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Song Parodies -> "I Feel Sh--ty"

Original Song Title:

"I Feel Pretty"

Parody Song Title:

"I Feel Sh--ty"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

For those whose party was a little too "super".
I feel sh--ty
Oh, so sh--ty
I feel sh--ty, tongue gritty, not right
And I pity
Anyone who feels like me tonight

I feel sleepy
Oh, so sleepy
Yes, it's creepy how sleepy I feel
And so sh--ty, that the world somehow does not seem real

See that haggard slob in that mirror there
Who can that poor, wretched wreck be?
See that tired face
See those bloodshot eyes
See those purple bags
See that messed-up me!

I feel draggy
Muscles aching
Feel so saggy, like taking a nap
For my head
Is a cauterized carton of crap!

OTHERS:
Have you met my good friend, The Turtle?
The sorriest sap in the sea?
He has such a headache to hurdle
He's the one who's been "shell"-shocked so miserably

He had so much fun
Drank so much champagne
But that was last night
This morning is pain

A party replete
With cup after cup
And too much to eat
So now, he'll throw up

What a change for him
Poor bambino
This is not the nice
Turtle we know!

Modest and pure
Polite and restrained
Well-bred and mature
Now utterly drained!

TOMMY:
I feel sh--ty
Oh, so sh--ty
Won't the city give heed to my plea?
And take pity
Al-gi-dity has overcome me

OTHERS:
La la la la la
La la la...

TOMMY:
I feel sated
I feel stinking
Nauseated from drinking that wine
And so dizzy
That I think I'd better just recline


OTHERS:
La la la la la
La la la la la...

TOMMY:
See that ghastly guy in that mirror there:

OTHERS:
What mirror where?

TOMMY:
Who can that sad, sickly shell be?

OTHERS:
Which? What? Where? Whom?

TOMMY:
Such a mournful face
Such distateful breath
Such a vapid smile
Such a sh--ty me!

OTHERS:
Such a sh--ty me!

ALL:
I feel cruddy
I feel lousy
I feel muddy and frowsy like slime
For I'm sick
From a pretty wonderful time!


The author cannot even remember the "night before" that inspired this, but he assumes it must have been worth it. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 3
 2
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
sp--fy
Agrimorfee - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
A little lazy in some lyric changes...but you were able to knock out a parody that I'm sure many a deranged Broadway showtune appreciator (like myself) had thought of in their quiet times. 555
Phil Alexander - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice use of words: if google is right, you're only the fourth person to use "vapid" in a parody.. and cruddy/lousy/muddy/frowsy was kind of fun, too.
Johnny D - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
" Algidity ", now THERE's a cool word !
AFW - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
good work...full production here..fives
PMS - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
What Phil said.
Larry Hensley - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Amazing parody, 555s
Tommy Turtle - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
alvin, th--k you... PMS, thanks, guess I should have taken "Advil in the Morning"... Phil, Johnny, thanks, you know what they say, "If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with (novel verbiage, e.g.)!" ... and Johnny, good pun.... AFW, thanks, and thanks for continued inspiration (see Wed. 8 Feb).

Agrimorfee, sorry if the cunning linguisms that PA, JD, and PMS cited didn't compensate for what I like to refer to as "keeping some of the flavor of the original"; critique duly noted, and thanks for the vote.
TJC - May 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Loves me them big White Way production numbers and this did not disappoint! Lexellent throughout... seems your Best Side's Hoary*!
[* as in artificially aged through EtOH consumption]
Tommy Turtle - May 28, 2009 - Report this comment
TJC: Thanks ... been trying to switch from EtOH to OTOH... and next week's long-teased efforts may have something to say about EthylMermanol. (Ethyl -- what a weird thing to name yer girl! Why not "Isopropane?)
Glen S - March 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Once had this idea for this song, but couldn't have pulled it off as well as this. Enjoyed this 'night after' write, especially the 'draggy/aching/saggy/taking' stanza.
Tommy Turtle - March 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Glen S: Given that this song was posted on TT's ninth day here, that's quite the compliment, thanks! ... Just looked: DK that you've been here since late 2003 (as you only just told me your nym). I've missed a lot of good stuff! But I *swore* to finish my @#$% Income Taxes this weekend -- "Wok Alone" = awesome title switch. :-D

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