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Song Parodies -> "Losing (Don't Know Why) Your Hymen?"

Original Song Title:

"Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Losing (Don't Know Why) Your Hymen?"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

If we guys had a nickel for every time we've heard these stories... Ladies, we believe you, really we do... well, we *want* to believe you...

Picture yourself on a horse with a saddle
Equestrian jumps, all sev'ral poles high
Suddenly land on the horn as you straddle
Pain piercing, then fearsomely cry

Cellophane "flower", a membrane unseen
Showering, ready for bed
Look for the pearl you so carefully prize
And it's gone

Losing (don't know why) your hymen?
Losing (don't know why) your hymen?
Must be from that rope you're climbin'
Ahh, ahh...

Picture yourself doing gym on the vault horse...
Or rocking horse? Maybe, or merry-go-round
Lots of excuses from girls with no flowers
How lame all their fairy tales sound!

"Swear to you, I haven't done this before
"No man could take it away"
"Climbed over fence, maidenhead lost its shroud...
"It was gone"

Losing (don't know why) your hymen?
Losing (don't know why) your hymen?
Honeymoon: Don't like your timin'
Ahh, ahh...

Picture yourself: pogo stick, exercising
Ka-boing-a, ka-boing, to the ceiling it flies
Take one more bounce, but the ending's surprising
The stick makes a nick in your thighs...

Losing (don't know why) your hymen?
Losing (don't know why) your hymen?
Lucy scammed this guy for diamond!
Oh, no...

Loose? You scammed this guy for diamond!
Juicy scam, I buy a diamond
Truth see: Ma'am, good-bye to diamond!
Oh, go...

No actual hymens were harmed in the making of this parody. © 2007 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
OH.MY.GOD. (recovers jaw from floor and shakingly votes 555)
McKludge - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Where do you come up with this stuff? I'm sitting at work tearing up, this is so funny. 555
Jason - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
I have to agree with Agri's comment!
TT - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Everybody, this was directly inspired by a slightly different idea of alvin rhodes'. The outro line is alvin's. (The actual title switch and lyrics are TT's. ) He absolutely refused to take any credit -- what a cool guy! Thanks for the inspiration and the line, alvin.
John Barry - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
A diamond in the ruff.
AFW - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Great, yet, painful story...I could see this as a movie..or at least, a comedy show skit, with a young Carol Burnett playing the lead
alvin - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
i think i ruptured something reading this
TT - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee: thanks... sorry about your jaw :)

McKludge: I take no credit. The lyrics are beamed into my captive brain by aliens from their mothership on the dark side of the moon. Thanks, McK :)

Jason, thanks!

Johm Barry, lol! thanks :)

AFW: Interesting idea -- I'll shop it to the studios... or maybe it's a reality show lol? .... thanks A!

alvin: lol! not gonna ask what :) thanks alvin, and thanks again for a fantastic inspiration.
Kristof Robertson - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
What a great title switch! Stupendous, close-to-the-edge, funny writing here mate. "hymen" is such a cool word to use in a parody. 555+
renaldo - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
"maidenhead lost it's shroud", Wonderful hymenclature...ahh...nomenclature. 555
stuart mcarthur - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
from "cellophane flower" to "Ka-boing-a, ka-boing" this was utterly brilliant and hilarious TT - love the conversational rhythm of the lines too, which is the Holy Grail for me in parody-writing - big 555
TT - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Kristof Robertson: Your wish is my command, Master. Follow-up submitted for tomorrow. Thanks for the v/c and for the follow-up idea :)

renaldo: (lol! good one!) thanks! :)

stuart mcarthur: As opposed to our other Holy Grail, the Tasmania Down Under, I assume? ... thanks stuart :) :)
KarK - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Hi, man! Very risqué indeed, but a straight 555 from me. Very, very cleverly done! Brought a tear to my eye...
PMS - November 02, 2007 - Report this comment
I agree with renaldo and stuart
Tommy Turtle - May 28, 2008 - Report this comment
KarK, thanks. Yes, it's very sad... :)

PMS, thanks. Be sure to hold on to yours (lol?)

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