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Song Parodies -> "Fake Knockers"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:

"Fake Knockers"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Ladies, please! -- quality, not "quantitty!"
Fake knockers
Mam-mar-ies, mere molehills made mountainly
By sur-ger-y

Such mistake knockers
Feel so hard, as hard as a box of rocks
Filled with e-pox'

Charming chest, it's the best you have seen
Pretty pouches pumped plump with saline
Such a sucker, sir! Know when you've kissed 'em
Some M. D. has
Artificed 'em!....

Fake knockers
Braless breasts, cute crests carve such seemly swell
Made by Mattel!

Juicy jugs jutting out on their own
Big bazongers blessed by si-li-cone
How exciting can grope in the car be?
When you're really
Feeling Barbie!...

Fake knockers
Drooling guy, a titular lie you're told
Those boobs are cold
They're not warm, they're cold
So darn cold
They're stone cold
They're not warm, they're cold
So darn cold
They're stone co-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-old!

The author finds the whole situation udderly ridiculous. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   2
 4   2
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice alltiteration. This tune couild travel as a pair with my "Cones." And check out that sublime album cover on the right, fourth from the bottom. 5s
alvin rhodes - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
i admired the acutely astute alliteration as well
Johnny D - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
TT, you win the booby prize, the secrets of which shall require you to DeLVe into the mysteries of Swollen Numerals.
Michael Pacholek - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't know... some good lines, but I can only give it a 007 on a scale of 010.
Larry Hensley - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but funny stuff.
Tommy Turtle - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
John, Alvin, thanks, a lot of people have called me "alliterate", or something like that... and John, happy to provide the opportunity for a plug; do I get a fee per click-through?
Johnny D, Michael, thanks, but each of you lost me in the second half of your comments -- I must have spent all the neurons on writing. Explain, please??
Agrimorfee - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Chilling! 555
Tommy Turtle - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Agrimorfee.
TT - August 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Johnny D, it only took me a year and a half, but I finally got the "DLV" pun. Turtles are slow, but we get there eventually :)
Peregrin - August 25, 2012 - Report this comment
Massive parody. Unreal in parts.
Tommy Turtle - August 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: ROFL!!!

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