-> "I Am The Lay"
Original Song Title:
Parody Song Title:
"I Am The Lay"
Young girl, got an itch in your pants?
I said, Young girl, c'mon, let's take a chance
I said, Young girl, horizontally dance
I can make you very happy!
Young girl, through the front and back door
Boldly take you where no man's gone before
I'll respect you; treat you not like some wh*re
Cuddle warmly until we snore
It's fun to play in the Turtilian way
Go for a "ride" in his old Chevrolet
I have everything that young ladies enjoy
You can have fun with all my toys
Dear, I daresay you've a lovely bouquet
Come in and dine at the TT buffet
I've been STD-screened; disinfectedly cleaned
But not quite yet totally weaned
Young girl, are you listening to me?
I said, Young girl, want the Sade de Marquis?
No? Then, Young girl, Dominatrix art thee?
I am good at ev'ry fun thing!
No more must you do it yourself
Bunny-thumper: put it back on the shelf
And just "come" here - all your qualms, I'll al-lay
One hun-dred per-cent straight, not gay
Prepare yourself for a lovely soiree
I'm Tantric-talented: climax, delay
I've a bundle of tricks that I love to employ
Till you pass out from over-joy!
An exhibitionist? Charms on display?
Your territory I'd gladly survey
I'm a lovin' machine; got so much s*x apeal
Feel real zeal, squeal seailin' the deal
Young girl, I dont' look like Tom Cruise
But unlike him, I'll infuse til you ooze
I am "The Man"; cleverly can contrive
What you need: revive your s*x drive
So when Tommy crawls up to you
And says, Young girl, you look long overdue
I've a place near, called the Turtle Café
Risk? Nay! Risqué! What say? Okay!
It's safe to play at the TT chalet
Your loving trust, I would never betray
It's so swell in my shell; it's a nice place to dwell
We can hang out in my "hotel"
Come right this way!
I'm charismatic like JFK
Young girl, Young girl, I will gladly go down --
-- To the ... bus stop; catch that bus for downtown
I'm game to play
(I hope that I don't lose my toupee)
Young girl, Young girl, I'll get rid of your frown
Young girl, Young girl, pound your mound to the ground
(I took my Cialis™ today)
Pretty ... Woman ... What is that which I see?
Pretty ... Woman ... Yes! She walks back to me!
Ohhhh.... ohhh, Pretty Woman!
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||4.8|
|Total Votes: ||14|
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