inconvenient truth" of the hypocrisy shown by Gore's private jet and energy-gobbling mansions. (FWIW, though still irrelevant, the GWBush manse in Texas was designed "green" and uses far less energy than Gore's. Fact-check it - it's true.)

If you *truly* want to discuss and rationally debate issues, I'd suggest taking a college course in logic, as TT did, or reading a book on the subject. For an easy start, here's a web site that is all about logical fallacies -- types of arguments that are commonly used, but fail the tests of logic. Check it out:
Then, we can have a "logical" discussion. Cheers.
AFW - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
I heard that about Al..maybe he's a Tiger, too ..good humorous points
Leonardo - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
"My Sweet Lord" is the very first song that I learned in my life so it has some importance to me. As for the "plagiarism" suit George was slapped with, the Beatles' former accountant lost a major lawsuit from them so he bought the copywrites from the Chiffons and used that to "get back" at a Beatle. It was just him vs. George. I won't go into how so many of today's "artists" get away with outright plagiarism today! Anyway, you made a very good parody here - the pacing, meter, rhyming, everything perfect. However you didn't mention that ten years ago the 2 main Presidential candidates were Gore and Dumbutt Dubya. We were between a rock and a hard place. It was like someone said, "Welcome to the "New Millenium", you stupid MF's! " Yet still, you made no mention of Tipper's fanatical quest to stamp out music and such that SHE found to be "obscene", "Satanic" or "offensive". That's right, 20 years ago her and her Censorship Posse (PMRC) were trying like hell to censor and ban everything from 2Live Crew, Prince, Guns + Roses, and even Pink Floyd. She'd even tried to bully record companies to not release certain albums. I remember all this witch hunt frenzy crap and she's an arrogant nosy b***h. She kinda deserves Al's leaving her but he could've been a man and divorced her first and then chase other chicks. Still, as they say: instant karma is gonna get you. I feel no sympathy to either Al or Tipper. This parody is one of the best you've ever done. I hope George Harrison can read this parody ( from wherever he is) - I think he'd get a jolly good belly laugh from it. You rock, TT. Turtle Power! Cheers.
Tommy Turtle - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
AFW: Thanks for the v/c, esp. since you've said before that you lean a little leftward. As I tried to explain to Michael, it isn't about the political views, it's about the present allegations and the apparent bias and hypocrisy in the GW campaign. (Global Warming, but also Bush's first intials - how strange is that?)

Leonardo: Didn't know the background re: Harrison's accountant, only that I was quite a fan of The Chiffons and "He's So Fine", and the parallels were evident, even as a youngster without a degree in music.

          Tipper's anti-free-speech campaign wasn't relevant to this particular parody, though I'd briefly considered slipping into a previous one. Yeah, she doesn't sound like the most exciting wife in the world, but then, Al isn't the most exciting guy, either... It's not even a matter of being married; flashing your masseuse is evil even if you're divorced.

I had one of my early parodies plagiarized in the junior-high-school newspaper, then disseminated widely, without credit. Plagiarism sux.

Agree that there were no good choices among "major" candidates in y2k (or most of the time), so I voted for Harry Browne, the Libertarian Party candidate, who refused on principle the Federal matching funds to which he was "entitled'. Check it out:

Thanks for taking the time to write so extensive and informative a comment, and for the votes and props!
John Jenkins - August 07, 2010 - Report this comment
From my perspective, the best subject for a parody is arrogance, and in my lifetime, I don’t think any public figure has personified arrogance more than the former Vice President. Even during his debates with Ross Perot, when he argued for free trade (maybe the only issue on which I have ever agreed with him), he arrogantly continued to interrupt Mr. Perot.

So kudos on a good topic and kudos on good execution with what appears to be a difficult OS.
Tommy Turtle - August 07, 2010 - Report this comment
John Jenkins: Good points, all. Thanks for v/c.
Mark Scotti - August 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Great points, all the way through, Turtle. EVERYBODY must CONSERVE(oh, wait, he's LIBERAL!!!)LOL..And great job "goring" everybody on the negative comments...
Tommy Turtle - August 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Thanks, but I believe that there was only *one* negative comment - the usual one. ;) Thanks for the v/c, and thanks for the reminder that I need to hit your BCR/DS cover parody! I'm there!
Peter Andersson - August 08, 2010 - Report this comment
If my wife (had I been married) had stopped me from listening to contemporary music för almost thirty years I'd be messed up to.

