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Song Parodies -> "Whip-Chained Melody"

Original Song Title:

"Unchained Melody"

Original Performer:

The Righteous Brothers

Parody Song Title:

"Whip-Chained Melody"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

alvin rhodes has said that his two least favorite OS of all time were: (#2), "MacArthur Park", and (#1) this one. Coincidentally, I had just done #2 a few days before he posted that comment. Red Ant, Michael Pacholek, and alvin himself have all trashed this OS, but maybe "One good burn deserves another"? OS lyrics here. Midi here.And in case ya didn't notice, THERE'S NOT A SINGLE DIRTY WORD IN IT!
Oh, my love, my Domme one
My bum: adore, whip touch
A long, lovely time
Quite tied, I lie, so lowly
Tight line, cannot move much

I am..... so yours!
I need your chain
I need your pain
Plain: cane, not lain
For me

Leather tethers run from my wrists to my knees
Rear: spread-eagled wide; legs in vees
Lovely shivers; sigh: Lady tease, then she freeze
Am I coming home? Mistress, please!!!!

Kiss your glove, my darling
In hungered teeth, I clutch --
Your thong; moan, "sub"-lime;
I pine for gyne; so holy:
Thy shrine, I worship much

Are you.... divine?
I need your rein
I need your reign
Queen, pee your rain
On me!

Don her underclothes; organ grows; glows in glee
Nose knows: smells like rose, her hei-ney
Lovely river flows: pee on me; peon: me [1]
Praise her toes in prose; paean: me! [2]

Dominatrix, darling
I'm buggered by nonesuch
Belong: only thine
I dine: thy guacamole
So fine, straight from your "crutch"

Am I... your swine?
I need a sign
I bleed and whine
Cat tails o' nine
To me!!!!

[1] "peon": a worker bound in servitude to a landlord or other master.
[2] "paean": a song of praise (origin is Greek)

I don't necessarily care for any of this stuff, but behind closed doors, I am secretly homophonic. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh, sure, Tommy, you always complain about the leather, now you're finally doing something about it! I submit... five lashes with a wet noodle for this brilliant, dominant parody!
Paree Dee - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Your love of the lash speaks loudly, my dear... methinks you doth protesteth wayyy too much, hahahah. I'll cuff you with a pair o' fives, and one to boot !
AFW - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Masochistic, sadistic, and fantastic....You're a regular William Shakesrear.......555 lashes
alvin rhodes - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
this just can't be beat
YAD - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
I always thought that during S&M, one could only wail in agony/desire. You've proven one can SING to a dominatrix as well. 555
Paree Dee - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Just had to re-comment.... the "pee on, peon, paeon"... was another great example of your amazing wordsmithery... I've been laughin' 'bout it all morning !
Agrimorfee - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Are you sure yer not Johnny D? ;)
Dee Range - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
What Paree Dee And Agrimorfee said. You must be the love child of Johnny D. and John A. Barry. The guacamole line is also great. High 5's
Rick C - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
I just cannot deSade how to score this. Oh...555
Tommy Hurt'll - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek, thanks... "leather" :) good one... Paree Dee, thankth, and you can kith my math... AFW, thanks, lol... alvin rhodes, thanks lol... YAD, thanks,;is that from personal knowledge? heh heh... Paree Dee, thanks again... see postscript; homophonery is my secret vice... Agrimorfee and Dee Range, thanks... you can ask Johnny D that...first Peter K1 thinks I'm Spaff, then you guys call me a bastard of two (apparent) gays... thanks a lot... no, seriously, one couldn't ask for better (alleged) lineage; TUVM for the extremely high compliments... I have learnt much from each of those gentlemen... and the bio is almost ready for "submission", :D so to speak, but trying to get a website up and running to link to from it... That will be the next project, if I ever finish these @#$%&* income taxes!!!!!

Dee Range, speaking of my secret homophony, your daughter, the English teacher, might could use "There, Their, They're" in her classes. (same permission and anal-lawyer stuff as your previous reprint request).
TT - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Rick C., just caught that after "submitting" my previous comment (musta crossed while typing)...Marquis it any way you like... Lol and thanks :)... and thanks again to alvin rhodes for "stimulating" this parody.
carol - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
To parody an old Kiss song: Whip it up, Whip it up Ohhh yeah It's only right now Whip it up, Whip it up Ohhh yeah
TT - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
carol (lol), thanks.
PMS - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Showering you with fives!!!
Johnny D ?? Or Tommy Who ?? - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee and all other AmIRighters, the charade has gone on long enough --- you have found us out --- Johnny D and Tommy Turtle are indeed ONE. ;-) Metaphysically and mystically speaking, of course. ;-D
Mystery Turtle - April 15, 2006 - Report this comment
PMS, thanks.... betcha AFW would love that "shower" too (cf his "Golden Shower"; I paid him a tribute to this a few days later "Airfarcewon".
JDOTW, heh heh heh heh heh
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 15, 2006 - Report this comment
You know, after I wrote that comment about you and Spaff I realised that your almost excessive use of hyphens is the same as the/that trademark of Johnny D! You should have come out of your shell on April first...
Johnny D - April 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter, when you get to be MY age, excessive use of hyphens is just what the doctor ordered. I have no idea what that sentence means, but it sounds vaguely ridiculous.
Michael Pacholek - April 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Johnny, I'm not sure if I agree if hypenating things is a sure-sign of old-age. Your half-assed guess is as good as mine.
Larry Hensley - April 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Yeah baby! 555's
TT, not JD - April 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter K1, Johnny D, Michael P, I don't wanna get in the middle of this hyphen thing -- or let it get in the middle of me -- or my phrases -- ok, enough :)
JD, I think part of it was he thinks that I am an April fool's joke of yours. I'm somebody's joke, for sure, but that's a different issue lol. .. K1, I know it's scary to think that there could be two minds as warped as Johnny D's on the same planet -- uh oh, hyphen again!... end of sentence.

Larry Hensley, yeah, glad ya liked it! ;-)
Stephen Harrington - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Whoa.... 555.
TT - May 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Stephen Harrington, thanks.
Mark Scotti - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I had a "Spanking" good time reading this! Thanks for the invite, TT!
Tommy Turtle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: You're "welt-come"! Thanks for cropping by!
Meriadoc - October 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Well it was just great until I read the disclaimer... ;)

Hmm... the security code is APT. How apt, my apt. or yours?
Tommy Turtle - October 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Merry, the disclaimer said "necessarily". Which implies that it is possible that the author *might* care for some of it. Oh, the suspense!

Considering that your apt. is supposed to hit the freezing point Friday night, and I'm looking at *lows* in the 70s for the next five days or so, I'd think that my apt. would start looking better and better. ;)

Sorry that I'm, uh, "behind" on my commenting and replying. Having some computer and other issues the past couple of days. Will catch up sometime soon, I hope, but saw that there was a comment on this one, and how could I resist? (Not if I know what's good for me, right? ;-D )
Peregrin - October 12, 2012 - Report this comment
TT, am I to assume that the above 'fantasy' (or IS it...?) takes place in your homemade dungeon, located at number 555?
Tommy Turtle - October 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Pippin, as said to Merry, I'll never tell, buwahaha! ;) ... and you're amazingly close on the address! But never cared for dungeons (or dragons, heh!). A simple bedroom (and perhaps some, uh, "accessories")... Thanks for v/c!

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