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Song Parodies -> "Tell Laura I Dunked Her"

Original Song Title:

"Tell Laura I Love Her"

Original Performer:

Ray Peterson

Parody Song Title:

"Tell Laura I Dunked Her"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Of course, *all* writers here are better than this poor, fictional character*. And how cool is it that the OS character was also named Tommy? :D ... Marilyn Michaels recorded a follow-up called "Tell Tommy I Miss Him" (sniff!) .... Tear-jerking OS lyrics here.

Laura and Tommy were writers
Mucked up mangled mock'ries, fun to sing
Nice songs, l'ewe'd songs
(It seems for sheep, he had a "thing")

But there were times that he knocked her pace
"You'd better syllab-lize", she read
He triple-One'd Laura; made her groan
And to her readers, Tommy said,

"Tell Laura I dunked her
"Tell Laura, I Three'd her
"Tell Laura, self-educate
"There's much you must do, to Five-ly rate"

Her song was marred on its pacing grounds
He was the nittest-picker there
The insults poured, at parodic disgrace
Forth and back they wove, from his carapace

Putrid prose: how crappy, that day
(Be-come glum, chum?)
Why, her song drew just trolls and flames
But as she told him she would wring his neck,
"Turtle: Die, Macbeth!", she heard him say,

(Mum? Numb? Suc-cumb)
"Tell Laura I flunked her
(From crumb, plumb some)
"Tell Laura, won't read her
"Tell Laura: harder, try
"Or stuff from her, it will not fly"

And as they grapple, and Laura prays
That from Tommy, she'd earn his praise
He worked just with Laura; abide, she tried
Alone at the puter, see her fingers fly

(I've been outdone)
"Tell Laura, I love her
(Fun, hon: you won)
"Tell Laura: succeed, her
"Tell Laura, talent thrives
"Hereof, for her: forever Fives"

(Sec-ond to none)
"Tell Laura, I love her
(Her songs, I hum)
"Tell Laura, I love her
[repeat and fade for dozens and hundreds more outstanding parodies]
(Cogito, sum)
"No longer above her....."

* No reference intended to an author listed in the Author Page named "Laura", who apparently posted 13 parodies on one day in 2001, and was never heard from again. Parody character strictly fictional. (Laura, of course, not Tommy. :) © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done, TT. I, on the other hand, had no problems with "Laura's" lack of skill...until she kept stinging my work with straight 1s. lol ;D
2Eagle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
That old groaner made me gag.
AFW - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Laura, Tommy dunked youl...Oh, I thought you meant that, literally..terrific writing, TT
LadyTaTa - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Lord TaTer, el ~ToroMayor~ this is quite good, but I agree that Gents make for better writers . . .
Christie Marie M - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Great parody! Worked well with the OS! That's too bad for "Laura", though! She got flunked by Tommy! 5's!
Tommy Turtle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
OMR: Another "quid pro quo" voter, are ya? :) Thanks for v/c.

2Eagle: Betcha don't like "Teen Angel" or "Last Kiss" either, huh... it was a whole genre (WP has an article on "Teenage Tragedy Songs", the genre probably inspired by the deaths of James Dean, Buddy Holly et al. ... thanks for v/c.

AFW: It *was* literal -- (or lottoral lol) hehe! ... thanks for v/c.

LadyTaTA: Thanks for v/c, but over the years, we've had some very fine writers of the feminine persuasion. Some of the best seem no longer to be posting -- Meriadoc and PMS to name just two, and the [female] Royce Miller went to Rock'n-Roll Parody Heaven a while ago. adagio graces us occasionally, and among the newer crop, I believe there are fine prospects. Thanks again.

Christie Marie M: But the ending was happy! ... unlike the song :) Missed ya the last couple days -- hows school? And thanks for v/c!
Fiddlegirl - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
*Sigh*... I'm just a sucker for a happy ending... yahoo! :)
TJC - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Flunkin' Turtles ! (I'll bet they flock, too!) Great take on the OS with an astringent beginning and syrupy pending...
Mark Scotti - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
She must have been "shell shocked" after that! Teaching Turtle in room 555....
Andria - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Great parody, TT, and I agree with 2Eagle on not liking teenage tragedy songs. This is related to both LadyTaTA's comment and your response: how do I compare to the likes of Royce Miller, Meriadoc and PMS, among the other female parodists, in your opinion? I['ll give this parody 5s.
Guy - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir Tortoise - You're pretty quick for a slow reptile. Loved the "one one one one" line. This parody is very nicely written.

So you actually drilled down through all the stuff on this site to determine that this Laura person did 13 parodies in one day and vanished into oblivion? She must have had them written and found this site and dumped them all in one day. I was writing parody for a talk radio show host in 2003. I had ten written and he was working on getting some of them recorded and played on his show but his bosses shut him down. I was searching for lyrics one day and found So on May 26, 2003, I dumped 10 parodies on the site and began writing - I will have 898 parodies tomorrow if ChuckyG posts them which he should. Wonder how many this Laura would have by now if she stuck to it.
Tommy Turtle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl: Thanks for v/c to this hot male!

TJC: Can't wait for that pending syrup! .. and yes, have seen many turtles flocking together in a small, freshwater stream. LOL at "a-stringent"! ... thanks for v/c!

Mark Scotti: After these lessons, she took much better cara pacing, I assure you :) .. and as Red Ant used to (jokingly) call me, Tommy Tutor :) .. thanks for v/c, Mark!

Andria: That's not really a fair question or comparison, since between them, Royce and Merry have posted over a thousand parodies. Keep on workin' and learnin', and given your obvious creativity, there's no doubt that as your experience grows, so will your rep, too. Thanks for v/c, Andria!

Guy: What drill? Go to , do a search for "laura", and it's right there. For a techie like yerself, Guy, I'm surprised you'd have thought that gaining the info was difficult.

FWIW, the noob TT posted 10 on his first day, but accidentally. Subbed 3 on Friday -- DK there was no Saturday update, so figured they'd been rejected. Subbed 4 more on Saturday. Ditto Sunday. Subbed 3 on Sunday. All ten showed Monday -- but at least it got people's attention :) (They thought it was deliberate. Nope, just snoobpidity.)

Also FWIW, after that start, I hit 100 parodies in less than 3 months, so if I'd kept up that pace and not taken any breaks, I'd have about 1500 now -- and be stark raving bonkers (like I'm not already hahah).

We have a lot of peeps who submit a few, and when not met with overwhelming adulation, give up. This "Laura" wrote all 13 to the same band's songs, and a quick glance showed nothing particularly creative. Thanks for v/c, Guy.
UnKnownVotrix - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
. . . Danke, mein Herr !
Schildkröte - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
UnKnownVotrix : Bitte, mein Frau(lein?)!
Fun Facts - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Decca Records in England decided not to release Ray Peterson's 1960 recording on the grounds that it was "too tasteless and vulgar", and destroyed about twenty thousand copies that had already been pressed. An alternate cover version by Ricky Valance, released by EMI on the Columbia label, was #1 on the British charts for three weeks. So there! :P

Decca's im-deccable judgment was confirmed by the fact that in 1962, they turned down a chance to record a group called The Beatles, telling Beatles' manager Brian Epstein: "We don’t like their sound, and ‘guitar music’ is on the way out".... The understatement of the century, courtesy of Wikipedia: "In retrospect, this was a historic mistake." (ya think?)

(accidentally omitted from parody by pea-brain)

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