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Song Parodies -> "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Lace"

Original Song Title:

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"

Original Performer:

Roberta Flack

Parody Song Title:

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Lace"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Inspiration for follow-ups to Tuesday's parody of TOS came from comment by Appendoappendage ..... Intended to be the usual leering juvenility, but ended up as a love song. Didn't know TT had a romantic side, huh? ... lotta surprises in that shell. :)

The first time ever I saw your lace
And where your thong rose o'er your thi- -i -i -i -ighs
And the poon that it guards was the gift you gave
In the dark, to boyfriend's surprise, oh love!
Lightning, spark; can't transcend this prize

The first time ever I headed south
From near your heart, sweet globes subli- -i -i -i -ime
Felt my trembling start; feelings active, stirred
Ran your hair through my left hand, like glove
Soft and rare, each silky strand

And the first time ever I played with you
I felt your part, oh most divi- -i -i -i -ine
And you knew this boy was filled with mirth
At last! I ascend and climb my love
Unsurpassed, so I send this rhyme, my love

The first time ever I felt your place; heart, race!
Embrace your grace!

No footnotes, just a nice afterglow. © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Timmy1000 - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Good combo today - this one more racy than kinky
Mark Scotti - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderful twofer day from you, Tom!!!
lilCupCakes - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
very good, SenorTaTa . . . !
Appendoappendage - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Simply Transcendent... or was that 'Translucent'!? Poe-etry, er, becomes ewe, sir! Now if you could just please quiet down that damn beating heart of yours under the floor boards?
Tommy Turtle - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1000: yeah, tried to have two diff spins ... thanks for v/c, T1k.
Mark Scotti: And for the price of one! :) thanks, Mark!
lolCupCakes: Glad you enjoyed... thanks for v/c, lCC.
Appendoappendage: It wouldn't beat so hard if this pendulum with an axe blade weren't slowly lowering! ... thanks for v, c, and I (inspiration, Aa!
AFW - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody should be sung by "Fill Hair-is" Good job, TT
alvin - July 02, 2009 - Report this comment
ooh la la
Tommy Turtle - July 03, 2009 - Report this comment
AFW: (lol) thanks.
alvin: you, thank lah(ts)

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