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Song Parodies -> "Ewe: "Don't Clone Me!""

Original Song Title:

"You Don't Own Me"

Original Performer:

Lesley Gore

Parody Song Title:

"Ewe: "Don't Clone Me!""

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

President Obama has come out against human cloning, and apparently, Dolly the Sheep didn't like it either. OS lyrics here. Not-as-good-as-the-original YouTube rendition here.

Ewe: "Don't Clone Me!"
Stop photocopying DNA
You: Don't clone me!
I'd rather have "kids" the normal way

So don't make a lamb that's new
In lab where the white-coats play
Each "makeover": unique "new ewe"
Stop playing God, OK?

"Moo! Don't clone me!"
Already know how to "have a cow"
Stu, don't clone me
One Tommy Turtle's enough for now

Oh, I don't want to breed this way
And neither, I bet, would you
So just let me love my Elf [1]
Shout, "Yabba, dabba, doo!"

I'm One, and I love to be One
Not three, ten, or seventy-three
And don't deprive me of the fun
To lay and scr*w whomever I please

[Interlude: repeat the notes D 'n A, or either of the following verses:]

[Interlude Sub #1]

Quack! Don't clone me!
No need to make a new Donald Duck
Left alone, we --
-- Already know how to copulate

[Interlude Sub #2]

This ain't "progress"
Medical science? It don't add squat
Acid trip? Yes!
Deoxyribonucleic? Not!

[continue main song]

A-a-a-nd don't make a "me" anew
Oh-h-h-h, just to get your degree
A thesis, I am not for you;
Topic for Ph.D.

I'm not just some lump of clay
Oh-h-h-h, Play-Doh™ that you construe
So just go and "clone" yourself!
That's all I say: "Cl*ne You!"

You geek, I love that I'm unique
My plea is that you will agree
To led me breed the way I want...
[fade out]
(to play, pursue, and risk s.t.d.'s)

[1] Making nice on a reader who somehow perceived something in a previous parody as being a derogatory reference to the species Elfus Amirightus.

Play-Doh ® Hasbro. All else © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Patrick - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Not familiar with the original song, but cloning has been one of my favorite song topics. When I read that scientists had cloned a cat, I wondered why, when there is a surplus of cats made the old fashioned way. In fact, that is one of the few things a cat can get stirred up enough to do.
Mark Scotti - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
How about 555 of you TT? Great commentary!
Christie Marie M - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Allow me to clone 3 sets of 5's for you, Tommy!!
Tommy Turtle - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Patrick: Isn't it strange that there's a surplus of cats, but a shortage of p-- uh, never mind :) thanks for v/c!

Mark Scotti, could the world handle 555 of me? :) thanks for v/c, Mark!

Christie Marie M: Allow me to clone three thanks: thanks! thanks! thanks!
2Eagle - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Don't play God is right.
Adagio - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
A good job on that. I get the feeling that scientists are just itching to get their hands on a human and I know who would let them...and it wouldn't be God. Yes they are playing God.
TeeJay, see? - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Obama's, er, 'Kill Bill' sure didn't put the kibosh on the ol' Terapin's creativity... Perfect match to the EweTube'd (fallopian slip?) OS with muchos referencios to the dark art's lingo n' lore... 555 helix strands for your effurts!
Tommy Turtle - March 18, 2009 - Report this comment
2Eagle and Adagio: Yep. Thanks to both for v/c.

TeeJay, see?: "Oh, vary" kind comments, Sir or Ma'am! Always proud to be of cervix to you! The tough part was pacing; i. e. getting my-o-metrium right. Let's hope they don't clone Helix The Cat , and glad you enjoyed my little f(r)ollical parody.
Patrick - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Tommy, your comment is right on the mark. See my parody of "My Girl".
Tommy Turtle - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Patrick: Done. Loved it! Also saw your King Barack song and loved that too! Commented on both. Thanks for stopping back by.
DJ Blaze - November 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Response to your plug: this one rocked! Thanks for pointing me to this. 555
Tommy Turtle - November 14, 2009 - Report this comment
DJ Blaze: Thanks! ... and thanks for taking the plug. Plenty more could be said about this topic, and yours was a fine addition to the genre -- original, not just cloned from someone else's work. ;-)
Peregrin - September 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Lots of great lines in here! I particularly chuckled at "Quack! Don't clone me! No need to make a new Donald Duck"
Tommy Turtle - September 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Thanks ... although TBPH, the author's fave was the "couplet" (heh! that followed, with the implied, but impermissible, rhyme -- or was it that to which you refer? Thanks either way! ;-D
Peregrin - September 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Quite! It's like Weird Al does in his 'It's still Billy Joel to me' parody:

"Now everybody thinks the new wave is super
Just ask Linda Ronstadt or even Alice Cooper
It's a big hit, isn't it
Even if it's a piece of junk
It's still Billy Joel to me"
Lifeliver - September 28, 2012 - Report this comment
I always liked this song, touted by some as a prototype feminist anthem. I like the way you work through a menagerie of domestic critters (non-speciesist), ending with yourself (non-animalist). I'm incloned to award replicating 555s
Tommy Turtle - September 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: I suspected as much! Thanks for confirming!

LIfeliver: It was indeed a change from the usual boy-girl pop songs of the day. We didn't know until 2005 that Lesley was a Lesbey, but singing of equality among genders in a relationship during that era was, in retrospective, quite precursive.
    I always liked it, too, with the dramatic minor-key opening riff and drum triplets, and would always sing along if there were no humans within 50 miles. .... 555s are one exception in which I would permit all of the replicating you're incloned to do! Thanks for as many as you care to create. ;)

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