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Song Parodies -> "Spider-Man And Marijuana: Better Explanation"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"Spider-Man And Marijuana: Better Explanation"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Comments from readers indicated that the original version of this parody, posted on Monday 8 January 2007, wasn't very clear... Run-together lines, lack of usual footnotes, etc... So, I'm taking the probably unprecedented (and probably unacceptable) step of re-submitting it in what is hoped to be a clearer version. Not fishing for any more votes or comments, except perhaps as to whether this one is or isn't easier to follow.

Dumb Klem Kadiddlehopper, klutz of a guy
Though he is Spider-Man, he can't catch a fly

Spider-Man loves Mari Juana; everybody knows it!
Face has such a vacant look it obviously shows it
If you doubt it, just observe how constantly he blows it


Spider-Man loves Mari Juana; everybody knows it!
He tells a little whopper; white kind of lie
If he should come a cropper, now you know why!


Poor Peter Parker played the part
Of picture-perfect dork [1]
He tripped and stumbled clumsily
At college and at work
Most folks assumed quite naturally
That Peter was a jerk


The honest explanation was
He had a secret quirk! Lurk!

Spider-Man loves Mari Juana; no, this isn't fiction!
Psycho-logic habit formed; it borders on addiction
Messes up his mind, this inescapable affliction
Almost turned his heroism into dereliction!

Not happy with his life as hero or nerd
Flight from reality is what he preferred


Denies that he is really hooked;
Refuses to admit;
At any time he wanted to,
He thinks that he could quit


The Spider doesn't rea-
-lize how badly bug has bit [2]
He's come undone in web he spun [3]
He's trapped like any nit! [4]


Aunt May's always telling him, "You don't look well a lot, son
"Wish that I could figure out this problem that you've got, son
"Hope it isn't HIV or other bug you've caught, son [2]
"Peter, please confide in me; please tell me what oh what, son!" [5]

Why can't a physics geek have high-paying job?
What turns his brain to mush; this genius, to slob?


You know, he talks all ass-backwards
Mumbles knowsitbodyeveryjuanamarimanlovesredips
This wack's going a bit too far,
Don't you think?


Impairs his normal faculties
His mental sharpness, blunts

Can't hear!

He tried without success
To kick the habit twice or once
In spite of secret he bemoans
Still, evildoers: hunts

Um, your opinion?



While he thinks it's a merry Jones [6]
I'd call him "cursed" and "dunce"! [7]

Oh, and a f***-up thing he is, too!


He loves Mari Juana and so painfully he missed her
All that Peter ever did was treat her like a sister
Wonder how for all those years he managed to resist her?
Till the end of version two when finally he kissed her!

I predict that very soon they'll be "Mrs." and "Mr."!

[1] "Picture-perfect" = Peter was a photographer.
[2] Spiders catch bugs.
[3] Trapped in his own self-inflicted "web".
[4] "Nit" = egg or infant of a parasitic insect, as might be caught in a spiderweb.
[5] (what, oh) "what, son" = "Watson" (Mary Jane Watson, Peter's heartthrob).
[6] "merry Jones" = Mary Jane.
[7] "cursed and dunce" = Kirsten Dunst, who played Mary Jane Watson.

Love is the most powerful drug of all... "Marijuana" is Spanish for "Mary Jane", right?... "Spider-man" © Marvel Characters, Inc. All else © 2007 Tommy "Turtle-Man" Turtle.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
"Cursed" And "Dunce" = LOL!!!!!!!! Thanks for clearing this mess up... With great humor comes great responcibility
Paul Robinson - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
You put a lot of work into re-spiffing this one, TT...I appreciate the effort, but in all honesty I hate the OS so much that I just couldn't wade through it all, even though it looks pretty funny. I voted on one "Supercalif"-whatever piece today because the title drew me in - the piece connected with a personal experience from my youth, but I guess that was my limit. I have found that some OS material I'm just totally allergic to.
alvin rhodes - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
in my state, nothing is easy to follow, but i enjoyed
Ann Hammond - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice fixing up
Tommy Turtle - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Matthias: Great line!!!! ... I'll make that my slogan :)

Paul Robinson: No problem; I'll keep that in mind on your future parodies, the last seven of which I voted on despite NKTOS at all. Thanks for stopping by.

alvin rhodes: yeah, California is like that... or did you mean your personal state? lol... thanks. :)

Ann Hammond, thanks. Thoughtful feedback helps us all get better!
Agrimorfee - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow, great puns, multiple characters, variant choruses, and to top it all off you even parodied Dick & Julie's dialogue (which not everone does in the "Supercali" parody genre). Super job!
TT - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee, thanks!

Matthias, I just changed my 00s profile to use the slogan from your line... let me know if you object. Good one!
Matthias - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Glad to be of service
Paul Robinson - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
No problem, TT - enjoy what you like of mine, leave the rest behind, you know? My time's a little cramped these the "Income Tax Software Support" field and we are already in the "near frantic" stage with "Pre-Filing Date" bank loan stuff, which is not a whole lot of fun as far as I'm concerned. I enjoy your comments on my pieces, if you're not familiar with the OS feel free to not vote, it's Ok.
Jango - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow, you really knocked yourself out here- I love the puns and fun rhythms employed, and all of the extras you put in were great! I didn't see the first version you submitted, but this one is super--cali--you know the rest!
TT - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Jango, thanks!

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