Now once Al Gore has listened up on all the Prince, John Denver, Twisted Sister and WASP music he has missed over the years he'll probably be banged to (Al) right and start act normal again...
Tommy Turtle - August 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Peter Andersson: I haven't listened to contemporary music for thirty years, and I have to agree with you, I'm pretty messed up. :) ;-)

See reply to Leonardo's comment. I agree that Tipper is probably not the ideal wife, but get the divorce first, and besides, unfulfilled home fires don't justify sexual harassment. Or a private jet, for that matter. ;-D Thanks for v/c, Peter with the quarter-meter!
Michael Pacholek - August 08, 2010 - Report this comment
"Spock": For someone to espouse right-wing views and the claim to be “logical” is a contradiction. Let’s start with Ted Kennedy, as you did: He did not deliberately leave anyone to drown. Quite the opposite: He repeatedly dove back down to save her, and failed. George W. Bush, who actually WAS convicted of drunk driving, would have just staggered away. You question my questioning of the British court system, but it was probably stacked with Thatcher’s flakes, so it can’t be taken seriously. Nobody takes the sex allegations against Gore seriously, and there is no credible evidence for them. It is NOT irrelevant which party has screwed up least, and that party is the Democrats. The policies instituted by Gore (through Clinton) and Bush show what they are, and what they do, far more than their personal homes, which only affect them and their families. I don’t need a college course in logic, I just need to use my eyes and my brain, which, compared to you, give me an unfair advantage. I refuse to accept as “logical” anyone who sides with the Bushes, BPs, McConnells, Boehners, Limbaughs and Becks of this world. You people had it your way, and you nearly destroyed us all.
Last futile try @ Michael Pacholek - August 08, 2010 - Report this comment
What makes you think that I side with the Bushes?

Did you not read the part about being not right-wing, but LIbertarian? Skip the logic course until the reading is down pat.

Kennedy could have made one phone call and saved the girl's life. END OF STORY. The details are at FG/TT's "Chappaquiddick"."

For the last time, whether anyone has or has not committed sexual harassment is not affected by their party, their party's performance in office ... oh, heck, logic ... is ... fu-tile, and the present "party" is not worth any more time.

Just out of curiosity, did you put the second set of Ones there after I notified you that your reply was ready? I'll take your word for it either way, since I really don't care. Cheers.
Leonardo - August 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Yo Michael Pacholek: I agree with you that the Repubs lately are first-class criminals. Dumbbutt Dubya + Dick Cheney have DUI convictions and Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas smoked ganja and harassed Anita Hill (remember that "Long Dong Silver" stuff?). Yet that was all OK with the GOP then later they grilled Clinton's hide for his flirting with Mary Jane - not to mention those Other Girls. However I do remember the 1982 page sex scandal. It involved not the Florida GOP senator Foley but the Democrat Garry Studds. He shagged a teenage page in the 70s and he openly flaunted it by hiring him as an aide when he grew up. Studds kicked the bucket a few years ago and the media picture showed him at a campaign stop with his adult loverBOY next to him, ready for some action NOW. What's it all mean? It cuts both says. Yes I HATE the W / Cheney regime and the evils they and their henchmen have done and the only Rush I listen to is a 3 man band from Canada. That Missouri Mussolini, Big Mouth Beck and the other AM mayhem scumbags need to shut up - they ain't nothin' but trouble. Still, evil is still evil: left, right, center, elsewhere. Cheers.
Old Man Ribber - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
(Chair recognizes the senior senator from Kentucky. Mr. Ribber?) Although I have only 40 votes, I introduce a motion for closure. Let's end this debate and give the parody an up-or-down vote. ;D
Tommy Turtle - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Leonardo: "Still, evil is still evil: left, right, center, elsewhere.".
          Thank you, Sir, that's exactly what I've been trying to explain to MP. You said it much more directly and concisely. Thanks for your comment.

Old Man Ribber: I second that emotion. Judge these acts by the facts (heh! ), and the parody on its merits as a parody. Everything else is irrelevant. (I might have said that before, too.) Motion passes almost unanimously, with one dissenting vote from the very junior ... n/m. Passed.

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