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Song Parodies -> "Tijuana, Know A Secret"
Original Song Title:
"Do You Want To Know A Secret?"
Original Performer:
The Beatles
Parody Song Title:
"Tijuana, Know A Secret"
Parody Written by:
Tommy Turtle
The Lyrics
Like so many others in life and on screen, the author fondly recalls losing his innocence in a Mexican guesthouse.
You'll never know how much it really costs you
You'll never know until you really dare....
Listen
("Hey, there, you!")
Tijuana, know a secret?
(Do I screw?)
"Do you promise not to smell?"
Whoa, oh, oh
Closer....
(Urge, pursue)
"Fifty pesos, pardner, here...
(Join the queue)
"Or go stick it in your ear
"Twenty bucks'll do..."
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Bitchin'
(Ache, accrue)
Tijuana took my secret
(Sex, ensue)
Tales the Turtle's got to tell
Whoa, oh, oh
Poser:
(Newb, no clue)
Seňorita Puta*, dear
(Who, me woo?)
Stands by street with lurid leer
Nooky: to me, new!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
I've had this discharge for a week or two
Where it came from -- can't guess who!
Itchin'
(Ooh, I rue)
Tijuana made me secrete
(This ain't flu)
Made my privates drip and swell,
Oo -- oo -- oo -- ooze
Dose her!
(And me, too)
Doc, I need a shot, I fear
(Syph: imbue)
Penicillin in the rear
Caught V. D. from you!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
You'll never know until you really dare....
Listen
("Hey, there, you!")
Tijuana, know a secret?
(Do I screw?)
"Do you promise not to smell?"
Whoa, oh, oh
Closer....
(Urge, pursue)
"Fifty pesos, pardner, here...
(Join the queue)
"Or go stick it in your ear
"Twenty bucks'll do..."
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Bitchin'
(Ache, accrue)
Tijuana took my secret
(Sex, ensue)
Tales the Turtle's got to tell
Whoa, oh, oh
Poser:
(Newb, no clue)
Seňorita Puta*, dear
(Who, me woo?)
Stands by street with lurid leer
Nooky: to me, new!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
I've had this discharge for a week or two
Where it came from -- can't guess who!
Itchin'
(Ooh, I rue)
Tijuana made me secrete
(This ain't flu)
Made my privates drip and swell,
Oo -- oo -- oo -- ooze
Dose her!
(And me, too)
Doc, I need a shot, I fear
(Syph: imbue)
Penicillin in the rear
Caught V. D. from you!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
*Polite translation: "prostitute". © 2006 Tommy Turtle.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
STD (Spectacular Tommy Ditty !) to my favorite parodist. What a hoot. I 'specially loved the parenthetics inserted where the Beatles only did "woo-oo-oo." Scares me to say that you outdid even them. 5cc, 5cc 5cc, 3 times a day, 8 days this week...
Never heard the original song(as far as I can remember), but this is pretty ammusing nevertheless.
Muy entretenido, señor. Cincos de me-o.
donde esta la casa del gato, por favor ?...parodia primo
Going, going, ghonorrea......this deserves a clap..er, applause
Paree Dee, thanks, love increased challenge, e.g. subbing real lyrics for "fa-la-las" in TT "Buddy Holly" tribute.
Step-chan (is that your approved nick? - seen it here), thanks, hard to have avoided it at the time or for a decade after...John Barry, el gusto es mio, y gracias...
alvin, thanks; go south on I-5 past San Diego and San Ysidro; then stop at the first "red light" you see, or at any of the next 3000 of them lol.
AFW, thanks,lol. :) ... funny and punny comments, everyone, thanks!
Step-chan (is that your approved nick? - seen it here), thanks, hard to have avoided it at the time or for a decade after...John Barry, el gusto es mio, y gracias...
alvin, thanks; go south on I-5 past San Diego and San Ysidro; then stop at the first "red light" you see, or at any of the next 3000 of them lol.
AFW, thanks,lol. :) ... funny and punny comments, everyone, thanks!
I had the worst taco I've ever eaten in Tijuana (interpret that as you will) - funny stuff, TT - 555
Funny one, TT. 555
Stuart McArthur (lol), Rick C, thanks.
This should be on Mexican radio. 555's
Larry, thanks... As an advertisement, or as a warning? lol
Great stuff, TT. Really liked the Closer/Poser/Dose her rhyme scheme. My take on the STD situation can be found here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/julieandrews32.shtml Thanks again for the info, brother. Take care.
Dee Range, thank you, and you're welcome... I saw your STD/Supercal when prepping my own Supercals; will give it the look it deserves when the time it deserves is available.
Would you or your sister be offended if I were to post a song of encouragement to you both?
Would you or your sister be offended if I were to post a song of encouragement to you both?
Watson! Another gem I've uncovered years late! And this one's literally drippin' n' oozing with hifalutin' lowbrow comedy... tricky phrasing abounds n' hounds... it's veritable ZOUNDS@STD.schlong, Sherlock!
TJC: Can you hook me up with Mary Jane Watson, and give me a sure-lock on her? .... oh, you weren't referring to *that* Watson... well, thanks for v/c, and watch out that the spambots don't harvest that e-mail!
Loved this title, Senor TaTa . Have a fun weekend, sir !
LadyNorCAL: Thank you so much, Seňorita del Norte de California! Stay away from those SoCAL quakes and fires, and have a great fin de semana tambien, dama!
5s for the parody. More 5s for the combination of "fondly recalls losing his innocence" and "Tijuana made me secrete...Made my privates drip and swell"
Replacment following line: "Woah! Woah! WOAH! No Sir!"
Replacment following line: "Woah! Woah! WOAH! No Sir!"
Peregrin: It was already too late ... ;) Thanks for choosing the author's fave line also, the switch on "secret".
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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