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Song Parodies -> "Of Lovers: Compare Two"

Original Song Title:

"A Lover's Concerto / Minuet In G Major"

Original Performer:

The Toys / Johann Sebastian Bach/Christian Petzold

Parody Song Title:

"Of Lovers: Compare Two"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

In 1965, The Toys and their writers took Bach's ~1725 "Minuet In G Major", changed the time signature from 3/4 to 4/4, and poof! -- instant rock 'n roll melody. .... And you've gone your whole life without knowing that? -- How exactly have you survived? [1]

Pacing note: Took advantage of the OS stretching (second word, third line of each stanza) to two syllables, giving the parodist the juicy "fielder's choice" option of going with one- or two-syllable subs, as fit best. OS lyrics here. OS (Original Score) here, for the musically-interested. It's *free*, and beginner-level for any instrument, even the fiddle.

Gentle was sweet Jane
Who fe-ell softly on the bed, oh!
Whispered at my knees
Heavenly, the hours
Of our rhapsodies

Oh, oh, oh;

Wild, screaming thrill
Deli-ight: pleasure or to pain, go
Snatched up from above
Laid up in a truss
Kinky kind of love

Which one should I do?
Cause thi-is can't go on forever
Day they're gonna meet
Pound me black and blue
Top of head to feet

Oh, one --
Day they're gonna cry
And I-I: lonely nights without them
Both are true to me
Can't I evermore
Love them sep'rately?

Jane, for you I yearn
To ki-iss, place a ring and wed, oh, -
We'll --
Talk from brain to brain
Tenderly, make love
Cuddle close again

Oh, Sue
Held me in her arms
And screaming, passionately loved me
Neighbors; mailman, too
Shouting heartily
Do it! Do it! OOOOOOH!

Hold me with their charms
And sa-ay, each in their way, love me!
How can this be true?
All men's fantasy
Tearing me in two!

[1] Widely and longly (?) attributed to Bach, this writer learned only from the present research that this song was not among those in the book Bach gave to his wife, Anna, and that there were some blank pages in the bach -- er, back, where the family copied other songs they liked. Contemporary scholars believe Christian Petzold wrote it. Too late to take it Bach!

Of *course* it's autobiographical! :) Only the names have been changed, to protect my gonads. © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Very touching..torn between two lovers...I like it
Andy Primus - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Well surely it's got to be Sue
LadyTaTa - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Ahh Senor TaTa, ~ El ToroMayor ~ . . . Two by Two . . . that's the way Mr Noah liked it best !
Christie Marie M - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Ode to a love triangle! Don't we all wish we could love both lovers separately. It also reminds me that some married men I know have secret mistresses as well. 5's!
Tommy Turtle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
AFW: Nice sly ref to Mary MacGregor's song.. thanks for v/c.

Andy Primus: Jane had her pluses too, (brain to brain), and sometimes wild upsides have wild downsides.. Follow-up parody: "It Ain't Easy"? ... thanks for v/c.

Lady TaTa: Ha! Mr. Noah and I -- so, I'm Biblically OK?... thanks for v/c.

Christie Marie M: You're shi**ing me! Married men? No! .. only the Gov of S. Carolina, former Gov of New York, former pres B. Clinton, etc., etc.... thanks for v/c!
Fiddlegirl - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Ah, poor TT... when wilt thou and thy brethren ever learn... you just can't have your Kate and Edith, too!
TJC - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
So, basically, yer tellin' me Bach'sarat?!
This was truly a novel and interesting foray into the decomposing composers--and, were one perverse enough, one might even say you'd gone... Bach To The Feweture, eh?
TT - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl: ROFL!!! ... But what women don't understand is that two birds in the bush is way better than one in the hand... We're wired that way, alas, so you need to speak to the Great Electrician about that.

(Optional serous reply, to be skipped by most:)
Women can have only one child per year, while men can father a hundred or more -- and so have an overwhelming urge at least to go through the motions of trying.

TJC: Hey, there were no sheep in this one! Cripes, I *finally* write about human females, and TJC rags on me still.... :) :) :) and obviously, one is perverse enough, since one said it. (seriously, thanks for LOL comment and vote as always, T!)
p.s. Nice subjunctive -- did the email message actually stick, or did ya already know that particular usage?
@ TT - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
"But what women don't understand is that two birds in the bush is way better than one in the hand..."

Old Man Ribber - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Turtlenator: I'll be Bach! ;D
TT - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Cock-shucker: LOL!: But I truly expected:
"Cock-a-duo-do ;-)

Old Man Ribber: ROFL! Good one, OMR! .. thanks for v/c!
@TT - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(!) How'd THAT get past the censors? ;) - FG
Don't read this - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
FG, song submissions are reviewed by editors *before* being posted. That's one reason that they don't show in real time, but only in a single daily update. Comments, as perhaps you've noticed,. show immediately. There are far too many (think about it) for every one to be reviewed, but you'll notice the little "report this comment" link next to the author and date. Reported comments, if agreed by the admins to be offensive, are removed very, very rapidly. So I guess no one reported the harmless little pun -- and perhaps you'd be kind enough not to? ... it's a lot milder than much of what gets posted all over the Web, TV, etc. these days anyway, though admins have the final say, of course. I can tell you that the admins do seem to adjust to the changing standards of the Net, where any 8-yr-old can read just about anything, including "adult" sites, because songs are being posted these days that might not have made it three or four years ago. Let's all try to keep it in good fun and not get gross or disgusting, and maybe we can have our little double-entendres, puns, etc. Cheers.
Peregrin - September 20, 2012 - Report this comment
A terrible dilemma for you! Thought FG's first comment was classic!
Tommy Turtle - September 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregin: Agree on both. Thanks for the read/comment!

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