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Song Parodies -> "'Bama's Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Bobby's Girl"

Original Performer:

Marcie Blaine

Parody Song Title:

"'Bama's Guy"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

It was probably long overdue, so as a member of the new bottom-of-the-rung minority (heterosexual white males), here's a graceful bow-out. ... Hope it's taken in the (good-natured, humorous) spirit in which it was intended. OS lyrics here. MIDI here.

(You're just not cool anymore)
(You're just not cool anymore)

When people ask of me,
"What would you like to be
"Now that white folks ain't cool anymore?"
(You're white, not cool anymore)

I know just what to say
(I'll pass on being gay)
"I wanna be that dude they adore"

I wanna be -- 'Bama's guy
I wanna be -- Black, do I
That's the coolest, hippest thing to be
And if I were -- black as night
So uptight, out of sight
Find myself on MSNBC!

I sit at home each night
Staring at skin that's white
The girls want someone else to be with
(You're white, not cool anymore)

But in my heart I pray
That I'll wake up some day
And find that I look just like Will Smith

Don't wanna be -- redneck hick
(But also not -- Michael Vick)
Just some cat who walks cool nat'rally

And if I were -- Tyson-like
(Neil Degrasse -- no, not Mike) [1]
I'd be such a cool glass of Ice-T
Mucho cootch-o, that would guarantee!

I wanna be -- like Barack
I wish I could -- roll 'n rock
And then, to me -- girls would flock
(repeat, but don't fade [the tan]; get darker instead)

[1] Neil deGrasse Tyson is an African-American astrophysicist and Director of New York City's Hayden Planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan. He's hosted PBS's educational television show "NOVA scienceNOW" and has made multiple appearances on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, and Jay Leno. (Bio courtesy of Wikipedia.)

Unusually large amount of OS kept, 'cuz it was just too appropriate (other than correcting "if I was" to the subjunctive "if I were" lol). © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Invisible Boy - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
I feel your pain, TT.This had some funny gags and cool references.
I was clapping along...on "1" and "3"...
TJC - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Tommy--a real hoot that got me so all empathatic-like that, dude, I feel your Blaine! No 1962-esque one-hit-wonder here! [BTW, the revised official definition of 'whoosh!'? The sound of two white guys make while muffing a knuckle bump.]
alvin - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
lol...i love it....and it so much more polite than lou reed's "i wanna be black"
Poli-tick-ly Incorrect - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
This was just terrible. How lame can you get? I have to give this 111.
Warmonger - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Uh oh... Looks like we blasphemed someone's Messiah! I was thinking it was more in the 3-4 rating range for humor until I saw PI's complaint. If it pisses off the worshipers that much, it must be really funny!
Agrimorfee - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
(Aw, go drink a Magnum, PI.)Tommy, a wacky idea, but you'd better off name-checking less obscure African American astrophysicists if you REALLY wanna make a hit with the masses, you know? Nice Barack n roll pop. 545
Andria - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job, Tommy, and it's not as bad as Poli-tick-ly Incorrect said. 5s.
Your Mom - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
What Andria said, it's not that bad at all. Mr. Poli probably gave 1 for pacing because he hates O'Bama. Poli-, you are asking for trouble. If you don't like the content, be sure to respect the pacing before bombing with 1's in every category, that's uncalled for. (Nice Pun Agri.) I will definitely give this 5 for pacing.
Mr. K - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Your Mom, the name of our new President is "Obama", not "O'Bama". Note the lack of an apostrophe between o and b, his name is Swahili, not Irish. 555.
Tommy Turtle - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Ahh, nothing like stirring up a little controversy :D
Invisible Boy, thanks.
TJC, thanks (lol).
alvin, thanks.... yep, mr. polite, that's me! :)
Warmonger: I like your logic! Thanks WM!
Agrimorfee: LOL on the pun... looking forward to you sending me the names of some less-obscure African-American astrophysicists :) :) :) thanks Ag.
Andria, thanks. PI didn't faze me -- response below.
Your Mom: Good job of explaining to PI the distinction between "funny" and "pacing". Continual problem at this site with Una-bombing just cuz you step on someone's toes. Thanks for v/c.
Mr. K: Ya coulda' fooled me - I had him pegged as Irish for sure lol! Thanks for v/c.

Poli-tick-ly Incorrect: Sorry you missed the "(good-natured, humorous)" disclaimer in the intro. Since this is a *parody* site, what's here is often "facetious" (that means "joking"), and Political Correctness is one thing we love to skewer.
"Pacing" refers to how well the parody matches the original in rhyme scheme, meter, and scansion. I assume that you're very familiar with the OS, "Bobby's Girl", so I'd be grateful if you could point out the numerous pacing errors that I must have made to earn the 1. Otherwise, what Your Mom said applies. Thanks for stopping by.
AFW - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny stuff, Mr. TT
TT - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
AFW, thanks.
John Jenkins - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good satire. But the most humorous thing on this page is the observation that the political incorrectness of the parody went right over head of the artist who calls himself "Poli-tick-ly Incorrect ."
Below Average Dave - January 26, 2009 - Report this comment
I agree with that statement John, I have to be honest with you---not of my style here (not a big political parody guy because I tend not to agree with either party) but despite differences with some of the opinions expressed, I respect that you expressed your opinion respectfully, as always well written.
Tommy Turtle - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
John Jenkins: I too thought the nick and comment to be oxymoronic -- "Politically Correct" would have corresponded more to the comment. As for going over his/her head -- it wasn't much of a leap :) :) :) thanks for v/c, John.

Below Average Dave: Thanks for your honest commentary. I too tend to disagree with both parties (my Palin parodies were all pretty much physical, just like my real rela -- n/m :D ) May I suggest you try They too disagree with both parties, so you might find them to your liking. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Agrimorfee - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Tommy, you should note that PI is not bombing you because he disagrees with your content. He is bombing you because one of his parodies, which spouted terrible racist humor and even imagined the death of Obama, got banned.
Tommy Turtle - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee, thanks much for clarifying that.
btw, how's that list of AA-astroguys coming along? :) :) :)

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