Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
Song Parodies -> "Don't Patty-Cake Me, Oh, My Darlin'"
Original Song Title:
"High Noon (Do Not Forsake Me)"
Original Performer:
Frankie Laine / Tex Ritter
Parody Song Title:
"Don't Patty-Cake Me, Oh, My Darlin'"
Parody Written by:
Tommy Turtle
The Lyrics
Back in the days of the Old West, men were men, and brides were "virgins", a species long since extinct. Here, the author tries to persuade his bride to consummate their honeymoon. Pretty close OS is here; instrumental midi is here (search "noon"); and it looks as though no one else here has done it! This OS is an AmIRight-virgin!!!
Don't patty-cake me, oh, my darlin'
On this, our wedding... ni-ight
Just "shake 'n bake" me, oh, my darlin'
Sex, "in sight"!*
So, come to bed; your fate: awaitin'
Stop blushing so; you must be brave!
'Cause I'm so sick of masturbatin'
Don't be a coward, nor look so soured
"Forever" vow heard; Word, I gave
Oath of love made, and I'm so horny
Tired of lookin' at pictures porn-y
Put your hand, please, upon my schlong
Nearin' mid-ni-ight!
All of your life, you've been a virgin
'Spite of my frantic, fervent urgin'
You're lookin' pale as death, but, oh! -
It won't last long, please, believe me!
Not thirty seconds, will it take me:
'Til you're no longer "blushing bride"
Your climax, darlin', please, don't fake me
When I am deep in, don't think of sleepin'
Squeeze, please: keep keepin' me inside!
Waited long, (way too long) way along,
Way I long; lay, I long
(Achy dong, take her thong, pound her bong, ring her gong)
On this, our wedding... ni-ight
Just "shake 'n bake" me, oh, my darlin'
Sex, "in sight"!*
So, come to bed; your fate: awaitin'
Stop blushing so; you must be brave!
'Cause I'm so sick of masturbatin'
Don't be a coward, nor look so soured
"Forever" vow heard; Word, I gave
Oath of love made, and I'm so horny
Tired of lookin' at pictures porn-y
Put your hand, please, upon my schlong
Nearin' mid-ni-ight!
All of your life, you've been a virgin
'Spite of my frantic, fervent urgin'
You're lookin' pale as death, but, oh! -
It won't last long, please, believe me!
Not thirty seconds, will it take me:
'Til you're no longer "blushing bride"
Your climax, darlin', please, don't fake me
When I am deep in, don't think of sleepin'
Squeeze, please: keep keepin' me inside!
Waited long, (way too long) way along,
Way I long; lay, I long
(Achy dong, take her thong, pound her bong, ring her gong)
*also "incite". Academy-award winning OS was sung by Tex Ritter in the Gary Cooper movie. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I see you've been hittin' the books again, I won't say what kind. 5's
Adagio, thanks.
Maybe better that you didn't see the first verse of a previous draft, which was:
Do not mistake me, oh, my darlin;
On this, our wedding... ni-ight
You must placate me, oh, my darlin'
F***, don't fight!
Don't make me "make you"; let me take you
You're "scared: stiff" so, you tried to hide!
My thirst, please slake me, oh, my darlin'
For I'm so achin', my nuts are breakin
' My sexy snake, in: mount and ride!
I shall let AmIRighters be the judge of which was the better choice.
Maybe better that you didn't see the first verse of a previous draft, which was:
Do not mistake me, oh, my darlin;
On this, our wedding... ni-ight
You must placate me, oh, my darlin'
F***, don't fight!
Don't make me "make you"; let me take you
You're "scared: stiff" so, you tried to hide!
My thirst, please slake me, oh, my darlin'
For I'm so achin', my nuts are breakin
' My sexy snake, in: mount and ride!
I shall let AmIRighters be the judge of which was the better choice.
pretty romantic...lol
Adagio and alvin, thanks.
Got a kick out of the way you re-done this old movie classic theme....clever rhymes, lines...and love that ending...very funny and maybe you could have used a subtitle here, like, "Hard Noon"
Do not mistake me, oh, my darlin; "On this, our wedding... ni-ight You must placate me, oh, my darlin' F***, don't fight! Don't make me "make you"; let me take you You're "scared: stiff" so, you tried to hide! My thirst, please slake me, oh, my darlin' For I'm so achin', my nuts are breakin ' My sexy snake, in: mount and ride! I shall let AmIRighters be the judge of which was the better choice."
This Amirighter says that it's ...interesting. ; )
This Amirighter says that it's ...interesting. ; )
AFW, thanks, loved your subtitle - WITTY (Wish I'd Thought of That Yesterday".... Adagio, thanks for watching the instant replay, so to speak. :)
Laine-tastic, I'm all a t'Ritter!
Thanks, TJC!
Worth hearing that annoying song one more time to get the chuckles derived from this parody.
Agrimorfee, I take it you're not a fan of the movie... source of the parody movie "Shanghai Noon" with Jackie Chan :-) Thanks for v/c.
Still blushing, Sir . . . if not Blinking !
UnKnownBride, you'll get over that soon... Was it good for you, too? ... thanks for v/c :-)
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/frankielainetexritter0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
This is view # 1875