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Song Parodies -> "God Only Knows What I'd Be Without Ewe"

Original Song Title:

"God Only Knows"

Original Performer:

The Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"God Only Knows What I'd Be Without Ewe"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Do ewe believe it? -- OS is from The Beach Boys' “PET SOUNDS” album! And check out the album cover at that video -- isn’t that a (ewe know what)? ....

... and hey, Boys. thanks for putting the “baa baa baa”s in the OS for me! Talk about being considerate to future parodists :) ... Had so much fun with it, threwe in an extra verse.

Women don't often love me
They must all think that they're above me
Still, I don't go without it
I’m always so sure about it!
God only knows what I'd be without ewe

No fear they'll ever leave me
No wife to rag, nag "Hon!", or grieve me
My flock don't want nothing from me
But wow, can a woman bum me!
Thank God, I know I've no need to doubt ewe

Baa baa baa baa
Baa,baa baa,
Baa baa baa baa...
Baa baa,
Baa, baa baa,
Baa baa...

Tom always knows: “wool-d” she? Oui! ¡Si! Spout: ewe

Dating? Ex-wife deceived me
Sex life has been long gone! Relieve me!
She didn't give nothing to me
Butt you're always there to do me
Marriage: it blows! Glad I found about ewe!

Marital woes: bad; I'm mad about ewe!

She wouldn't ever beave me
The ex: deny; high, dry, she'd leave me
Divorce: She left nothing to me
Ride wild and woolly: Ewe, me!
Wondrous repose grows; sheep "she", devout ewe!

God only knows, fav’rite spree: a stout ewe!
God only knows that for me, “girl scout”: ewe!
God only knows, guarantee: end drought, ewe

[repeat as often as you like, minus the nagging and whining and alimony payments, until you fade for the night]

The hardest part was getting the “baa”s right :) © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Fiddlegirl - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
A shear delight! Enth-ewes-iastic 5s from Dr. Doug Ross! ;)
blackjack21 - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Too many coincidences to be believed, this song was your destiny! Now if only it had been sung by the Beastiality Boys. Baaah!
AFW - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
I lamb, he said....Shear poetry...hope you wool accept these words of praise..even tho' ewe've probably herd them all before..Mr. Hugh Hoofner..and if so, just tell me to go flock myself..
Jason - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job. I saw the comment you left on my parody yesterday. I full-well know what happens if too much money is printed off, but I decided to write that parody as a joke. Sorry if I offended you in a way. Im glad that you were honest enough to say that you wanted to voted 1s on it but you didn't.
Mark Scotti - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Man, are you baaaaaaaaaaddd... LOL!! Funny one, TT!!
MadameTaTa - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
sir, what can I say to you, ~El Toro Mayor ~ ? ? Este es magnifico y
TJC - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
So punalicious, I tell ewe, it must be... Riffer Madness,! More salacious n' sagacious lex'chine gun subs than ewe can shake, well--a shtick--at! And all in lambic rent'hamburger too boot!
Andy Primus - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great bit of ovine punnery - how about Surfin' USA/Humpin' ewe all day next?
Tommy Turtle - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl: Thank ewe, but being not an "E.R." fan, wouldst kindly explain the Dr. Ross ref? (I aseweme that that 's the "Doug Ross" refurred to, no?

blackjack21: "Beastiality Boys" LOL! But hey, there are (or were) the Beastie Boys, right? Tewe bad they didn't dewe it! ..... Destiny, perhaps, but also the ninth (I think) sheeparody by moi, including "American Pie"/"A Shepherd Am I". Thanks for v/c/b! (vote/comment/baah)

AFW: No, "I lamb, he said", was not only original, but a great follow-up idea! Do ewe wish tewe dewe it? ... and Hoofner was a newe and good one, tewe! Thanks for v/c!

Jason: Thanks for the v/c, and in light of your comment, I revisited your parody. Check it out!

Mark Scotti: I sheepishly accept your praise!

MadameTaTa: ¡Gracias, muchacha!

TJC: A pun, another pun, in quick succession!
(that was an example of the "lambic pentameter" style you mentioned hehe). All good, but "Riffer Madness" was, well, so dis-joint-ingly funny, it rang the bong! Doobie assured of my grassitude for your pot of puns, without which weed all be much the poorer!

Andy Primus: Love it! ... and would make a fine counterpart to this author's previous work, "Back In The Ewe Ass, Us Are" (no link; you know how to find it if you care to). Just might do that some day ... and thanks for v/c!
Tommy's Little "Shell"per - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
TT: I thought I was the only person on the planet who never got into E.R. This Doug Ross, however, was Gene Wilder's character in the Woody Allen movie "All You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex". He's a psychiatrist who becomes obsessed with an Armenian sheep named Daisy. One viewing of the movie was enough for me, frankly, but this was a funny segment. :)
Tommy's Wilder Side - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Ms. Valium: That's interesting, because the Wikipedia search defaulted to Gorgeous Clooney's character, with the note,
"This article is about the ER character. For the Gene Wilder character, see Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask) (film)"
....which, somehow, I didn't expect to include a smegment about a doctor on the lamb. (never saw the movie. Allen's a perv anyway, as we all found out.)
But your clever punnick *forces* the plug of parody of the OS punned upon:
Judging from our other political comments, I think you'll find an a-Biden fondness for it. Thanks for the comment commentary (comment^2?)
alvin - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
as originally done by the bleat boys
TT - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
thanks alvin (lol)
Ann Hammond - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
TT - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Aaaaaann Haaaammooooond, thanks!
Peregrin - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
This was great! Anyone who doesn't find this funny is sailing on the ship of wools...
Tommy Turtle - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: "Ship of Wools" ROFL! ... after about 14 TT sheeparodies, ewe still managed to find a newe pun!

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